T H E M O N O C L E

Keeping one magnified eye on you

Cullen Gatten

Cullen Gatten
Location
No Coast,
Birthday
December 31
Bio
An over-educated 27 year old, writing about unimportant things as if they are important, and complaining about things that aren't worth complaining about.

MY RECENT POSTS

MARCH 27, 2011 11:15PM

Competitive Balance and One-and-Done

[n.b. sorry about the endnotes. feel free to skip over them] 

With wins today and yesterday, Virginia Commonwealth University and Butler University earned spots into the NCAA Final Four, which, according to the graphic on my television screen during the evening game, are the two lowest seeds ev… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 22, 2010 1:24PM

Why Basketball Should Matter Again

 

My loving relationship with professional basketball began organically when I was pretty young—around five or six years old—ending sometime during my sophomore year in high school.  Although I still played in pickup games at the local park in the summer time, I never followRead full post »

In a modern society in which the memory of current events and news is only to be replaced as quickly as it is reported, it is no surprise that the American sports fan and sports reporters have forgotten about Michael Vick.

Vick, currently the starting quarterback (due to an injury

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SEPTEMBER 20, 2010 2:18PM

Why It Is Not Brett Favre's Fault

We hate Brett Favre.  Now, even those that love Brett Favre have put the onus on him for the Minnesota Vikings' 0-2 start.  With panic in the hearts of Vikings fans--like most people in tough times--looked for a scapegoat, blaming the man they so clamored for in the off/

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SEPTEMBER 17, 2010 12:30PM

And then, Reggie Bush said, "Whatever".

Yesterday, Reggie Bush decided to give back his 2005 Heisman Trophy after the Heisman Trust--the governing body that funds the annual award and "...has a charitable mission to support academic athletics and to provide greater opportunity to the youth of our country"--voted to vacate the trophy/

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Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 16, 2010 11:56AM

Sports Reporting: The Overemphasis of Unimportance

They say, we think, that baseball is ninety-nine percent mental and the rest of it is physical.  Something like that anyway.  In a way, Derek Jeter proved the rule as he admittedly faked being hit by a pitch in Wednesday night's game between the New York Yankees and the Tampa Bay/

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SEPTEMBER 15, 2010 3:51PM

Todd Haley: Certified Dullard?

One would be hard-pressed to find a football fan that does not dabble in fantasy football, and some of these folks will no doubt get burned over the course of the season by Todd Haley's idiocy.  Fret not, fantasy football managers won't be the only people suffering the wrath of

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Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 14, 2010 8:36PM

NFL Locker Rooms, Sexual Harassment, and Desert

Recently, an incident allegedly occurred in which some members of the New York Jets coaching staff and players sexually harassed TV Azteca reporter Ines Sainz by cat-calling and apparently running route patterns the result of which led to some team members running in an/

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SEPTEMBER 13, 2010 12:41PM

The Afterglow: Reflections on a Sunday gone

I made some picks last week on 11 games, the twelfth game I didn't pick, because I hated each team too much to really pick a winner.  I ended up with a 6-5 record, which is worse than I expected, yet would have been 7-5 if the NFL referees in

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SEPTEMBER 10, 2010 3:33PM

NFL Predictions: Week 1

Idiot

 

 

 

There's something enjoyable about the Friday before a weekend of football, and more so than every other Friday when there is no football.  A slight pep in your usual walk, the air feels crisper, and particularly this weekend feels so much better than the rest

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On the day before Glenn Beck holds his "Restoring Honor" rally in front of the Lincoln Monument in Washington, D.C., 47 years to the day in which Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his famous "I Have a Dream" speech, it is important to take stock of Beck's assertion that he

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I'm sure this question has been answered with the appropriate level of gravitas and vigor elsewhere, but what is the explanation behind the youngs wearing caps with impressively straight bills with the manufacturer's stickers left on said bill?  More importantly, what does the

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I have been away for a week for personal reasons, but there are a few things that have happened in the news that I wanted to discuss here.  

One third of conservatives believe President Obama is a Muslim

This isn't actually a surprise, but it is true, according to this survey.

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Title pic!

 

A weekly series where the unhip author delves into the biggest sociological group to come out of the aughts thus far: The Hipster.  In the first installment, the author will explore the dress of the modern and cool Hipster, a prominent and identifiable mark of hippocit

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Preseason games don't count for much and are traditionally unreliable indicators as to the success of the team (the Indianapolis Colts, for example, rarely finish with a win), not to mention that the starters on each team usually play one series in the first preseason game.  It is at lea/

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AUGUST 11, 2010 4:45PM

On the Overuse of Words

There are words that are commonly overused.  It drives me nuts.  Here's the list, I've included a photo depiction of each, chosen randomly by Google.

Awesome

 

For something to be awesome, it must be extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration or fear.  Go/

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I rarely, if at all, gush about sportswriters.  Hell, I am fairly certain that that I rarely gush about anything I enjoy at all; I've been known to go on fairly long rants about the overuse of words like, "awesome", "great", and the oft mentioned use of "beast".  It should

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AUGUST 10, 2010 11:27AM

Is the Goatee Back?

In a word, yes.  And it's not just grown by fat men to indicate that they do in fact have a chin.  I'm looking at you, David Brent:

 

Recently there's been an influx of goatees among the beautiful people: celebrities.  Indeed, this mid-nineties mouth framer is making a

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AUGUST 9, 2010 9:06AM

So This Is The New Year: Mad Men

For most, the New Year is always a time for hope that things will be different in the coming year, better than the last.  For Don Draper, it appears that the New Year won't be any different--or if it is different it is not certainly for the better--other than that/

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AUGUST 8, 2010 6:47PM

The Curse Of Tim Tebow

To say that the Denver Broncos are a mess is an understatement. Their playoff hopes dashed.  The hope-filled fans are devastated.   All it took was one week, and it's all Tim Tebow's fault.  

On the 31st of July, Tim Tebow began to practice with the Broncos after

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AUGUST 8, 2010 1:11PM

A Preview of the Bengals and Cowboys

Football is back.

Well, sort of.  The first official game of the preseason, the Hall of Fame Game, is on tonight featuring two intriguing teams: the Cincinnati Bengals and the Dallas Cowboys.   Preseason games don't count for much and are traditionally unreliable indicato

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Economic unrest gives rise to paranoia and the desire to seek a group to blame for the uncertainty a country faces.  This is the face of the United States at this time, and that face is ugly, the thoughts wrongheaded and without reason.

Due to the recent anti-immigration hullabaloo,

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katy_perry-641

Katy Perry's summer hit, "Summer Gurls" is undeniably catchy.  The peppy guitar riff repeated ad infinitum, sexually implicit lyrics embedded in summer imagery, a catchy and simplistic chorus, a surreal video and Snoop Dogg's silky smooth voice make for a great summer song,  w/

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A weekly series where the unhip author delves into the biggest sociological group to come out of the aughts thus far: The Hipster.  In the first installment, the author will explore the dress of the modern and cool Hipster, a prominent and identifiable mark of hippocity, and I will

Read full post »
AUGUST 4, 2010 9:14AM

Favregeddon Begins

 

Armageddon is the last battle between good and evil, the end of the world as we know it; whereas Favregeddon is an annual event, occurring each summer right around August.  The battle is between Brett Favre's ego and his old body.  

So far, what we know is that the

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