II chronicles 30, 9: For if ye turn again again unto the Lord, your brethren and your children shall find compassion before them that lead them captive, so that they shall come again into this land. For the Lord your God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn away his face from you, if ye return unto him.

I haven't had any coffee in a long time, like about 3 months. I bought some yesterday and made myself a pot today this morning. I think it wasn't a good idea.

While I was driving around this morning, doing a few errands, I felt a weird kind of anxious feeling. It stayed with me all day, and got worse as the day wore one. Seriously, I think I need to never drink that again. I thought that the feeling was just because of the impending holidays. But it was because of the coffee. I realized this just now when I came home from babysitting the neighbors son upstairs. I was just doing the dishes and the thought that I was feeling this way because of the coffee I had.

What a weird day I've had; first I got upset because Pinkie my new bunny didn't like her cage. She just would rather be out of it and running around the apartment. I was thinking about finding her another home. That was weird. I felt so anxious about it. I was getting into a state of total anxiety.

So then I went to the mailbox and my unemployment check wasn't there. And then I had a full blown anxiety attack. Well not full blown really, just half blown I guess you could say. But there was a check in the mail from my mother. So I called her and thanked her. And told her about my bunny problems. She kinda said that she was surprised that I bought another bunny. Right about that time of the day, Stephen came over and asked me to babysit his son Nate. I said okay. He wanted to go to the wrestling match. So I've been babysitting for a few hours.

This isn't totally out of the norm, but I also went across the street and bought a bottle of champaign and a pack of cigarettes. I haven't felt like smoking in so long. And there I was, smoking and drinking. And all the time, thinking about my bunny Pinkie. Nate wanted to play with the bunny so we came down here and we got Pinkie and brought her upstairs with us. Stephen got back home at about 10:30 or so. And he brought another bottle of Andre champaign home. I had some.

Now I know this isn't all that weird, while reading about this. But for me it was all too weird. Because I started the day feeling so happy and relaxed and serene. And as the day wore on, it got riddled with anxiety, starting with the bunny.

Just now I was unloading the dishwasher and had the realization that it was maybe the coffee. since I haven't  had any in so long. And right now I am so tired. I even called the Bethany convent and left a message, asking sister Judith if the nuns who live in the convalescent building want a bunny. As they have one now that is for them to pet.

Pinkie loves to be held and petted. It's all she wants to do. I just brought her home and put her into her new cage and put it into the bedroom, fed her, and she's fine. I decided to do what I did with Priti when I found her last July. That's keeping her in the bedroom.

If this all sounds weird, it is to me too. I just need to go to bed now. And hope that tomorrow is better. And that my EDD check comes on Monday, and have tea tomorrow instead of coffee.

I don't even know why I bought coffee yesterday.