Yeah, it's the old P-BEM!
So, me and the Younger were having dinner last night - no, I didn't cook this time. (sigh - I guess I must take a step back in the recounting of this tale.)
The Emo/Scene one says, "I don't want Prime Rib! I want McDonald's! Why can't you ever get what I want!" at the top of her lungs when I came home and said my very first sentence to her - I hadn't picked anything up - "How's about we go over to Roast Haus (small plate, prime rib, corned beef, turkey or tri tip + taters or rice + salad or corn or whatever = about $10)? "
Attempting to hew to my new Family Rule (don't scream back; do not engage; avert your eyes and speak calmly), I say, "Okay, then," and quietly shut her door.
Me and the littler one (by 14 months! god help me) head out the door. We're noshing (yummyummy) and chatting. She runs through the litany of Hell in the Seventh Grade and says that she keeps getting teased over confusing "quiz" with "test". (It's a busy time, she's had nonstop quizzes and tests since coming back this week - Geography yesterday, Math today, Vocabulary Friday.) And on a daily basis she says Quiz instead of Test, of vice versa, and gets teased.
Now, no matter the advice I give her, the child will not listen. Number 1 - it's a stupid thing to be teased for, so the key is her reaction. If she had none, or laughed it off, it would go away! There are of course Nos. 2 and 3, etc., but since she doesn't listen, I opt for humor.
"Hey, next time you want to reference one of those, um, events, call it a P-BEM."
"Huh?"
"You know (and do it just this way, too) - duh - a Paper Based Evaluation Module. And say it like they're supposed to have heard that before. Just try it."
"You're weird, Mom."
"What?"
"You're weird."
"I am?"
"... Paper Based...."
"Evaluation Module."
"Hm."
"Come on! If they tease you for being stoopid, you can tease them back by being funny. And obscure. And slightly smarter than the World."
"Hmm..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Author's Notes:
1. Little Miss Emo/Scene ate old noodles in her room. And apologized. Unprompted.
2. We'll find out tonight if Tweener the Younger had the guts to try out the weird thing her old lady taught her.]
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Tiffany Brubeck
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Comments
(rated for EB-LA)
I'll be thinkin good thoughts, more macaroni & cheese please!
Karin Rego - be more evil. Keep making your jokes. It just KILLS them when they laugh. And they will laugh. Their laughter is your vengeance.
and to you, we have similar nightly episodes in this house. although, they happen in the form of a single Tween who sometimes morphs into Little Miss Emo. And then, you get today, when she called from school to tell me about a cancelled after-school program, "Mommy..."
I like your attitude toward the roller-coaster.
Tweener will not try the new thing out because it came from you. But somewhere deep in the little brain there is now embedded the thought that you tried. This is good.
Kid 2: I'm ignoring you.
Kid 1: You can't ignore me.
Kid 2: Yes, I can.
Kid 1 sticks out her tongue.
Kid 2: No fair!
Kid 1 waggles stuck out tongue.
Kid 2: Mom! She's sticking her tongue out at me.
Mom: Just ignore her.
Kid 2: (Loudly) I'm ignoring you.
Kid 1: That doesn't work.
Kid 2: (even louder) I'm ignoring you.
Kid 1: You can't ignore me, ha, ha, ha!
Kid 2: Mom! I tried ignoring her but it didn't work.
Great post. Love the Teasing Hurts but It's Funny As Hell poster. I want to own that and put it on my wall forever and ever.