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Christopher Robbins

Christopher Robbins
Location
District of Columbia,
Title
Dictator-for-Life

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Winesburg, OH

Everybody seems to be talking bout how to save money these days. Hell, the county board told my neighbor he couldn't water his azaleas but once a week. And my wife has started using cloth diapers on little Cody.

And now y'all aren't… Read full post »

My Countrymen, put down your demitasse of 5-Hour-Energy and cease (briefly) slathering Proactive on your nervous, twitching faces. I have startling news.

Thoroughbred horse racing is in trouble.

Our comrade in arms, Andrew Beyer, who himself looks like a colt sired from the loins of Colonel Sanders a… Read full post »

APRIL 24, 2009 10:24AM

I'm Leaving You Bobby

Cut to commercial. We've got to talk.

No more Irish smiles
No more cheap denials
No more freckled arms playing 3-Card-Monty with my heart
It's over.

Your teleprompter stare
Your imported gruyere
As if you're so debonair
Well it's just a Santa Fe Burger, Bobby.

Queso sauce, pickled jalapenos, blue corn chips,… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 5, 2009 12:22PM

Steve Martin, Comedian: 1968-2009

Steve Martin, successful comedian and actor, and self-aggrandizing musician, author, playwright, and sequel-mongerer, found the source of his hilarity dead on the floor of his Los Angeles home on Tuesday morning.

It was only 41 years old.

Dr. Anthony Hernandez, its physician, noted that… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 29, 2009 12:27PM

The Reverend David Brooks: Thanks but No Thanks

Don't get me wrong, I think David Brooks is adorable.

Despite being as liberal as a transgender hemp factory, I listen intently to his nascent chuckling on PBS and NPR and dutifully read his column at the Times (my eyes never straying too far from those voluptuously shaped tortoise-shell soul-window… Read full post »