At first, it wasn’t so bad. I gave myself time to lounge. I let the laundry go; what’s the rush? I let the cleaning go; what’s the hurry? I didn’t vacuum, mop or even make my bed. I had all day … and tomorrow and the day after.

Having a routine, having to get to work at a certain time, having that structure … it felt good to give it up. Having to food shop, go to the gym, do laundry all in a given day … well, it takes a certain amount of organization and scheduling.

Without a schedule, I stopped organizing. Without organizing, I stopped doing. Oh, I still went to see my grandmother everyday. I still went through my morning meditation … but that’s about it.

Now I have a sink full of dirty dishes and no clean clothes. I haven’t gone to the gym in a week and I’m addicted to “Dharma and Greg” re-runs.

Help! I might have to get a job at Burger King just to get structure back in my life. I hate to admit it … but I’m not productive if I have too much time.

I’m being a little hard on myself; I am writing everyday. I started writing a book years ago and now I add a few paragraphs a day. Even if it never gets published, I’m committed to finishing it.

I hate that I need structure. I could never work from home unless an editor held a deadline over my head. I need deadlines.

So, I’m getting off the couch and giving myself deadlines. I’ll boss myself around, schedule a time to vacuum, to wash clothes and go to the supermarket. I’ll have to be my own boss.

And I have to write more than a few paragraphs a day. And get my resume professionally done. I apply for a job everyday…. I have to step up the effort and apply for 10 a day.

Goodbye Dharma and Greg; I’ll miss you. But I have to get busy before my only option is flipping burgers.