I posted here almost a year ago my thoughts about the Republican Party and their new principles. Amazingly, I was more prophetic than I thought, as the GOP has moved even further towards the extremist right wing. As another year has gone by, I wanted to list what I believe are Republican Party priorities.

As a 2009 Republican:

I COMMIT TO protect my personal income as highest priority, even if the Party represents none of my other principles.

I COMMIT TO scorn the needy as lazy, drug addicted or criminals.

I COMMIT TO concern myself with self first. I got mine, screw everyone else.

I COMMIT TO fear, hate or scorn all non-Americans because they either hate America or are trying to steal our jobs.

I COMMIT TO call all proposals by the Democratic Party Socialist or Fascist, even if the same idea was proposed by Republicans in the past. If necessary, I'll call Obama a Nazi or Hitler or Chavez.

I COMMIT TO equate Socialism to Communism so people fear it, ignoring the examples of Canada, Australia and all of Europe.

I COMMIT TO attempt to convince everyone that Socialism is a political system, not an economic system, so they think it eliminates voting and means government oppression.

I COMMIT TO lie about the health care systems of other nations and, regardless of the facts, declare that America has "the best health care system in the world." When I hear people from countries with universal health care state that they love their health care system, I will place my fingers firmly in my ears, yell "neener neener neener," and watch 4 hours of Glenn Beck to clear my head of information that does not support my current beliefs.

I COMMIT TO calling Medicare a failure even though it gets over 90% approval ratings from Medicare recipients, to calling the Post Office a failure while paying only 42 cents to send a letter 3,000 miles away, and to using the department of motor vehicles as an example of bad government because they were terrible many years ago.

I COMMIT TO assume Americans are gullible and stupid, easily falling for soundbites, catch phrases and visual images of us dressed up like rebels while we tear open Lipton tea bags over a Midwestern river.

I COMMIT TO accuse those who disagree with us of being unpatriotic, Socialist and anti-American, while acting offended if the same tactic is used against me. The difference is, we're right and liberals hate America.

I COMMIT TO never doubt that Jesus was a white Republican and that He preached guns, small government and government-enforced Christianity.

I COMMIT TO believe everything Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity say and to do whatever they tell me to. I will declare this godly triad to be impartial, educated and not drug addicted.

I COMMIT TO lie and exaggerate when necessary, like saying there were 1 million people at the September 12 DC protest when the official estimates were around 70,000, knowing the ends justify the means, and that Jesus will forgive me.

I COMMIT TO defend the racist things I do by saying, "There you go again with the race thing. It's not about race." This will silence my enemies, even though they will still know I'm racist.

I COMMIT TO attempt to convince other American workers that it is in their best interest to defend the wealthy, letting them think we are the Party of the little guy. Even though deregulation and the Bush tax cuts for the rich failed and caused a massive worldwide economic crisis, I'll still call for more of the same because it worked in the 1980s.

I COMMIT TO believing that the wealthy and corporations have the best interests of America and the little guy, while volunteers, non-profits and community organizers want nothing but to destroy America.

I COMMIT TO crying out for "small government" without defining it when the Democrats are in power, then defend massive spending by Republicans when we are in power. If a liberal calls me on this, I will claim that I "was the first person to speak out against Bush and the massive government spending," without any evidence of this, such as a single tea party or DC protest.

I COMMIT TO forgive all Republican sexual indescretions, even the homos, while still acting like it's the Democrats that lie and cheat on their wives.

I COMMIT TO using opposites to confuse the stupid, like saying the public option will reduce our options, and saying, "I don't want the government between me and my doctor" while calling for laws to put the government between a pregnant woman and her doctor.

I COMMIT TO put up token minorities in figurehead positions to distract from racist and xenophobic policies. Black men are preferred to them Mexicans.

I COMMIT TO say I want "the government out of our lives," while forcing others to obey my rules on marriage, abortion, sexuality, and anything else that I believe is right.

I COMMIT TO  watch only Fox News. If someone calls me on that, I'll say that I watch CNN, too, even though that's only to watch Larry King.

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Right wingnuts can disagree with this, but they'll have no evidence or facts to justify their opinions. Most likely they'll call me names, call me unAmerican, or threaten me.