Colony of Losers

Colony of Losers
Halifax, Canada
December 31
Colony of Losers
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Michael Gray Kimber is a 26 year old writer from Halifax, Nova Scotia born slightly after the ides of March. Since the age of six when he realized his career in professional modeling was going nowhere he has wanted to be a writer. At the age of 10 years old he wrote his first book “A Game’s Master Games”. It was a derivative of Mortal Kombat and if published would have resulted in a rather lengthy lawsuit which would most likely have ruined his middle class family. Much has changed since then. His brother became a rapper known as Josh Martinez. His father Stephen Kimber began known for punching idiots in the face with his oh so powerful words. Graduated from King’s College with a degree in English as well as a degree in Journalism he finds himself on the hunt for actual employment. Launching his blog Colony of Losers he hopes to get attention for his finished novel For Four, encourage magazines to give him freelance work and find an employer who will make all his dreams come true. During this struggle to become an adult he came to grips with an anxiety disorder that would see him lose the ability to sleep and go to war with himself. He went looking for a cure, trying every solution suggested by the internet, from self help groups to medication, to hot yoga where beautiful women farted in his face to meditation sessions with madmen. Nothing was too ridiculous in the hopes that he could make it all stop. The Cure is his story, as friends and family made him realize that their wasn't a cure, there was simply learning how to live with it. 1 in 5 deal with mental illness. The system is not equipped to deal with them. The stigma of mental illness is keeping us from recognizing the crisis that is facing his generation. The ridiculous and offensive honesty of this story is meant to give a human face to what we would all prefer to look away from. Read his series in its entirety at While this begins with his story it will soon move onto his talented friends, inspiring strangers and absolute nutjobs he meets along the way. To get in contact with Michael please email him at PS my avatar is made by the amazingly talented Peter Diamonds who is the chief illustrator in the series.


Colony of Losers's Links
SEPTEMBER 21, 2014 4:45PM

All Love is Unrequited

An idea occurred to me as I was walking today.
And this strange idea of all love being unrequited.
And what I mean by that is that it isn't the same, or mirrored.
We aren't ever experiencing the same thing as the people we love.
In our
Read full post »
AUGUST 11, 2014 11:21PM

Grief Contests

 A Huffington post article described Evan Rachel Wood's tweet "Genie, you're free." as the most heartbeaking tweet about Robin William's death. 

I don't know if I find it poignant. I saw a very similar message from a friend earlier. I think it's sort of cliche that when a celebrity… Read full post »

There is something about the chairs on the deck which bother me.

Maybe because they are the only piece of the house which seemingly has no idea that things have changed. Not that chairs have thought or objects can experience recognition but clearly the windows have been boarded… Read full post »

AUGUST 6, 2014 8:27PM

189: Call Someone Who Cares

It’s so easy to be clever while you’re complaining. Sound exasperated. Word your complaints in a way that induces laughter and head nodding. There are so many reasons to look at the world and say no. To look at the world and… Read full post »

AUGUST 5, 2014 4:47PM

What Wishing Is

“Everything is a miracle. We just have to recognize it.”-Fedrico Fellini

Inside of 189 Sheridan there was an infestation of overgrown house flies. They arrived a few days before the fire. In a season where they shouldn’t have been able to live. They would appear in our rooms, in… Read full post »

AUGUST 3, 2014 7:37PM

189: "Everything is poisoned."

“What?” I asked.

Briefly an imagine of the gigantic flies in our house fucking comes into my mind. Their wings flapping ever so slightly. Their ugly bodies doing the bump and grind originally developed at the Dome in Halifax.  I remember wondering if the flies enjoyed it or… Read full post »

“I don’t know what this feels like.”

I put on the super powered fan that happens to be in the guestroom I’m staying. I don’t want anyone to hear me. I don’t understand that the crying will come with a screaming sound. I’m… Read full post »

Human beings are not born forever on the day that their mothers give birth to them. Rather, life forces them to give birth to themselves time and again. – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Two minutes is around the time it takes to describe the fire after someone asks about it.… Read full post »

So my house burned down.

It was the worst moment of my life. You can read about it in more detail here:

The camera crews were pretty inhumane in the name of their right to cover our tragedy. So I got an… Read full post »

November 20th, 2013:


I debated leaving this at an angry tweet.

