Getting Things Done?  Nyuk, Nyuk, Yuk!

 Dear Dead-in-the-Water Democrats:

     Look, fellas, I know an election is coming in less time than it takes to have a baby. I know it's been a tough winter, and at this point half your caucus is so panicked they are either jumping out the window or  spinning on the floor like Curley going "woowoowoowoo!"

    But the only chance you have of earning the respect (and maybe the votes) of Americans at this point is to get something done. And the thing you HAVE to get done is health care reform. Here's how you can do it.

    Poll after poll shows that Americans want healthcare reform, but they are afraid of what might lurk in that paper monster you call a bill. Scaremongers have convinced a lot of them that it contains a blueprint for government takeover of medicine. Boogedy-boogedy-boogey!

    Now, you can stand around saying, "Does not!" and they will go on saying, "Does too!" until the clock runs out. Chances are that damn few senators on either side of the aisle have actually read the whole thing. A penitent monk with nothing better to do would have trouble getting through it. For sure I haven't, and that puts me in company with 99.9 percent of the rest of America.

    So, the Hon. Harry Reid & Co., here's what you can do: break it up into a bunch of small, simple, straightforward bills. Present the "insurance companies may no longer ream you and then toss you out in the street naked and shivering when you get sick" bill, and I guarantee you the public will support it. Let the Republicans vote in a bloc against that at their peril. The very same day, you can put up the "everyone gets insured one way or another, and everyone pays something" bill and let that come to a vote. And so on. Maybe you won't get the whole thing done, but half a bill is better than none. The House-Senate conference can merge them into something unified.

    At any rate, please don't bleat to us about Senate procedures and traditions. We don't want to hear it. It's your institution, you had 60 votes, and you still have 59. This week, you actually got some bipartisanship going. If you still can't figure out how to make it work, then we'll look for someone else for the job. But meantime, don't sit on your thumbs. Get cracking!