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Chris Brown (not the felon)

Chris Brown (not the felon)
Location
Oakville, Ontario, Canada
Birthday
April 19
Bio
Born to two humans, I have two prodigies who are also (coincidentally) human. I am the missing link. Look under "Sausage" and you'll find me. Not a good writer. But I love to laugh. So I read more than I write. I drink a fair bit too but that is irrelevant.

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Salon.com
JANUARY 30, 2010 3:36PM

The truth behind WSFTC

Rate: 17 Flag

I'm sure that most people who will read this, know the lady of whom I am speaking here. Will Someone Feed the Cat has done what I consider, yeoman's work here on OS and has made this community fun, friendly, and... well... fun again. So I stumbled onto her blog in the real world and thought that those don't really know her might be interested to hear what, exactly she does with all her free time. Curlers in the hair, fuzzy slippers, sipping gin and tonics. That's kinda what I suspected.

The fact that she does all the stuff she describes (and this is a typical week for her) and then does all the stuff she does here on OS... well... it makes the male in me week in the knees. Nobody will ever accuse me of being able to multi task. I have no idea how she does all this. This was posted last Friday...

"I have been a terrible blogger lately. I know that. But it is not that I have nothing to say, it's just trying to find the time, or, knowing me, managing the time better.

I found out a couple of weeks back that I would be heading to Kelowna tomorrow. I will leave Kelowna in a SmartCar and spend 4 days driving to Whitehorse. I'm going back to the Yukon! This makes me very happy. After my trip there in July, I was desperate to get back there in winter. But as you may recall, I left in an RV. I will be going back in a SmartCar. In January.

The junket continues on up to Nunavut, but my boss will be taking the car from Whitehorse and I fly home. It'll be a crazy, tiring week, and I can't wait.

But before you can disappear for a week, planets have to be aligned. The boys (and the Poor Sod) are fine when I go - they barely notice. But I like to load in food and leave the laundry done. I keep loading in food, and they keep eating it. I have to check for dentists appointments and exam schedules and leave notes. I wrongly believe the world grinds to a halt in my absence. This is not so, but I think it is.

I usually file columns on Mondays. This means two additional columns had to be filed in advance. Which means they had to be written. This is doable. But I'm also on a committee here in Burlington that will launch on Monday - the day I leave. I'm the Communications Director, which means in a matter of weeks, we've produced a website, developed a communications plan, and organized press releases. It's an important committee - we plan to talk to as many residents of Burlington (pop: 165,000) as we can in the next few short weeks, and be able to tell politicians what we have heard.

You know what a committee is right? You've heard that joke about a camel is a horse designed by a committee? I'm working with some fabulous people, but you also know I ain't much of a team player. A final meeting yesterday saw me absolving myself of any blame for the coming week. "No internet," I lied. I don't think they'll miss me, to tell the truth.

So. Going to meetings all the time. That's new for me. Going to Mark's Warehouse and buying flannel lined jeans is also new. I finally opened the travel docs for the trip, and realized I can only take carry-on. Dunno what I was thinking - we're traveling for days in a SmartCar ferchrisakes. I purposely peeked at one while in Detroit. This will be an experience.

At Mark's, Ari saw me come out of a change room.
"You're really going to wear those?" he asked me. I hadn't even asked "does my bum look big in these?" I knew. And now it was confirmed. I also bought these puffy, warm socks. I already have a good coat from when they sent me to Sweden. In January.

I whined to my editor that I'm always on ice floes. "Oh, well, why didn't you say so?" he asked innocently. "I just turned down trips to, lemme see, Rio de Janeiro - you don't speak Spanish, Capetown, you'd get tired from the long (business class) flight, Madrid - no, you'd complain about the junky airport, Miami and Phoenix - far too dangerous for someone as sensitive as you"

CTS called and asked if I could tape a show on Friday. Oh sure, I said. What's an hour of time for a show? I forgot the hours of time to cram on current events behind the show. A national magazine contacted me this week, wanting a parenting piece. This makes me very happy, and I jumped at the chance. "When's your deadline?" I asked. It's for the April issue. "Uhm, Friday the 29th," she said. I heard her duck. I said I'd have it done before I went away. I'm working on it as we speak.

Because everyone thinks I don't really work hard, none of this is making a dent, I know. But I started getting a cold on Tuesday. I never get colds. I pictured me in the Yukon, in a SmartCar filled with Kleenex. I asked my doctor if that ColdFX stuff works. She said no. I bought it anyway. It worked.

