Did you know that there are THREE muscles in a row, horizontally, above the pubic area? The teacher told us to focus on crunching them one at a time. I was in the process of developing an aneurism when the lady beside me felt sorry for me and told me to focus on my ovary area. Now I was confused as well as frustrated because I'm not really sure I know where my ovaries are. Aren’t they a little higher than the pubic area? Some students were trying to look as though they knew exactly what she was talking about. Some of us had expressions and seemingly spastic convulsions as we tried to find the elusive muscles. The spastics must have outnumbered the gifted because the teacher told us to pretend we had a pencil in our vagina and were drawing a circle on a piece of paper.
Now we were cooking! Sex had been tossed into the mix. Obviously, some of the ladies were repressed because they groaned in disgust. Hey, it worked for me..... I was way past circles.... I was writing my name!
The teacher tried to apply the moves she had taught us by making up simple little dances. We looked ridiculous. I accidentally caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrored wall. I had been telling myself my moves were sensuous and this type of dancing was perfect for a rubinesque women like me. The vision that I saw was anything but sensuous. I looked more like I had a live electrical wire up my backside!
Something that was a definite positive happened during class. I had popped my knee the week before and had been uncomfortable ever since. At some point while trying to move with some degree of fluidity, I popped it back! Doesn’t say much for my style, but the knee was back where it should be.
I staggered out of class and saw my husband, Adam, waiting for me. He prudently said nothing.
This week I wore my little coin scarf...... I think I tied it too tight.... didn’t hear too much jingling. Should have bought the expensive one; it had lots of little noise making coins.
Adam and I were going to Cuba so I would miss the next week’s class and I decided I might practice my moves in the pool. Did you hear about the isolated tsunami in a pool in Cuba?
© Chrissie Pissie 2011