Being – or having – a housemate has been a part of my life for many years. Even when I was married with small children, I had foreign exchange students in the basement and attic.

Since being laid off in February, I found it necessary to once again seek housemates to help cover housing expenses. I never thought I’d be middle aged and forced into a living-with-strangers market after being independent, but the dismal employment climate has changed my life. I’m not alone.

In her book “Sharing Housing, A Guidebook for Finding and Keeping Good Housemates,” author Annamarie Pluhar shares her experience and tips. It offers a wealth of information (including downloadable worksheets) covering areas I never thought of. Anyone considering housemates should read it. Although I have a lot of experience in this area, there’s always more to learn.

In the past, I had just one housemate at a time, usually a student or intern who spent most of his or her time working and studying. Out of 25 or 30 people I’ve shared space with, I had only one bad experience. A young 22-year-old girl disappeared without paying her rent and left behind bags of garbage, half full beer cans and a slew of fruit flies.

This time, I needed two housemates, ended up with three, and couldn’t wait to get rid of the first guy I welcomed. He is my second bad experience, which, happily, is coming to a close. Luckily, I took security this time.

The first two rules in most situations: follow your instincts and don’t act out of desperation. If I had followed those basics, I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in. I found that instincts, especially when it comes to something as intimate as sharing bathroom and refrigerator space, are more reliable than credit and background checks.

I had a bad feeling about John Doe from the day I met him. Fussy and demanding, he left me frazzled after our first interview. But he was employed, appeared to be clean and had lived on his own. He had a cat, which I didn’t mind, and laughed easily and often. He was young, said he rarely drank and would only use the microwave since he didn’t know how to cook. On paper, he seemed like a perfect housemate. I figured he’d be working and hanging out with his friends most of the time.

Still, after he left, red flags dotted my brain. I couldn’t put a name on my uneasiness. I didn’t want the cat, though I couldn’t explain why. Something about his pickiness and whininess made me fret. I wasn’t convinced even when he handed over security and the rent through the next month.

If I had followed my instincts, he wouldn’t have moved in and I wouldn’t now have an attic space that reeked of cat urine. If I had followed my instincts, I’d have more food in the pantry and there’d be no mystery to solve of “what happened to all the bowls, spoons and forks.” If I had followed my instincts, the perfect housemate would have come along.

Happily, he and his cat are leaving and since another roommate already moved in, I don’t need to find anyone else. I learned from the experience that “no pets” is a smart rule and that money shouldn’t be a deal maker.

Here’s what else I learned:

-- Always take security. People can destroy anything or vanish in the night.

-- Make hard rules about how food and extraneous goods (like toilet tissue, light bulbs and paper towels) will be paid for.

-- Decide from the start if you can deal with sleep over guests.

-- Set – and enforce – ground rules like no smoking or parties. Be clear.

-- Write out all house rules and division of chores. Nip problems as they occur.

 Anyone who hates people should probably consider a second job or moving rather than invite people into spare rooms. Housemates aren't for everyone. But if you're patient, laid back and generally enjoy company, sharing space is a perfect solution to financial woes.