Sweet Jesus, I wish the pain would stop. My pelvis is seconds away from rupturing. My insides wait in urgent pregnancy to ooze from my core, ready to coat the seats and floor beneath me. Why won’t this fucking train move? It’s time to go.

We’re underneath Boston Common at the… Read full post »

Hey, remember your first beer? I don’t.

It’s not because of binge drinking and black outs, it’s because before the age of two, my dad started letting me have the last sips of beer to “help him finish” the can.  It’s my sharpest memory of us bodin… Read full post »

Smokers are amongst the rudest people on Earth.  We, the free breathers in this society, are constantly being forced to inhale second-hand smoke upon exiting an office building, walking down a city sidewalk, standing on subway platforms, strolling through college campuses and any at other place… Read full post »

From The Hollywood Reporter:

Jay Leno is staying at NBC with a show at 10 p.m. weeknights. The network has signed the "Tonight Show" host to a new agreement that will allow NBC to keep him from going to a rival broadcaster without breaking the network's agreement with Conan O'Brien to… Read full post »

Dear Major Coffee Chain Customers:

Hi.

I am your friendly neighborhood barista.

I hate you.

Like Hezbollah hates the Jews
Like OJ hates Nicole
Like Child Molesters hate Dateline
Like Sarah Palin hates endin’ words with 'g'
I hate you. 

• If you’re one of the rude peeps
… Read full post »