With Christmas and the accompanying Bible-centric shows featured on PBS and basic cable last week, I’ve found myself contemplating the Bible again. Here are a few recent ponderings:
- If Satan and God were to replay their wager from the Book of Job, could think of a more deserving test subject then the pious George W. Bush?
- Let me get this straight: God is the supernatural being responsible for goodness and Satan is the supernatural being responsible for leading humankind astray and tempting us into acts of evil. Yet, Christianity is monotheistic? Hmmmm….
- Speaking of the Devil, he seems kind of passive-aggressive for the Prince of Darkness, dontcha think? I mean the last time Satan directly confronted God (that we know of) was when he tempted Jesus in the wilderness for 40 days. But for the last 2000 years he’s been trying to piss off God not by engaging him directly, but by provoking humans to be bad. It's like antagonizing your neighbors' kids because you hate that the dad mows the lawn at 7:00am on Saturdays. Grow up, Satan and deal with God like an adult!
And what’s with God obstinately tolerating Satan’s childish petulance? I think there’s something more going between those two that we don’t yet know about. Color me suspicious.
- If, in these modern times, you found yourself as young person who is the miracle-working Messiah/Son of God, you knew that your Ministerial duties were only required during the last three years of your 33-year life, and you knew that your life between the age of 12 and 30 will be forever lost to history, what would you do with those 18 years?
Me? I’d probably set up shop in Baja, learn to surf, and take up instruments like guitar and piano.
- Saint Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:14: “Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?” But yet:
Oopsie. Personally, I think we need more portraits of Jesus wearing a jewfro.
- It is said that Jesus lived a sinless life; does that really mean that Jesus never performed an act that would be categorized a sin, or is “sinless” meant in the Nixonian sense: “When the President does it, that means it is not illegal”? Perhaps when Jesus does it, it is not a sin?
- Another question about Jesus and sin - While reading about the recent controversy around the Pope’s remarks about “saving humanity from homosexuality”, I learned that the Catholic Church doesn’t view homosexuality as sinful, it views homosexual acts as sinful.
So if Jesus lived a sinless life, and homosexuality is not a sin, that means that Catholics have to be open to the non-provable/non-disprovable possibility that Jesus was a homosexual, right?