Writing it wasn’t easy. Some of my clothes still smell like the fire. Some of the images began as words written on a white screen and became memories I have to tear from my mind. I… Read full post »

JULY 27, 2014 3:49PM

Wars End

Four years ago today a war began.

Not that preparations for the war hadn’t begun years earlier. Sometimes you don’t even notice the first shots being fired. You can ignore a lot when you’re high for most of your adoloscence in order to pretend that peace exists.… Read full post »

 I'll begin the lead up to November 20th and the end of my childhood. May as well start with hope before finding something much more fragile.

 October 18, 2013

 I assume that my emotions are like the weather. Everyone is affected. So when I’m having a good day… Read full post »

JULY 25, 2014 5:19PM

A Love Song No One Writes

I have written a thousand love songs

And none of them were about you

For the longest time I’ve secretly hated you

Blamed you for all the shit that we made it through

You could have saved me, why didn’t you

I spent months missing you… Read full post »

JULY 24, 2014 4:49PM

I Learn How To Cry

I’ve recently developed an emotional muscle called crying. It used to take me years to watch the right someone is dying romantic comedy to feel that spicy itchy tingle in my brain and ejaculate all over my face.

Read full post »
JULY 23, 2014 6:15PM

Going Down The Up Escalator

So there he was.

At the end of a difficult journey pointing at the monster he conquered in the greatest confusion, drunk, stuttering, trying to explain what he had just been through. He was on the Eastbound platform, I was on the Westbound side. The… Read full post »

JULY 19, 2014 5:28PM

How dope can you get

How dope can you get

Ask the junkie as he lights the jets that let him lucid dream

Lucy in the sky with diamonds on the soles of her feet

Dancing to the beat of I am leaving on a jet plane

Don’t… Read full post »

JULY 18, 2014 2:16PM

They Play Music While They Work

One of the most difficult things to admit yourself is that reality is a consensual hallucination.

Mainly because I’m not entirely certain what that means and the phrase has been buzzing through my brain for the last few days and I wanted to write it down and see if… Read full post »

JULY 17, 2014 4:00PM

Part of Something

The sandwich had fried chicken and onions. The side order was fries. There was some type of mayo based spicy sauce.  I may or may not go back. I was not strongly affected one way or the other.

What I might remember, if only because I’m currently writing it… Read full post »

JULY 16, 2014 12:04PM

It won't go away and it shouldn't

It won’t go away and it shouldn’t

Posted on | October 10, 2013 | No Comments

Why do people comfort grieving people by telling them that it will go away?

I’d like to tell them to revel in… Read full post »

JULY 8, 2014 8:44PM

Love is Helpless

To be in love is to be helpless.You can’t feel it without being vulnerable. And it’s going to hurt. A lot.

Our ego is meant to protect us.  It tells you whatever you need to hear to be safe from pain. It’s interesting to note the delusional hatred that… Read full post »

DECEMBER 23, 2012 8:14PM

This is not an Emergency

This Is Not An Emergency

Posted on | December 4, 2012 | 2 Comments

“Sorry. Your crisis isn’t enough for us to keep you,” said the doctor. “This isn’t an emergency.”

Through my time trying to help others… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 25, 2012 9:56PM

The Storm

We are in Halifax at the most awkward Christmas dinner I thought I’d ever experience.

We were all around the table, my brother and sis in law, my dad and my mother and my grandmother who has just finished vomiting at the table from eating more than her stomachRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 25, 2012 9:56PM

The Storm

We are in Halifax at the most awkward Christmas dinner I thought I’d ever experience.

We were all around the table, my brother and sis in law, my dad and my mother and my grandmother who has just finished vomiting at the table from eating more than her stomachRead full post »

FEBRUARY 29, 2012 4:58PM

Too From Heaven For Too Long

Sometimes I think tequila is a good idea.

I once got so drunk on tequila in University, that I came up to my residence room, determined to get back to the party when the world stopped spinning, that I turned up Wu Tang Clan’s Ain’t Nothing To Fuck… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 28, 2012 11:20PM

Mental Illness: The Struggle To Make It Better

On June 28th, 2010 I came out about my experiences with anxiety and depression.

Any employer  can do a Google search and find out about the battles I have fought and how close I came to losing them.

I write to remind myself that the best of what I am came… Read full post »