When I first started dating after my divorce, I really had such a good time, I wondered why anyone would want a relationship. Why did I ever get married? What was I thinking? There are men everywhere, conversations waiting to happen, all those first kisses. How much fun is this?

I arrived at the height of the online match making craze. And it was just like clothes shopping, something I was rather good at -- just flip through the electronic catalogue, read the descriptions and place an order. How easy is this?

Yeah. That wore off after the first year or so. But I had fun then. And a good attitude I'm trying to channel as I make my way out there again. So, here's some have-a-good-time advice ... that I'm going to think about ... next weekend. (Swap the pronouns as needed)

• Keep an open mind. So he (she) doesn't exactly look like his picture and he's missing a bottom tooth ... give him a chance! We all have our deal breakers but even if he's just broke your top three by his mere presence, let it go. Clear your head of preconceived notions and see what's interesting about this guy you'd-never-pick-up-at-a-bar but who's nonetheless sitting next to you right now. Have fun for the hour, even if you know there won't be a date 2. Most guys are interesting for a little while and if you try hard you can probably find something to laugh about. Just go with it, you might be pleasantly surprised. If, on the other hand, you know after 15 minutes that you're not getting within inches of this guy's lips -- ever -- then be sure to pay your way, keep it short and don't get drunk. Which leads me to the very important....

• Don't get drunk. Especially on a first date. Make that, never on a first date, or the all-too-critical second or third. For me, it's simply a matter of practicality: I've come to learn I have no judgment under the influence. Truly, pour some vodka on me and I can find the non-English speaking bus boy poetic and irresistible. Even if you handle your liquor with grace and clarity, don't risk it. Unless you're looking for a drinking buddy with benefits (which is just fine), too much booze sends the wrong message and eventually, you will lose judgment at least once and end up accidentally dating the bus boy who has no idea what you're saying (we all have one horror story. If you only have one consider yourself lucky...). Which leads me to the very important...

• Keep your horrors under wraps. At least for a little while. But just as you don't want to hear about how his ex took him for everything he had, he doesn't need to know you were back-stabbed and deceived. Or whatever. Fill in the horror story blank. I don't know anyone who's had a fascinating break-up or divorce. Even when all goes well, you can always detect words laced with bitterness, even when the story is supposed to be funny. Which is what initial dates should be -- funny, and fun. And light. Which brings me to...

• Keep it light. It's OK to talk politics if you're not easily upset and can keep your hands off the silverware. But unless I know the other person is in my camp, I try to avoid politics and religion on a first date. Of course, if your date can't shut-up about one or the other, that's another story -- that level of passion about hot-button topics can make or break a budding relationship. But for me, I learn the most about a guy from his music, sports, books and general interest news and reading topics. I also love to know about the non-essentials in a person's life (chocolate or vanilla? pickles or olives? dogs or cats?) And careers! Careers can be quite engaging -- I've learned about a few I never even knew existed! Which brings me to learning ...

• Learn something from each experience. If you've been keeping it light, fun and general interest, you'll at the very least know some new tunes to download, concerts to check out or blogs to bookmark. Even after just one date. A first date told me about free places to go boating, all over NJ. Another gave me a blow-by-blow description of bow hunting -- gross! But who who knew people even did such a thing? Not me (I still haven't gotten over it). Another gave me the name of a music blog that listed every free summer show in New York City -- handy! And I learned about some interesting career choices (and more than a few snoozes). And whether the guy was a charmer or an ass, learn that he might not call again -- even if you want him to. Or she may not pick up the phone. Even if it was the best date ever. Sometimes a great first date is just that -- a great first date. And that's all it'll ever be. And there's nothing wrong with that.