Forgive me today. I may look the smiling happy-go-lucky fellow that I normally am. But I am distraught. Distraught beyond words. But I will try to put my distraughtness into words. Even though I am beyond them.

 I have found myself in a lovely town called Las Vegas. I am surrounded by neither friends nor family. And I am sitting in a cold, callous  hotel room wishing that I could be at a warm, friendly place called Almosta Ranch. Torman and Mel are going through a time that no parent on the face of this planet should ever have to go through. They are contemplating going out to say good-bye to their son. They received a call telling them that it looks like their son doesn't have more than a month to live.

As the father of two daughters I simply cannot abide the thought of having either of them pre-decease me. It would cause me unbelievable  heartbreak and torment. The distress I feel for Mel and Torman are beyond words. And there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

 Nothing.

 In the word of the inimitable Lloyd Elliot.... Fuck. Please join me in praying to whomever or whatever higher power you believe in, to make this journey less painful than it appears it will be. 

 I am crying rivers of tears. I have no words to describe my heartfelt pain for them.

I don't know what to do.