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Con Chapman

Con Chapman
Location
Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Birthday
September 28
Bio
. . . is the author of over forty books of humor available in print and Kindle format on amazon.com.

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2010 8:25AM

Excitement Mounts as First Fall Olympics Approach

Rate: 11 Flag

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind.  This city, which bills itself as "the Amateur Sports Capital of the World," is used to hosting major athletic events, but even blase local sports fans such as DeWayne Harding say they can sense a higher level of excitement now that summer is over.


Indianapolis, or "Indy" to its friends.

"Sure we've had the Final Four and the US Synchronized Swimming Championships," he says as he examines souvenir t-shirts and hats being unpacked by a vendor at the Olympic Village here, "but there's never been a Fall Olympics before, so this is our first first, so to speak."


U.S. Men's Junior Leaf Pile Jumper Tyler Obergson, practicing.

Harding is referring to The Games of the Ist Fall Olympiad, or Fall Olympics for short, which will be held here the first week of October and will feature traditional fall sports such as the standing and running leaf pile jumps, 8 and 12-pound pumpkin put, 100 and 200 meter back-to-school shopping dashes, leaf throw and sychronized leaf pile thrashing, a demonstration sport.


Women's hopeful Verna Lee Cuillard

"It's been a blessing for our little girl," says Myrna Cuillard, whose daughter Verna Lee is expected to lead a strong U.S. women's leaf pile jumping-squad to a possible sweep of gold, silver and bronze medals.  "She's been doing this since she was a teeny-tiny tot, and we've spent thousands of dollars on lessons, a personal trainer and steroids so she could fulfill her dream."


Pumpkin tossing

The lack of an autumn version of the summer and winter games has meant that athletes such as Tyler Obergson, the Junior Men's AAU leaf pile-jumping champion, have had no place to go but sideways if they wanted to compete at higher levels after they'd outgrown backyard contests.  "I could go into the so-called 'skip 'n wave' show circuit like Leaf Capades," he says with obvious distate, "but I've been trained to compete and win, not flit around in a Disney costume."


Leaf Capades

Olympic officials have not promised that there will be a second Fall Games in 2014, and will watch attendance figures and TV ratings closely to determine whether the concept is viable.  "It is vitally important that fall games be economically sustainable," said International Olympics Committee President Jacques Rogge.  "Also, it helps to bribe committee members with call girls, expensive liquor and cars."

Author tags:

olympics, autumn, fall, satire, comedy, spoof, humor

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I thought Poughkeepsie has clinched the Fall Games this year????
"Pumpkin put" and "Leaf Capades". Hilarious.
Poughkeepsie put in a bid, but they didn't get their Leaf Blower Stadium finished in time.
Count me in for the leaf jumping!
And ceremonies start with torching of the piles.
. . . and the singing of "Autumn Leaves."
Pooh! Cats can't participate. : (
Very silly post!
Best Wishes,
Blittie
You forgot the iconic and beautiful apple-bobbing. R
Apple-bobbing was canceled because of widespread doping allegations.
My money is on the Canadians for the most golds.
Will the Americans beat the Canadians this time? R-
I want to enter pumpkin tossing in the 2014 games.
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