Naples, 1866

Sign reads: Acqua Gelata (ice water) E Cocco Fresco (fresh...?) Al Bicchiere 5 cent (5 cents a glass)

 

I don't know much about Italian language or culture. I'm a deplorable person, without so much a thirst for knowledge as a bad case of cottonmouth. I did,… Read full post »

 

 

 

SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger typically attaches a message to bills he signs or vetoes telling lawmakers why he took the action.

A Democratic assemblyman who heckled the governor during a recent event in San Francisco actually received two messages: the… Read full post »

Their "Fuck You!"s marked lunch better than Grandma Time

Complementary chords straddling the acoustic grid of our street

as they walk to the corner for pizza-

"Suck my dick!"

 

 

 

 

"Suck your own dick!"

 

Tiresome solos of raucous laughter,

 

The lone, angry, "BITCH!"… Read full post »

Whatever grace I now attain comes from dropping, stubbing, and bumping into every object, at every possible angle, multiple times. Running into a sliding glass door?  try running through the screen, twice. Ever accidentaly flush your deodorant own the toilet? Skin your nose with your finger… Read full post »

I haven't been posting much because everything I write turns out the same depressing bullshit about how I'm crazy and become a bitter crank who scowls at babies and kicks puppy dogs. Then comes the shame spiral of how I can't get over it all because I'm a narcissistic fuckwit. Then… Read full post »

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?

This would imply that I had more than one prom date. Way to make me feel popular, list of firsts.

2. Who was your FIRST love and do you still talk with him/her? 

Joe* (names have been changed to protect people from being… Read full post »

Yes, you may leave the table.

But DON'T step on that cheese.

DON'T MOVE. Just move.

Mommy is still eating.

Monsters? No. Nothing to be afraid of.

But IF YOU STEP ON THAT CHEESE,

a big monster will come and getcha.

No dessert til mommy is done.

Here, take the napkin-… Read full post »

crawl out from your bed

 from under there, what you said

keeps pulling you there

 

 

Crawl out from under the bed, kitten

and have a drink

the clink and tinkle

of empty to full and back again.

the hum of the air and chorus

of shared reminiscing,

the collective despair… Read full post »

There once was a man

Who was born with no hands

So he did everything with his feet.

He lived in a town which grew

Apples and pears,

They were his favorite, if only,

Treat.

 

The people were awed,

Amazed and slack-jawed,

And thought him a man of renown.… Read full post »

 

 

Blogs are a young form of expression. Bloggers are a new breed of communicators, artists, and beings. A vanguard. There aren't many rules and that's the way we like it.

We struggle with an explosion of new forms of communication. We often get confused as to just WHERE we… Read full post »

 

Graphite balloon blown sweet with hope

High star so near so far

Light gossip lifting boy to man

Jump; tag the highest hall-beam now

 

 

 

 

Photo courtesy Read full post »

Another lovely little wackness passed down from my father to me- the waking terrors.

Technically he had night terrors. Luckily, I got waking terrors, in addition to nightmares, which are different than night terrors; if you have young children you've probably learned the difference.  You'v… Read full post »

One day last August, groggy and in need of coffee, I saw my dad on television. I spazzed out and did a double-take, only to see it wasn't my dad at all, but some guy named Bill Ayers. The resemblance was uncanny - the hair, the glasses, the... shortness. Who was this… Read full post »

 

 

 

Art Spiegelman

 

 

Do you remember Walter?

 

 

Grant Wood

 

 

A Defense of Rush Against Intolerant Liberals

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I bought this book with my x-mas $ and all I got were some fucking stickers. Thanks for nothing, SteVen.

 

 

I ain't gonna lie, I didn't make it past the 2nd chapter.

 

 

"What would you think if I planned to organize things in such… Read full post »

Nothing.

This was just an excuse to post the Talking Heads video. Bonus cute guy on Salvia.

 

 

 

 

 

A bulldog bites its reflection in the mirror and cracks the glass, shits on the rug, the cracked mirror reflects 8 different piles of shit and all the flies with busty eyes swarm down.

In a black and white movie, creepy argus eyes start opening around the character at ever
…

Read full post »

 

I don't know how much an FCC fine is going for these days, but one thing's for sure - Clear Channel can't afford it.

They're dangerously close to defaulting on their debt, which would drive their interest loans up sharply.

They've split with Arbitron, the radio currency for a… Read full post »

When I was younger I found comfort, beauty and laughter wherever I could find it.

As I got older and went through painful times, I kept myself from hurting through systematic repression.  A game called 'front burner, back burner' kept the nightmares at bay.  Before bed I conjured up th… Read full post »

 

At dusk my daughter greeted me

blue flower in her hair

that paled against her rosy cheeks-

I stopped and started there

at a scent at once familiar

but so foreign to the sight

bringing back each tender spring embrace,

each balmy sleepless night.

She led me from darkened cottage… Read full post »

One morning, dashing off to work, I skidded on a slippery cunt and careened head-first into the jutting corner of the closet.  My head rang and I smelled the taste of blood, and I sat still for a moment while said cunt wafted gently down next to me with cartoonish physics… Read full post »

Here's the best dream I've ever had.  I often think of it when things gets me down.

I am running on a wide, raised dirt road with water on either side, big healthy trees growing up out of the water.  There's a perfect 10 am sun overhead, sometimes filtering through the… Read full post »

Ok, so I'm starting to grok what readers will click on instinctually and without thinking.  Nudity, vulgarity, sensationalism, Obama, the word 'you' and lately, lists.  Here are some (fictional) titles that would be unread if the opposite theory held true.

 

Rating the Vending Mac… Read full post »

Once a week, for sanity, we take a look at the elephant in the room.  Let's go.  It's in the corner.  Yes, move those papers.  Now help me with this curtain.  Yes, it does look like a table, doesn't it?  You'd never know, apart from the smell.  Here's our elephant.&… Read full post »

ANYWHEREVILLE, U.S.-MEXICO BORDER - Tragedy struck the Vallejo Square Mall food court yesterday when a group of tweens were attacked by a violent blue chimp. 

"It happened so fast, one minute we were laughing, then Jorge fell off his chair, and we saw the monkey on top of him" says a… Read full post »