The Thing From Bloggy Swamp

"Music is real--the rest is scenery." Fats Waller

Con Chapman

Con Chapman
Boston, Massachusetts, US of A
September 28
. . . is the author of over fifty books--some with paper!--available on and elsewhere.


As you turn the page on 2010 and look ahead to the coming year, you may be asking yourself--what exactly do I get for all the taxes I'm going to owe come April 15th?  Where does my money go, except to pay for bailouts, interstate highways, aircraft carriers and assorted underassistant

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INDIANAPOLIS.  Indiana State Police say they have arrested two computers assigned to Bowl Championship Series details following a "sting" operation in which undercover agents offered to trade sex and additional memory for improved BCS rankings.

"Oh yes, that's it, right t

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DECEMBER 31, 2010 3:57PM

The Darker Waters Are Deeper

The deeper waters are darker,
The shallows a paler hue.
The sky is blackest at midnight,
White-tinged when evening is through.


You, as you drifted downwards,
Grew paler—perhaps from the cold.
The floor of the sea no light can reach,
By no heat were you consoled.

The darker wate

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DECEMBER 31, 2010 1:31PM

Eleven Hot Jobs for '11

Unemployment is stubbornly high, which means more competition for jobs in the want ads.  Here are some little-known professions that economists predict will experience high wage levels and robust growth next year.

          &nbsRead full post »

She will mourn for each mosquito
Slap’d upon a sunburnt arm.



She’d prefer you not eat Fritos—
They can do you grievous harm.



She will think you laugh too loudly
When you pass through public places.



She’ll reflecRead full post »

BOSTON.  Linda Giljemi is a self-described "serial entrepreneur," having started, built and sold two dating services before she turned 35.  "I just love bringing people together" she says with the warm smile that endears her to customers.  "I love making money, too," she adds, "but aft… Read full post »

          In an effort to soften their stuffy image, dancers from the Boston Ballet performed at halftime of a Boston Celtics game. 


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Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 28, 2010 5:21AM

Homeland Security Targets Shriners as Terrorist Group

WASHINGTON, D.C. The Department of Homeland Security has taken the first official steps to place the Shriners, a fraternal organization that uses Arabian motifs in its costumes and rituals, on its "Specially Designated Nationals" list, a move that would severely circumscribe the

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DECEMBER 27, 2010 7:45AM

At the Brooks Brothers Hip Hop Summit

          In recent years, rap kings such as Jay-Z and Diddy have displayed their swagger with looks that were more boardroom than bling. 


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DECEMBER 26, 2010 8:47PM

A Guy's Guide to Figure Skating

You know, eventually, the day will come. 

It's the dead of winter.  You live in a four-sport town, but your football team didn't make the playoffs, your NBA franchise is playing for the lottery and your local hockey team seems to trot out the heroes of the Stanley Cup squad

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DECEMBER 23, 2010 9:09PM

To an Unlikely Muse

Like a seawall, you impede incoming tides of my words
And thus resist my swells, keeping the home whole, and dry.
There are bills to pay, and so I must go back out to sea
And be a fisher there for the daily catch of drudgery.


You are indifferent, I think, to

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DECEMBER 23, 2010 8:15PM

Frank Morgan, Jazz Lazarus

Scott Fitzgerald famously asserted that "There are no second acts in American lives."  Fitzgerald never met Frank Morgan.

Fitzgerald and Morgan:  Apparently, they never met.

Morgan, who would have been 77 today had he not died three years ago this month, was a self-

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DECEMBER 22, 2010 9:25PM

Your Holiday Gift Advisor

Selecting the perfect gift for a friend or family member is a sign that you care for them in a very special way.  Your Holiday Gift Advisor is here to help you find just the right present to make this holiday season a memorable one.

In happier times.

Dear Holiday Gift Advi

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DECEMBER 22, 2010 7:40AM

Your Body's a Family-Oriented Theme Park

(after Disney Parks® Acquires the Rights to a Certain Grammy Award-Winning Song)


We got the afternoon--

  we got a room for four.

One thing I've left to do--

  recover me

from standing in the Space Mountain line from ten to three.



One hour for

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DECEMBER 21, 2010 1:48PM

Sharpton: ATMs Give Whites More Money

NEW YORK.  At 56 years old, civil rights personality Al Sharpton might be expected to slow down a bit from the frenetic pace he has kept over the years, finding racism in every nook and cranny of American society.  "I was having a Thomas' English Muffin in the student union

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HOLMESFORD, Va.  Eric Forschberg is laying in the snacks and beer at his comfortable ranch home in this town of 14,000 because he is celebrating a double anniversary of sorts tonight.  "I was twelve when I became a football fan in 1972," says the 50-year-old telemarketer, "the same ye

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DECEMBER 20, 2010 9:43PM

To the Ribald Friends of My Youth

Now that they’re nearly gone from my mind
I recall my friends from another time
Whose insights into the nature of eros
Made them--to my boyish ken--heroes.


First was a boy named Burlingame,
Wild of surmise with a wavy orange mane,
Who swore that he would never bed
His feminine counterp

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NEOSHO, Mo.  This city in southwest Missouri sits smack dab in the middle of "Tornado Alley", a well-worn path taken by twisters as they rotate out of Oklahoma into the Kansas City area.  "I thought tornadoes were a fairy tale, like the Wizard of Oz," says Southwest Missouri Teacher's Coll

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Be My Christmas Bitch, Baby, by Chris Brown (Audio CD - 2010)

Buy new: $24.98 $10.99 15 Used from $7.97 Usually ships in 9 to 14 days Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping. 3.6 out of 5 stars (20)

 Product Details

Chris Brown follows up on his 2007 holiday smash "This Christmas" with a collection of Yu… Read full post »

HOLLYWOOD.  Barbra Streisand, who already has two best-selling Christmas albums on her resume, says she is surprised by the warm reception her latest holiday release--"A Traditional Jewish Christmas"--is getting from fans both old and new.

Streisand's "Christmas Memories"


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WASHINGTON, D.C.  Time Magazine today named Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg its "Person of the Year," touching off a tirade by rapper Kanye West that crashed the popular social media website.

Zuckerberg:  "Maybe you could make him a co-winner or something."

“We chose Mr. Zuck

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DECEMBER 16, 2010 8:32AM

Zydrunas' Complaint: Where's My Parade?

MIAMI.  The Miami Heat are on a roll, having won ten straight games after last night's 101-95 victory over the Cleveland Cavaliers.  "The Dream Team is finally hitting on all cylinders," says season ticket holder Mike Doltzmeier of Hollywood, Florida, referring to the self-select

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DECEMBER 15, 2010 8:56AM

A Public Option for Cats?

We had finished dinner and I was hoping to relax and watch some TV when my wife stopped me on the way to the couch.

"We need to talk," she said in a somber tone--never a good sign when you hear that.

"About what?"

"Expenses--I can't believe the bills

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DECEMBER 14, 2010 8:46PM

The Water Tower

The water tower stood at the edge of town
   and from its height few had looked down
   except that every other year or so, a high school senior
   would go and climb the thing, and paint something
   vapid, jejune, as the spinster English teacher would say.

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MINNEAPOLISSTPAUL, Minn.  A blast of unseasonably cold air from Canada whipped through Minnesota last night, causing a "force five" static cling warp that fused Minneapolis and St. Paul, two formerly separate cities on opposite banks of the Mississippi River.

What God hath joined together
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