The Thing From Bloggy Swamp

"Music is real--the rest is scenery." Fats Waller

Con Chapman

Con Chapman
Location
Boston, Massachusetts, US of A
Birthday
September 28
Bio
. . . is the author of over fifty books--some with paper!--available on amazon.com and elsewhere.

MY RECENT POSTS

APRIL 27, 2011 8:09AM

Biz One-Upmanship 101

Stephen Potter, a British humorist who has undeservedly faded into obscurity, is the father of "one-upmanship," a strategem for besting an opponent--somewhat unfairly--without actually cheating. 

One accomplishes this by throwing an opponent off his game without violating any

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Editor’s Pick
APRIL 25, 2011 8:46AM

Trump: Obama Failed Ivy League Swim Tests

NEW YORK.  Encouraged by polls showing him leading a crowded pack of Republican presidential contenders, businessman Donald Trump turned up the heat on the incumbent yesterday, saying there is no evidence Obama passed swim tests at the two Ivy League institutions he attended.


"

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APRIL 24, 2011 4:24PM

Your Love Ob/Gyn

A few years back I celebrated the 50th anniversary of my rhythm 'n blues addiction.  The starting point was my purchase of a Ray Charles album in 1959.  At the time, "LP's" as they were known to hip DJ's, cost $3.98--not including tax.  I accumulated this enormous stash of c

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APRIL 23, 2011 1:34PM

One for the Ages

It was 1984, that foreboding year, I now
  recall.  You were in the hospital,
  your cat having snagged your nail.
It appeared you might lose your finger. 
I was there with you, even though we weren’t

 

  boyfriend/girlfriend anymore.
You had a TV in yoRead full post »

APRIL 23, 2011 10:40AM

Magnets and You--or Me

“He who controls magnetism, controls the world” said Diet Smith, a character in the Dick Tracy comic strip when I was a boy.  Smith was the inventor of Dick’s two-way wrist radio, a precursor to cell phones and those groovy new Blue Tooth sunglasses that have a phone in the

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK.  Francis Albert "Frank" Sinatra, a popular singer whose voice transcended categorization, died for a second time here last night.  He was 95.

Sinatra began his career during the "swing" era, performing with the Harry James and Tommy Dorsey big bands.  He bec… Read full post »

CHICAGO.  As a security guard tightens the lock around the chain-link gates of Snyder's Novelties here on the city's South Side, a grown man standing nearby begins to weep.  "It was the best job I ever had," says Willie Newbill, who moved to the Windy City from Mississippi i

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Have you ever wondered how the rich get richer while you fall further behind on your credit cards and the German shepherd you bought to keep the repo men away from your jet ski eventually leaves you for the woman down at the other end of the trailer park who

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APRIL 20, 2011 8:22AM

Sapphic Blues: The Boy in the Boat

     Here's evidence that there's no aspect of eros that the blues hasn't covered.  Vocal by George Hannah, piano by Meade Lux Lewis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9GPI48p4SQ

Now, did you ever hear the story 'bout that boy in the boat,
Don't wear no shoes… Read full post »

APRIL 19, 2011 10:16PM

Walt Whitman, Census Taker

(on reading Whitman’s Election Day, November, 1884
after filling out the 2010 census form)

If I should need to name, O Census Bureau, your power-

         fulest question of them all,

‘Twould be “How many rooms do you have in this house,

 

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Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, who grew up in poverty on Chicago’s South Side, signed a contract to write an autobiography for a $1.35 million advance.  He stumbled in office initially, failing to win approval of legalized gambling, spending $27,000 in taxpayers’ money toRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 19, 2011 8:17AM

Columnist Uses Polygamy to Keep Anecdotes Flowing

KANSAS CITY, Mo.  It's 6:30 p.m., and Anson Myers has a looming deadline for the thrice-weekly column he writes for the Kansas City Star.  He hasn't written a word yet, but he doesn't appear nervous.


"How about a new bike story?  You haven't done one of those for mont

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(the product of Walt Whitman too much reading)

Off of the train, endlessly rocking,

He threw his mother a kiss.

Be not afraid, dear mother he said.

Your wounds are merely syntactical.

Your frame is scrambled with subject post object,

An adjective stuck in between.

 

 

Went they

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BOSTON.  The Boston Marathon is the world's oldest annual marathon, and one that attracts runners from around the world every Patriot's Day, a holiday on the third Monday in April that serves as an excuse for local bureaucrats to take the day off.  "Running Boston is my dream," says N

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APRIL 17, 2011 2:03PM

Among the Drunken Lab Mice

          A proposal to study drunken mice received $8,400 in federal stimulus funding. 

                           

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WASHINGTON, D.C.  Combining two of his passions--beach volleyball and politics--potential Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich sought to burnish his foreign policy credentials today with the announcement of a professional league in Iraq for the fast-growing sport.

 
"

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CHICAGO.  Mayor-elect Rahm Emanuel, known for a hot temper that sometimes erupts in nude locker room outbursts, said today he will consider selling O'Hare International Airport to pay for anger management therapy.


"Are you talkin' to me?"

"I'm just like anybody else, I guess," said

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WASHINGTON, D.C. The U.S. federal income tax system depends on voluntary compliance by hundreds of millions of citizens, a fact that isn't lost on Lois Lerner, director of the IRS's exempt-organizations office.


"Don't use your credit card.  Put it on your home equity line--it's deductibl

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WASHINGTON, D.C.  Confronted with video evidence that he nodded off during the President's speech last night, Vice President Biden defended himself saying that most Americans find it hard to remain awake when the subject turns to the federal budget.

 
"z-z-z-z-z-budget-z-z-z-z"

"My j

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WASHINGTON.  The Obama administration scrambled to put its spin on numbers out today that reveal a sharp jump in new filings of unemployment claims, saying the increase was due to "normal seasonal firings of professional hockey coaches."


"Frankly, with the kind of year the Wild had,

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Editor’s Pick
APRIL 12, 2011 7:52AM

IRS Gets New Blood With Teen Tax Talent Search

KANSAS CITY, Mo.  This Midwestern city lies close to both the population and geographic centers of the United States, and at this time of the year it is ground zero for another subject that is close to the heart of America--taxes.


Kansas City, Mo., regional IRS Center

"We're li

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Editor’s Pick
APRIL 8, 2011 9:32AM

Shrinx: Beantown May Be Jonestown if Sox Don't Win Soon

BOSTON.  Public mental health officials say this town, which has an obsessive relationship with its major league baseball franchise, could be headed for a tragedy with a scope not seen since the mass suicide by cult followers of messianic evangelist Jim Jones if the Red Sox don't win

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HOLLYWOOD.  Anxious California residents breathed a sigh of relief yesterday after seismologists at Stanford University confirmed a tremor that registered 3.6 on the Richter scale Tuesday night was tied to overweight actress Kirstie Alley's fall on "Dancing With the Stars."


Look out

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APRIL 7, 2011 10:21PM

I'm So Glad

The boy had decided he needed to sell his music equipment—the p.a. system, his amp, his compact organ.  His band had broken up and wasn’t going to get back together.  He was leaving town at the end of the summer, to where exactly he didn’t know yet.

He put an

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AUGUSTA, Georgia.  The hallowed Augusta National golf course is a flurry of activity as play began in the 75th Masters Tournament today.  “I got a good lie on the 18th,” said reigning champ Phil Mickelson of his opening round.  “Then I went in the clubhouse and

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