She’s never too bloated to eat a Slim Jim.
She never showers before taking a swim.
She belches loudly at the Pizza Hut–
That’s why the lady is a slut.
She’s not the type to play bridge at her club.
Doesn’t like salads, preferring a sub.
If she were a dog you’d call her a mutt–
That’s why the lady is a slut.
She likes the free, fresh wind in her hair
As she dares
To drive getaway, it’s okay.
She hates New England, ‘cause it’s cold and it’s damp–
That’s why the lady is a tramp.
She doesn’t like opera, and hates the ballet–
If a flick’s got subtitles, it isn’t okay.
Won’t do Pilates and it shows in her gut–
That’s why the lady is a slut.
Her blue eye shadow says she’s a bimbo.
When she screams at you her arms are akimbo.
An old boyfriend’s name’s tattooed on her butt–
That’s why the lady is a slut.
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Don Rich
Ken Honeywell
noah tawls
littlewillie
Damon E Walters
Matt Paust
Salon.com
Comments
His light is never dim,
He makes me giggle, he's quite the nut!
That's why he's known as Chapman Uncut!
Cock your hat - angles are attitudes.
Frank Sinatra
HUGGGGGGGGGG
Do come again!
Do you have a refrain?
Or does your rhyme just putt putt?
slurps linquine
she tries to sneak in at four
won't fit through the door
she flies by night
never travels light
she thinks she's a bunny
tells me Chapman's funny
her money's spent
she don't pay no rent
she lounges in sweats
looses when she bets
she sleeps till noon
then back to a saloon
that's why
she howls at the moon
twirls spaghetti on her spoon
she won't press my tuxedo
flirts with a guy named Guido
she never listens to Mozart
makes me toast the pop tart
never worked for a living
her favorite holiday
Thanksgiving
she gnaws the drumstick,
the white meat,
says hold the garbage,
her whiskey neat
she struggles into spandex
emails a cowboy called Tex
she's on a see food eat it diet
when she jiggle dances
she starts a riot
r