One word rewrote a tragic self-perception I had carried for thirty years.  Robyn, I've lost track of you, but I will never forget you. 

A seemingly typical family.  I am on the right.  

The Vulnerable Years.  That's how I view childhood, when a thought… Read full post »

Well summers over an you now what that mean's!!!

The barns a-waitin for a nother ole fashin hair puling fite!  Thats right lady's!  Or so-called ladie's!  You no who you are.  Sign up in the commit's for eather the "Mean Girl's" or the "Nice Girl's."

Now how do you decide if… Read full post »

If silence truly is golden, what’s the equivalent of all the noise around my house? Iron? Granite? Concrete busted up by a jackhammer?

I’m taking the noise tour of my house.  And it is a noisy house: I had three teens until recently.  The eldest has now/… Read full post »

I got my just desserts the night I met him.  We didn't know each other from atom, but there in the mist of a crawdad nightclub, I must have peeked his interest.

He came over and offered to buy me a drink.  "Hey darlin'," he said, "from my vintage point, you… Read full post »

“To tell you the truth, Mom, I think that everyone I love would have been better off if I’d never been born.”

What can a parent do, when confronted with such unhappiness?  Options are so limited when you live paycheck to paycheck.  I tried to keep commu… Read full post »

This story began in my son's babyhood.  Part 1 can be read here.  Part 2 is here.  

The straight A’s that came too effortlessly to you during elementary school proved your undoing during junior high.  You’d never learned perseverance in the face of a… Read full post »

This is the second part of my story about my firstborn.  The first part can be read here.  The third part will describe the way my son's current struggles could have been predicted from babyhood. 

Stories of the twenty years I've loved you could fill a book that… Read full post »

I've loved you all your life, even before you were born, when you were just a tint on a home pregnancy test.  When, in the obstetrician's office, I heard on the fetal stethoscope the galloping sound that emanated, amazingly, from within me, and recognized you--YOU--you existed!--I… Read full post »

.

I would rather be Thumbified

.

Than Mummified

.

Or Dumbified.

.

Though lately I've been feeling

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Glumified.

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And sometimes, with Freaky,

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I get Crumbified.

.

And when I'm late

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It's cuz I'm Bumified*

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Get it? if not,

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You're probably Umified**

.

And… Read full post »

Thoughts on the unhinged reaction to the Obama speech:

Some are contending that the changing of wording in a lesson plan is proof that their suspicions were right!  This is an insidious plan to control the minds of our vulnerable youth! 

And at first, I thought they were nuts!&nb… Read full post »

I was playing around with my cheap old camera.  This is Will's computer desk overlooking our back yard and a twelve-story mirrored building a few blocks away, at sunset.  There was a "reduce graininess" in my old Photodeluxe program, so I chose that, and moved the lever thing way over. … Read full post »

1. Who was your WEIRDEST prom date?

I never had an actual prom date, but Pee Wee Herman once asked me to dance at a Ramada Inn lounge in Terre Haute, Indiana.

2. Who was your WEIRDEST love and do you still talk with him/her?

He wasn't that weird, but… Read full post »

or, Why I prefer y'all stay virtual

Here's why I ain't meeting any of you, any time soon:

1.  I would have to shower and change my pajamas.

2.  Wait a minute--I wear Will's teeshirts for pajamas.  I'd have to find real CLOTHES to wear??

3.  My devastating wit is more… Read full post »

In just an hour or so I should have some really offensive pix up from my latest OS meet-up! 

It will be worth hanging around your computer for another hour or two on a Saturday night, you nerdy losers!!!  Go read some loser's post while you're waiting!  Click on any of… Read full post »

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This liveblogging EVENT of UNPRECEDENTED MAGNITUDE is being broadcast from an undisclosed location!  Your host for this evening's EXTREME SPORTS EVENT -- Ms. Freaky Troll Supermodel!!!!

Stevie B and Duane warm up the already-hyper crowds! 

Keep refreshing your page, as… Read full post »

A message from the editors of Open Salon:

Cindy Ross was discovered inebriated after eating most of a rum pudding cake, attempting to write an update about the OPEN SALON WIMMEN'S PUDDIN RASSLIN. This is what we found on her notepad:

OH REALY SUX.  WIMMEN'S PUDDIN RASSLIN RASSLIN RASSLIN. We have… Read full post »

The editors of Open Salon have asked me to make the following rules clear:

1. Open Salon is not responsible for any injuries, damages, loss of property, or overdoses of pudding that may result from the OS Wimmens' Puddin' Rasslin' Event this Sunday 7/12.

2.  Open Salon is not responsible… Read full post »

He sleeps as I type. The early-morning sun squeezes through the cracks in the blinds. The day promises to be brilliantly, glaringly hot, again. But for now, it is cool enough for everyone to sleep. Except for me. I've furtively crept out to take care of the dog, and… Read full post »

If life were a theme park, we'd all get on the Circling the Drain Ride at about the age of 40.  The first loop is a scenic ride with few moments of vertigo, but the suspense builds as we continue to circle.  Faster, faster, the centrifugal force slams us to the… Read full post »

This kind of disrespect needs no comment....

  Read full post »

Around its inventor bores the deciding frown.
A brown illiterate burns Art near the damaged patience.
The identifier zooms!

Flowers bay under the clean override.
Freaky fiddles over the preceding protein.
Art portrays the rainbow near another nuclear lemon.
Should a locked mass pulp vegetables?
The nons… Read full post »

2nd UPDATE - (read the first update if you haven't, then come back here) 

Kerry responded:

Hi Cindy,

I think encouraging flagging is the best bet. I can't check my inbox too often anymore -- it's just too full. It's not a reliable way to communicate with me. We'll see all… Read full post »

The Wretched Freaky by Chris Van Allsburg & Cindy Ross

Once upon a time I was the captain of a ship.  We traveled all over the world, and on one of our voyages we found a mysterious island.  It was empty and nothing grew there, but the crew took aboard… Read full post »

(Oh, the sheer joy of a pissed-off sounding headline.)

I've said my piece about the changes, and I'll keep my word--you won't hear any more Cassandra prophesies from me.  I don't WANT to be proven right.  In fact, I've been thinking today about ways you guys can prove me wrong.  We… Read full post »

I posted this as a comment where it was ignored by the people doing the happy-dance.  So I'll repost it where I probably should have, here. 

I'm among the ones who played Cassandra all day. What did I expect? No one listened to her, either.

I'm not especially concerned about blinking… Read full post »