Los Angeles, CA: Shots were fired in an apparent “Writers” vs Writers war on Open Salon Monday. The first casualty was Los Angeles resident Joe Shit the Rag Man. The debate, apparently started by Ken Honeywell, rages over “who is a real writer and who is not” on Open Salon. Comments ranging from humorous to bitter rang out all day on Honeywell’s blog entry ”What We Write About When We Write About Writing”.
Honeywell started the melee by waving his 1099 tax statement around yelling “SEE! SEE! Right here: it says Writer. No asterisks! Got it!” Honeywell struck Cranky Cuss in the face with the 1099, stunning him for a few moments. Cuss was right back at his keyboard posting The Longest Comment Of All. More shots were fired on Monday night as Caitlin Kelly posted “Ten Things "Real" Writers Do”.
“ I appreciated Ms. Kelly’s writing tips, but did she have to add the quote marks to the word writer?” said the Ragman, who lives behind the blue dumpster at 3rd and Spring Street. “I read her blog all the time, she’s in my faves for crying out loud! Why does she need to tell me she’s a professional?”
the Ragman who is “just a blogger, not a writer,” was being treated by paramedics for a sucking chest wound from Honeywell’s first shots when Kelly’s volley hit him in the groin, shoving his testicles into his abdomen. “I’ve been injured worse than this. Safe_Bets Amy once deleted a comment of mine. Now that took some healing time and a lot of therapy! I’ll be back up and posting on OS in no time. You just hide and watch.” Joe Shit the Ragman posts on OS from a stolen iPhone.
“If she had just left it with the writing tips these guys wouldn’t have to be digging around pulling my balls out. It was the comments. The comments dammit!” he said while wincing in pain. “I didn’t think she needed to take that pot shot at Cindy Ross, either.”
the Ragman appeared confused and let down as he slipped into a drug induced coma. “It’s just a meeting place to bounce ideas off each other,” finishing his sentence with his favorite phrase, “for crying out loud!” People get so wound up about these stupid fucking titles. Christ! I mean jeez! Can’t pros mingle with amateurs without everybody getting so butt hurt? And what's wrong with “. . . hand-wringing, hank-clutching "OMG, My feelings!!!!!!" stuff that (over) populates this site,” What the hell was that “And So It Was Cancer” epic that Ken Honeywell wrote, if not hand wringing? For crying out loud. I read nearly all of it, and will buy the hardback first edition if I find a wallet in the alley where I live.
Do we really need to piss in a circle like fucking dogs? Everybody acts like this shit’s for real or something.”