- July 11 you scared everyone with a blog you did about feeling suicidal … then you were hospitalized. Thankfully you got the help you needed. But what happened? … Can you (a published author) share this with us? (Just open a vein … think that’s the title of a book about writing.)
I don't know that I can 'just open a vein' on command....I don't work that way as a writer nor a human, however that is interesting....perhaps I was feeling too commanded at the time...too much pressure...ummm...what happened? I got real about what I wanted...which is to say...I pretty much turned all the tables in my own temple and stopped hanging with people whom I perceived as wanting me to be something I am not...I literally got sick trying to meet the expectations of others...then I got a more than full time job as editor to an author I have tremendous respect for...I adore my three co-editors...living here in the Northwoods..the work...writing my second book...and there is this woman who adores the real me, present, standing across from her...and I think she is just amazing. I mean...she reads me poetry at night....
- You use this Tom Robbins quote as your bio. What does it mean to you? “Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.”
I have used many quotes on my blog, but I'm sure I left that one up the longest because I think it's so true...and I think it's so true because I've lived it. I have been loved deeply and freely and returned that love...and it isn't a matter of obedience or even the layering on of some perception of honor...it is aiding and abetting...it is about letting love get away with loving which is wild and unpredictable...sometimes quiet and sweet.....try to make love stay and it will run....help it in it's cause and maybe...just maybe...it will thrive...
- Your blogs touch on a variety of subjects – sex, music, poetry, politics. If you were going to write a blog on one particular topic – what would it be?
I can't imagine writing a blog on one particular topic..those renaissance men were onto something....I have many interests...a curious mind...in that sense, my blog is a fair representation of who I am...
- You’re so open about being a lesbian. Do you keep anything in your life closest that you’re too scared to share?
I paused a long time at this question because of the combination of ideas...yes...I am so open about being a lesbian, although I call myself gay or butch...and then that is tied to a question about fear in other areas of my life...I wonder if the idea of being out seems scary to you...anyway...the answer is no...because I am not afraid of anything at the moment...
- You’re an inspiration to all us bloggers on OS because you post so frequently – and comment even more! How do you balance life and OS? (do you ever sleep?)
Ha! Yes, I sleep...at least eight hours, typically....how much do I post...I don't even know...three to four times a week? I don't spend over an hour on any post...only the interview with GOP candidate Joel Pollak...that took more time...I have an organic approach to OS...it's interwoven throughout the day...this is a living, breathing community to me...I work, I play, I comment...I take walks, I eat...only at night now do I take long breaks...
- If you could change one thing about OS, what would it be?
The mob mentality.
- Name 3 ways OS has affected your life – made it different.
I have learned so much about having an audience...what that means as a writer and a reader...I have learned about what it means to relate with that audience, for better and worse...there are many people on OS I only know through comments...others I have a PM relationship with, a handful I have met...a few have blossomed into true friendships...
OS helped me get the job I have now...or rather I should say...the life I have now...I post under my own name...and in this case...it was regarded as a kind of resume, examples of writing style, and demonstration of my ability to communicate through comments....I don't think if I was posting as...I dunno...Dark Angel or something...it would have been regarded in the same way...well...in fact...I know it wouldn't have been...but, I digress...
OS got me in touch with what I wanted...through some amount of pain, obviously...I am not naive to the fact that some of my 'bullies' came around because I am gay...that they kicked the gay person down harder for going through the same things others have on OS...at any rate...in my case, what didn't kill me, made me stronger...made me get down into the depths of my soul... and you know...just fuck the noise...although that is often not the case...bullying can be fatal....just look at the suicides of gay men over the last month.
- What do you notice first when you meet someone?
That depends on the person...maybe it depends on what they want me to see...
- Oscar Wilde – who’s a writer and poet who died in 1900 -- said this: “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” What do you think? And do you think that’s why so many people have handles and avatars online?
I think people are afraid to be real...they are afraid of what others will think...family, co-workers...whomever...so they put the mask on...not a very good reason to don a mask...yes...I think that is the reason so many do have avatars and handles online...to hide...first from themselves, maybe...I disagree with Oscar Wilde...if someone puts on a mask to tell the truth...that's a contradiction in terms, no? One of the most tragic and funniest things to see on OS is when there's a dust up and the majority of participants use handles and fake avatars..it's like watching a dark cartoon...
- “Unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness.” (forget who said this) What does truth mean to you? And do you agree with this quote?
I don't think there's such a thing as Truth with a capital T in a post-modern era...that cat is out of the bag...and it isn't going back in... and this quote...seems rather...moral...and exaggerated...I mean...behind every decision you make? Seriously? Every, meaning...what kind of apples to buy? How many decisions of a grand nature do we make in our lives? We can discount marriage right away...looking at the divorce rate...I think it's a grand decision...so my heart and soul and being better be behind it...but other than that...really...how many of these pivotal decisions do we enter in to? Anyway...truth to me in relationships...is about being real...it isn't about you said this and I said that...it's about respecting another's perceptions...and of course, there are the decisions we do make with heart and soul that turn out to be wrong...what then? I don't like quotes like this much, I guess...but that's an opinion which is most of the content around anywhere...it doesn't have anything to do with truth. Truth is always seen as brutal or negative...why? If I say someone is beautiful, is that not the truth, as well? We are suspicious of positive honesty.
- Do you think people are mostly honest? Or do you think we all wear masks, fearful of the truth, of exposure? Or, so people just not know their truths? What do you think?
I think people are as honest as they can be or want to be. After all, it's not like anyone owes the internet and everyone on it a rundown of everything that's gone on in their lives...I think another's truth is earned...yes, I talk about my life on my blog in clearly some very real terms...but that isn't the same as knowing me in a complete sense...it's not in the same way my BFF knows me... or the way a certain woman is getting to know me through shared experience, touch, and talking...these kinds of relationships take time...and while I value all of my friendships online and offline...there is a difference....xox
froggy
Thoth
Susie Lindau
Mimetalker
Frank Michels
Surazeus
Salon.com
Comments
To say I am in awe of those who write on OS would be NO lie.
When Robin was going through difficult time my heart was broken for her like others.
To see her evolve back to a strong Robin who looks so happy now just thrills me.
She's baccccccccccccccccccck and here to stay.
This was a wonderful interview and rated with hugs.
~R
Rated.
Well, I use a false name on here all the time (including dustups, which I damned well know I should stay out of) and have since I first joined nearly two years ago. I have outlined the reasons why, and they stand up -- at least for me.
That said, Robin ... it's so nice to learn more about you than I had gleaned even from your posts (which I read diligently). Congrats, Cindy, for exploring the mind of one of the most interesting people on OS.
Rated.
Dunno why I mentioned this........but, I enjoyed this great, insightful interview with Robin, a great, and insightful writer.
I'm happy for you.