The Thing From Bloggy Swamp

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Con Chapman

Con Chapman
Location
Boston, Massachusetts, US of A
Birthday
September 28
Bio
. . . is a frequent contributor to The Boston Herald, Cronk News, Fictionique and Punchnel's.

Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 10, 2012 12:39PM

The Olympics Corrections Department

Rate: 6 Flag

Former Olympic kayaker Chris Barlow said that NFL player Darren Sproles would likely be a good kayaker.  An Olympics-pages article Saturday incorrectly attributed the comment to former Olympic kayaker Greg Barton, and incorrectly implied that the commenter used the term "pipsqueak" to describe Sproles.  In addition, jiu jitsu was the predecessor of judo, contrary to the statement in the article that judo was the predecessor of jiu jitsu.

                                                                        The Wall Street Journal

An article in the August 3rd edition of Sports Illustrated incorrectly stated that the shot used in Olympic shot put events is approximately the size of Danny DeVito.  Mr. DeVito is slightly larger than a bowling ball.  Sports Illustrated regrets its error.


Separated at birth?

A column by sexologist Dr. Ruth Westheimer in the July edition of Cosmopolitan falsely implied that Ryan Lochte's mother was acting as his "wingman" in soliciting dates for him at the Olympic Village in London.  Mrs. Lochte is female, and was acting as a "wingwoman."


The resemblance is striking.

A review of Olympic coverage in the August 1st edition of TV Guide referred to broadcaster Bob Costas as the "love child of Dick Clark and Debbie Reynolds."  DNA testing has confirmed that Ernie the Keebler elf is the father of Mr. Costas.  TV Guide apologizes for any inconvenience.

In the July 24th edition of Investor's Daily the special pull-out section devoted to the Games of the XXXth Olympiad quoted former boxing gold medalist Sugar Ray Leonard as saying that ribbon dancing is a "wussy" sport.  Mr. Leonard's publicist has informed us that Mr. Leonard said "pussy sport."

In women's beach volleyball a "technical time-out" is stipulated by the Federation Internationale de Volleyball in each non-tie-breaking set.  A sidebar summary of the rules of the sport in the August edition stated that time-outs in beach volleyball were allowed only in the case of wedgies.  Penthouse regrets its error.

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humor, spoof, comedy, satire, olympics

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Comments

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So many Olympic "sports" are beyond comprehension... if competitions were reduced to coherent participation we could trim the whole thing down to one week including the opening and closing ceremonies... but then there's bowling and BMX???
We need candlepin bowling--not just the big pins!
Red Flag? You be deported?
The Judge Send You To Beach.
You Ordered To Wear Bikini?

No. You wear black bear rug.
Olympics Youth Skinny Swim.
Con C. Wear Purple Panties.
`
Wear Under Bear Skin Hide.
`
Invite Judge Scalia To View.
He carry M- 16 Assault Riffle.
He be Con Chapman's Guard.
`
You'll be safe?
Banker looks.
Banker hire.
`
You be bear banker.
Steal Loot from Bears.
Buy Polar Bear Beers.
I couldn't have said it better myself. Depending on what the meaning of "it" is.
Right where I thought you would be.
In front of the television.


BASIC
Hart
A tree grows in Columbia, no treat its leaf.
In Milwaukee, Samson the ape hurt his knuckles.
In Pittsburgh the bus left the hollow.
In Santa Clara the wind whispered Mary.
In San Pablo the children hid from the night.
Over the rainbow palms sweated.
On the intersilkweb the music played 10th Ave Freeze Out.
Today, the poet rescued two kitties, one for each hand.
The Chamber of Commerce was undecided what to do with
the turpentine, so they went to the $Haven, for spare buckets.
Red plants were harvested. Harry Helo went to the CVS and bought a plastic basket of vitamins, counted the days ahead, and donated the rest, to the children for school, thinking of Wonder bread, and Timbuktu.

rating withheld
what am I a meat
inspector?
Had to go to two grocery stores this morning to find Wonder Bread. That's how far I'll go in my commitment to art.
If it weren't for the "wedgie time out" there wouldn't be any beach volleyball.
And I think the Keebler Elf would do a better job than Costas.
Olympic is end today but fun will go on.

Thank You
Research Team Lead
bonzai herbal incense
You get the gold for this one Con.
........(¯`v´¯) (¯`v´¯)
☼•*¨`*•.¸.(ˆ◡ˆ).¸.•*
............... *•.¸.•* ♥⋆★•❥ Thanx & Smiles (ツ) & ♥ L☼√Ξ ☼ ♥
⋆───★•❥ ☼ .¸¸.•*`*•.♥ (ˆ◡ˆ) ♥⋯ ❤ ⋯ ★(ˆ◡ˆ) ♥⋯ ❤ ⋯ ★R
Is it real gold? Hold it up to your screen so I can bite it.