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Con Chapman

Con Chapman
Location
Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Birthday
September 28
Bio
. . . is the author of over forty books of humor available in print and Kindle format on amazon.com.

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MARCH 2, 2009 9:35PM

Atlanta, Too Busy to Hate, Gives Time Off for Pissy Attitude

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ATLANTA, Georgia.  Atlanta, which survived the tumult of the civil rights era without urban violence, has long prided itself on being "The City Too Busy to Hate".  "I have time for resentment and a little disdain, but I've got three teenagers in the house who keep me busy," says Loretta Fulsom, a lifelong resident.  "Maybe when we've got an empty nest I'll get around to it."

Atlanta, Georgia

That lack of time for hate has now put Atlanta at a tactical disadvantage as the predominantly white, affluent suburbs to the north seek to secede from Fulton County, leaving the city of five million with a diminished revenue base to support municipal services.

Mayor Shirley Franklin:  "I'm a busy woman--I can give you about thirty seconds worth of antipathy--nothing more."

"People all over America found time for hate, and we didn't," says Mayor Shirley Franklin.  "We've got some catching up to do."  Franklin proposes giving municipal employees two personal days a month that could be used for hostility, or intense aversion, with no carry-forward for unused days. 

"You can have this Friday off for some loathing, but I expect to see you back here on Monday." 

The threatened secession would create a new political entity, Milton County, composed of predominantly white suburbs north of Atlanta that are among the most affluent in the nation.  Those cities currently represent 29% of Fulton County's population, but contribute 42% of its property taxes.

MARTA train.

Atlanta and its suburbs to the south are mostly black and its neighborhoods include some of the poorest in the nation.  The city's library, jails and MARTA, its public transit system, are all experiencing financial difficulties.

Marta, hot babe on internet dating site.

Georgia legislators who are pushing the secession proposal deny that the move is racially motivated.  "Maybe if I spent time in their library I could justify paying more than our fair share," said state Rep. Jan Jones, "but I've already read 'Gone With the Wind' so I have no reason to go there."

State Representative Jan Jones:  "I feel as though we're drifting apart."

If the plan is enacted, Mayor Franklin says she expects municipal workers who currently use up all of their accumulated hostility on visitors to City Hall would direct some of their animosity towards residents of the towns that want to break away.  "My momma always said you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar," she notes, "but flies don't pay taxes."

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Jaw dropping. Kind of like peeking through my fingers during the gory part of a slasher film. This scares me but I love it because it's so perfectly done.
You aren't from Atlanta, are you? Have you ever been there? Have you met Shirley Franklin? Can you give your source for her "quotes?"
It's a spoof--see the tags at the bottom.
Yes.....this is definitely a joke about Shirley Franklin....but I will have to admit that there are a lot of white suburbanites who resent having to pay taxes in Fulton county. There is a lot of truth to that. Once there was a Milton County but it ceded to Fulton because of financial issues.

Now that they are doing VERY WELL, they want out because they resent having to pay a larger percentage of their taxes which they fear is filtering to the poorer, black neighborhoods. Whoever says it has nothing to do with race is lying.

It's simple arithmetic.....if you make more money and live in McMansions, there is a sliiiigghhhtttt possibility that you will pay a disproportionate share of taxes than your poorer neighbors living in houses that if they are lucky enough to own probably has a value of less than 100k. One correction.....metro Atlanta has a population of close to 5 mil, which consists of the rinky dink rural city that I reside in....not just the city proper.
Corgilover and Con There may be some race issues in North Atlanta, but I used to live in Roswell and the area that Milton county will comprise includes my former friends and neighbors. That area is fairly well integrated with well-to-do folks of color and I think probably it's an issue of class, not race, and maybe even politics. North Atlanta is overwhelmingly Republican. The Democrats don't even run candidates up there (one reason I moved). They hate that the Atlanta city government is run by liberals. Honestly, I would put it down to that, not race.
Being closer to the situation than I, I assume you're right. My only contact with the city was years ago, when my maternal grandparents lived there. I've always been amused by the slogan "Too Busy to Hate", which is the real inspiration for the piece, however. It's kind of faint self-praise, like--we're prejudiced, but so busy!
Con- thanks for that - I don't blame you for hoisting Atlanta on their own petard - I lived there for 25 years and was always trying to get out! But the one thing that I most appreciated (and miss now in the whitey-tightey mountains) is the taken-for-granted diversity. Some of the wealthiest Atlantans that live in that area are sports and music stars - including Whitney and Bobby when they were still together. I just don't think you can make a huge racial case out of this.
Oh yea, and Shirley Franklin is awesome.
Ardee, I respect your opinion although it is the opposite of mine.
onecorgilover- Likewise. North Atlanta is a big area, and my experience may be drastically different from yours. I just wanted to put my 2 cents in from my viewpoint.
I agree, "Too Busy to Hate" is a pretty odd way to describe a place, as if they had more time... To add my two cents to the differing opinions, my sister lives in Marietta, GA, and says the racism is a subtle thing, but it's there. She wants out too. Hope she doesn't spend 25 years there.
It's subtle--and not so subtle--up north too.
That's for sure. I've lived in upstate NY and now in PDX. Portland is progressive now, but the suburbs and small towns are as far from that as you can get. According to a documentary on OPB, Oregon was the most racist state above the Mason-Dixon line before the civil rights movement.
Oregon? Incredible.
Fulton is the county that contains the city of Atlanta and it is a big long county with high taxes, crappy services, and a corrupt government. What's really happening here is Fulton county has failed to properly support their tax base. The people aren't supposed to work for the government, the government is supposed to work for them. So now an entire section of outraged taxpayers has been forced to give more and more to a county where they recieve little to no services what so ever and they want out! How much of the 42% of total tax revenue do you think is going to provide services for north Fulton? Hardly any. I hope they are able to break away and re-form Milton county. Maybe it will teach the leaders of Fulton county how to manager their money a little better. It shouldn't matter to them or anyone else if the money is coming from someone who is rich or who is poor - they should be frugal, prudent, and respect the tax dollars they collect and provide for everyone as fairly and equally as possible.

As for the people in south and central Fulton who are complaining... how can people expect to continue to recieve services but not have to pay for them out of their own pockets? Fulton is providing services they can't afford in the first place, a big chunk of which is paid for by people who don't or can't use the services. It's pathetic to play the race card on this issue. It's not about race, it's about money. And don't even try to say Atlanta doesn't have opportunities for people because of their race. Atlanta is 61% black and has only 21% poverty, which is pretty average for a big city. If you're poor and black in Atlanta, the only thing holding you back from making something of yourself IS yourself.
Just riffin' on the slogan.