I had to pick up new glasses. They were ready, which was great. I noticed on Thursday I was getting a sty in my eye. At least the cold was going. I freaked out and started trying to treat the sty. I now pictured being in the Yukon in a SmartCar with a patch over one eye. Wearing pants that make my ass look a mile wide.

Today, I have my columns written. The TV show is in the can (Behind the Story, 7pm, CTS tonight). The magazine article is awaiting a final interview this morning (yes, Sunday) at 11 with a guy in Texas. There is a pile of fat pants on the bed sitting beside a tiny suitcase. I sent a kid to find my magic wand. I think I've wrestled the sty under control and the cold.

Lookout, Yukon. I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
"

 

Don't know 'bout you, but I think she deserves a big round of applause when she gets back. applause

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Yep. I'm clappin' already. And if I might add:

Cat...it ain't the same with you. And we took your threat seriously, and haven't gone off-the-rails meta for a whole week. You know that took a lot of work. That's how much we missed you.
I think she needs therapy -- obviously she's overcompensating for some deepseated feelings of inadequacy. Probably due to the cold air up there.

Btw -- I want more details about your flight to Haiti. You're not too shabby in the extra-curricular activities yourself.
clapping, cheering and profound gratitude
My lord, I have had the suspicion for awhile that she is a special lady, now I see the evidence. I'm tired just reading all this stuff. I think we should be grateful we get a small piece of her precious time and I really am grateful for what she does here.
Frank... As an editorial aside... did you mean "it ain't the same WITHOUT you?" Good thing she's still away.

sckeletnwmn... She HAS to be inadequate somewhere. I'd like to interview her boys and get some dirt. The flight was incredible. It made me feel completely inadequate and helpless. Until you see it in person you just can't comprehend.

Nikki Stern... you said it. When I read this I just couldn't believe it.

Torman... I agree. I don't know how she puts the time into OS that she does. I am beginning to suspect that she's actually THREE people writing under one name. Kind of the reverse of one person taking on several OS personae (is that a word? If not, then I claim it as mine. And plant my flag on it.)
General JK... You did an awesome job this week (with one minor... no, MAJOR exception. You don't see these sandals wearing a tiara. Oh... I have to write something GOOD for that? Never mind.) I truly respect you for not only taking it on, but diving in with both feet. OK... you can't dive with your feet. That'd be jumping. But you get my drift.

Pass on this post to whoever you think would like to have a bit of glimpse of her. I'm not one to send invites out, so I'll have to rely on word of mouth.
You call that busy? I rode by a gym last week, I'm give out! No kidding, how does she do it all. Plus she's got kids, wow! I have a new appreciation for her, but she's always been special! Thanks, Chris.
Steve... 'nuf said, huh?

scanner... I know what you're saying. If all those people really understood the amount of CO2 they're putting out in a gym (I don't usually put out in a gym... but given the right person, I could be persuaded) they would be embarrassed... EMBARRASSED, I tell you. Planet killers!!!
No. I ment everything I typped. I am a excilint prufreader.
Frank... egg salad. Keep up the fine work.

Cat... don't you have a snow drift to maul? This was supposed to be buried by my next thome by the time you returned. Nobody confuses anything you say or do with real life. Can't wait to hear the fun.
Cappy... you have no idea, man. Do you really think that test driving the latest Bently, or Ferrari or 200mph motorcycle (with 25 year old pro driver-boy-toy) is all fun and games? Give your head a shake, dude. Driving your own Pirate ship is way more fun. And edumucational, too.
Here, here. Great post Chris.
Hey Chris! Have you been to Haiti lately?
smooches, your Gal Friday
I think it's like in the movie Multiplicity. She's cloned herself. I think the theory was that each clone was worse than the last, 'cause it was like copying a photocopy. Proved that theory wrong. She does it all with grace.

(YES, YOU DO, CAT! You're pretty damned special. Glad you're back safe. We missed you too.)
Desert Penguin... I jes' tells it like I sees it.

aim... Nope, unfortunately I am now at the bottom of the volunteer list (although we did run another aid flight yesterday... so I moved up a few numbers.) Next time I'm taking my camera and I'll share.

CK... The problem with that theory is that if you start with a defective first copy, it can't possibly get any better with each copy. I suspect she's actually Martha Stewart, Peewee Herman, and Danica Patrick (or Jackie Stewart.)
Standing ovation . . . all around . . .