AUGUST 1, 2011 11:36AM

Mom Vision

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eyes   We all know that teachers have eyes in the back of their heads. That is how they can be writing on the board and still say, "Mary, stop passing notes" or "Johnny, put that toy back in your desk." Of course, we professors all use Powerpoint slides and projected images, so we face the class all the time. We don't need those extra eyes in the backs of our heads (We are, however, working on developing eyes in the back of the room so we can monitor laptop usage while we lecture.)

But Moms are special; we have "Mom Vision." Mom Vision (MV) comes in two versions. The first is the ability of mothers to see items in other locations not within their normal field of vision. Like the ability to be in the kitchen and yell, "Your iPod is downstairs by the computer." (MV is often accompanied by "Mom ESP" as well, the ability to know that someone is looking for their iPod before they even ask.) MV is particularly powerful when she is outside of the home; for instance, when she is called at work with the question, "Where is my blue biology folder?" With her Mom Vision she is able to say, "On the floor under the coffee table, next to the couch."

The second version of "Mom Vision" involves the ability to see things that kids do without actually looking at them. Although similar to the teachers' "eyes," this version of MV usually manifests itself more in response to the declaration: "Watch this, Mom!" Mom is able to see the child perform said action (cartwheel, difficult Wii maneuver, writing a name, etc.) without actually LOOKING at the child. "That's great, honey!" Mom is able to say without seemingly have looked in the direction of the child. Moms use this type of vision most often while cooking dinner or reading the newspaper.

Of course, there is also Mom hearing, but I'll leave that for another day.

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And look out if the Mom in question is also the homeschool teacher! X-ray vision!