The Thing From Bloggy Swamp

"Music is real--the rest is scenery." Fats Waller

Con Chapman

Con Chapman
Boston, Massachusetts, US of A
September 28
. . . is the author of over fifty books--some with paper!--available on and elsewhere.

OTTUMWA, Iowa. It’s taken Elaine Snyder the better part of two years to make it here, to approximately the half-way point in her trek across America, but she says she’s going to keep going until she finishes what she’s started. “We certainly admire all the folks from the rig… Read full post »

LADUE, Missouri. In this fashionable suburb of St. Louis, a fashion faux pas can set a woman’s advancement back years, even decades, according to local social historians. “Eloise Buchter wore open-toed shoes to a winter gala in 1917,” notes Sandra Day-Sneff, author of a three-volume… Read full post »

BOSTON. The Boston Marathon, the world’s oldest annual marathon, attracts runners from around the world every Patriot’s Day, a holiday on the third Monday in April that serves as an excuse for local bureaucrats to take the day off. “Running Boston is my dream,” says Ngtmbe Jpk… Read full post »

An article on Monday about Kirsten Lindsmith, a college student with Asperger syndrome who is navigating the perils of an intimate relationship, misidentified the character from the animated children’s TV show “My Little Pony” that she visualized to cheer herself up. It is Twilight… Read full post »

It’s Friday–the day I’ve been dreading for two weeks since bombing a pop quiz in Jazz 101 at Carl Yastrzemski State College. I got a D+ for mixing up Fats Navarro with Fats Waller and spacing out on “Where or When: Compare and contrast.” That means I’ve got to get… Read full post »

     Farrah Fawcett’s red bathing suit and a poster bearing her image have been donated to the Smithsonian.

             The Boston Herald

As I herded my class of seventh-grade boys from Ryan O’Neal C… Read full post »

HARARE, Zimbabwe. Inflation has ravaged this landlocked country in southeastern Africa for decades, but recent events have surprised even hardened observers such as Zkanu Nkomo (pronounced “Jim Smith”). “I asked the man at the store how much he charged for a cup of mukaka wakakora (… Read full post »

WASHINGTON, D.C. Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen warned Congress yesterday that a speculative bubble in over-priced sports “tchotchkes” threatens the nation’s fragile recovery from the crash that followed a run-up in housing prices, and could hamper more tasteful decorating sche… Read full post »

I bought it with my tax refund, a rendering in violet blues, greys,
deep greens and indigo of the winter sun going down over a hedge.
It gave me peace to look upon it, especially on those hopeless days
when I’d leave home and return in the dark, fulfilling my pledge


to wife… Read full post »

“When the hounds of spring are on winter’s traces,” wrote Swinburne, “The mother of months in meadow or plain/Fills the shadows and windy places/With lisp of leaves and ripple of rain”? And who are you or I to gainsay that sentiment, however loaded it may be with hissing… Read full post »

In 1969, the first message was successfully sent over the ARPANET, the predecessor to the internet. Four and a half decades later, the internet has developed into one of the greatest advances in human history, freeing up human capital wasted on actual labor and diverting it to fantasy football league… Read full post »

FRAMINGHAM, Mass. Morton “Mort” Spiksa, a lawyer who came to be known as the “Poet of Terms and Conditions,” died last night after a brief illness at Gino Cappelletti Memorial Hospital. He was seventy-eight.

“Mort really had a way with words,” said Norton Oswald,… Read full post »

APRIL 13, 2014 10:34AM

Barbie at the Double-Nickel

2014 is Barbie’s 55th anniversary–news item.

I looked out the window of my Dream House and allowed myself a teensy-tiny moment of reflection. How far I’d come in fifty-five years! It seemed like only yesterday I was born, fully-developed, in a secret test lab deep within the bowels o… Read full post »

APRIL 12, 2014 5:21PM

At the Vatican-UFO Summit

In a departure from its traditional position that the earth is the only inhabited planet, the Vatican has consulted experts on the possibility of extraterrestrial life.

The Boston Herald

Even though I’ve been instructed never to disturb the Pope when he’s watching “Star Trek”… Read full post »

APRIL 11, 2014 8:37PM

Get Off My Lawn

I’ve reached the age at which I find
I value most my peace of mind
And for my mind to be at peace
I sometimes have to be unkind.

When I lie down to take a nap
I’m not inclined to hear some crap
about the coming fall of Greece
or some place hard to find on… Read full post »

APRIL 11, 2014 8:01AM

Ode to Tautology

The Morning Star looks like the Evening Star,
a B# sounds like a C.
My unmarried brother’s a bachelor–
They’re pretty much the same to me.

I travelled to visit Grant’s Tomb
to see who was buried there
I ate a hoagie, a sub and a grinder–
a lot of food, but I didn’t care.… Read full post »

BOSTON. For many years one of the most visited sites in this city full of tourist attractions was Filene’s Basement, the off-price retailer where men’s and women’s clothes that other stores couldn’t sell were displayed without ceremony and sold at deep discounts. “It ap… Read full post »

It’s all your fault,” I said as my fiancee peeled the lids back from my eyeballs, dessicated from the diuretic effects of too many beers, gin and tonics (or is it “gins and tonic”?), martinis and something called a “Zombie,” a high octane cocktail that came in a mu… Read full post »

APRIL 9, 2014 9:11PM

Trapping for Poetesses

In these days . . . so many ingenious traps for catching and hamstringing female poets have been invented that it is a rare editor who ever really sees one.

H.L. Mencken, Memoirs of an Editor

I set a snare before the door
of a shoppe that brewed its coffee… Read full post »

APRIL 9, 2014 12:10PM

Maisie Dear

Maisie dear, I can’t forget her–
I only wish her poems were better.
If they partook of lyricism
there’d be no reason for our schism,
but it’s too bad, that won’t be happening
because her lines are all quite sappening.

Me, by contrast, I write junk
to lift a poetessa&rs… Read full post »

To promote its experimental color television system CBS sold tickets to a closed-circuit broadcast of pieces of Swiss cheese and bologna.

Lush Life, David Hajdu

Enrico Caruso

As the fateful day on which we would attempt to broadcast sounds over invisible “radio waves” approached, w… Read full post »

Evelyn Waugh gave Edith Sitwell a pocket air-raid siren, which she would set off when people asked her whether free verse is more truly poetic than rhymed.

The Letters of Nancy Mitford & Evelyn Waugh

Edith Sitwell

As I turned the lock on the vault at the First Third Short… Read full post »

DROBZGYNI, Freedonia. Pro-Russian demonstrations in this, the capital of Freedonia, turned violent yesterday as angry crowds pelted the Ministry of Tubers with the pelts of weasels, the animal that appears on the nation’s currency.

Statue of Bloznar Ubtrecht, benevolent dictator duringRead full post »

APRIL 8, 2014 8:04AM

Fallen Women 101

A group of 50 academics has urged the Rhode Island legislature not to ban indoor prostitution, which is legal in that state.… Read full post »