WASHINGTON, D.C.  It is the latest variation on a “meme” that has gone through numerous permutations in just a short period of time; first S**t Girls Say, then S**t White Girls Say and S**t Goys Say.  “I guess we’re always the last to hear about things,” says Gary Dwinnel, incoming president of the American Society of Actuaries, whose headquarters is located here.  “People make a big mess, then they want us to count how many pieces they broke something into.”

But S**t Actuaries Say has brought some much-deserved attention to the oft-neglected profession whose tried-and-true methods enable them to keep track of things that bore others to tears, from the effect of higher gas prices on the cost of pet food to the number of hyphens in this sentence.

It’s all part of a makeover for a profession that some say is in need of new blood.  “Podcasts and MP3 downloads of actuarial tables allow members to sit in high-end coffee shops and pretend to be cool, just like hipster wannabe novelists,” says internal marketing advisor Jane Sweetin, who came up with the organization’s new, edgier motto “Risk is opportunity,” which she had tattooed just above the “spot on my back where my legs begin,” she says demurely.

Actuarial humor

The S**t Actuaries Say Video includes such self-deprecating shots as “Have you adjusted for inflation?” and “What discount rate are you using?” spoken by a petulant, somewhat whiny male actuary played by Tina Stearns in drag.  “Can I get professional development credit for this?” she says with a hopeful expression as the video closes with her crowd-surfing at a Nicki Minaj concert.

An actuary is a business professional who deals with the financial impact of risk and uncertainty.  "In a lot of peoples' minds an actuary is an accountant without the personality, but we’re starting to fight back on that,” says outgoing ASA President William Motta.  “Lots of actuaries were accountants first, and they didn’t have personalities to begin with.”