Reportedly, Phil Spector, his hand-picked marksmen, and the two Righteous Brothers hammered through “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’†from August to November 1964, and you know who was alive then? Not me. I tried to coax some context from my parents, lowly adolescents at the time, albeit to…

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As the motherfucker has proven time and again, Samuel L. Jackson is the finest orator to ever tread the goddamn boards. Drop a monologue in his million-dollar mouth and he’ll ace that shit, smooth that ass with the fires of hell, and make every unforgettable syllable pulverize its intended targ…

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MODERN YOUTH There are many accusations leveled at the young people of today. One hears older people referring to the careless, lazy, altogether good for nothing young men of today and to the silly, shallow, excitement seeking young women. They say that modesty and courtesy are absolutely extinct; th…

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MICHAEL GAMBON (VO): "If I should fall in the heat of war, bury me not in the cold, grey earth. Let me go, rock and roll." — Lieut. Francis L. Scurvy, KISS Army, 1979

KISS (1975 recording): "Baby gets tired, everybody knows / Your mother has to tell you, baby… Read full post »

The 'Net's aflame with scabrous analysis of Rebecca Black's "Friday," but is any of it warranted? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Whatever the case, this deceptively imbecilic single has attracted streams of snark, scorn, and praise from detractors and supporters alike, all propelling the 13-year-old i… Read full post »

Ho, friend(s), and welcome to the pits of my winter doldrums. I applaud your venture into the cheap end and for humoring my claptrap with even a quarter of your attention. Do mind the glass, but don't worry -- the dog won't bite unless he thinks you're trying to steal his… Read full post »

Man, that Facebook’s a ceaseless wonder. After reconnecting with distant relatives, old classmates, former paramours, half-remembered acquaintances, and cherished childhood friends, I’ve hit yet another nostalgic milestone: the first girl I ever asked out.

I was 15 then, and way b… Read full post »

In a multimedia press conference earlier this week, author/rake/journalist Cory Frye announced his retirement from writing, calling it a “prehistoric means of expression.”

With that change came his decision to condense hi… Read full post »

NEeMA
Watching You Think
(Sony International)
U.S. release: March 1, 2011

I close my eyes and I see hers. Curious, sparkling, deep, windows to a voice but a breath away. It caresses syllables like fingers in tangles of a lover’s hair. Even when absent it wafts through… Read full post »

“And I can see there’s something wrong with you
But what do you expect me to do?”
– Sex Pistols, “Problems”

“I look into my finance box
Just to check my status”
– Phish, “Golgi Apparatus”

24 Feb 2011

Attn: Her Majesty the Queen/… Read full post »

1. Al Green, “Let’s Stay Together” (with and without handkerchief)
2. Georgia Satellites, “Keep Your Hands to Yourself”
3. Bobby Darin, “Beyond the Sea” (bonus points: performed on an actual cruise ship)
4. The Rolling/… Read full post »

Nematode
Hoarfrost
Gastropod
Chordate
Dilettantism
Imperialists of the Paint
Coach
Infarction
Zephyr
Evanescent (to provoke LeBron fans)
Gusset
Haruspex
Psoriasis
Guards like a hunk of Gruyere
Defoliant
Schoolmarm
Carbuncle
Tatterdemalion
Guayabera
Pellucid
Gustatory
Truculent
Decolletage
Inc… Read full post »

Billy Joel
The Hits
(Columbia/Legacy)
Released: Nov. 16, 2010

In “I Go to Extremes,†a sorta grown-up “You May Be Right†and his last real track of significance, Billy Joel proclaimed, “I feel like I’m in the prime of my life.†But it wasn’t true: he was about to say… Read full post »

The title was a joke last year, ’cause I was 37 when I wrote this. Alas, boo hoo, the joke’s on me. Last week the punchline became the truth. Forever. Adios, 37. Off it went to that chronology morgue where most of my 30s/… Read full post »

For the other half of the sky…

This song was once an affront to me. I was in my teens then —world-weary pose, sick of what little It All I’d seen — and nothing disgusted me more than lovey-dovey pitter-pat platitudes from the man responsible for the far more provocative… Read full post »

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
The Social Network
(The Null Corporation)
Released: Sept. 28, 2010

A while back, to my extended-postadolescent horror, I awakened a long-stilled jones for video games. Luckily, I brained it comatose before it ran amok, but I was nonetheless unnerved by this momen… Read full post »

Leonard Cohen
Songs from the Road [CD/DVD]
(Columbia/Legacy)
Released: Sept. 14, 2010

As most people know, I am a collector of audiences. My favorite moments on live albums are those spaces between songs when a mob belts out orgasmic gusts of adulation. Or, even better, when… Read full post »

EDITOR’S NOTE: Most metal fans remember Foäm — if they remember the group at all — as one of the genre’s cruelest tragedies. Their 1986 debut, Soaked to the Elbowz (Atlantic), was roundly hailed as a landmark achievement, even by the persnickety Rolling Stone (“In a toothless seaso… Read full post »

Heart
Red Velvet Car
(Legacy)
Release date: Aug. 31, 2010

Red Velvet Car comes on (or off!) like a slinky black dress, a tickled chin-coo that occasionally forms a fist and thumps you one ’cross the kisser. It’s a sleek, compact, muscular vessel, the kind Heart used to make when… Read full post »

Last week on my Facebook page I posed the question, “What’s my generation’s skinny-tie equivalent?†Most responses were of the “Uhhh, wouldn’t that be the skinny tie?†variety, but I dunno. I tend to associate the look with adults: the Buggles-era Yes, f’r starters, or The Kna… Read full post »

Friday morning, mid-March, 1990. Most of the West Albany High Whirlwind staff is slumped outside the school at an hour so ungodly even daytime can’t be bothered. The lights along Queen sigh a lonely white as early commuters zip past en route to lives unknown. They are passing shadows. We… Read full post »

Koot Hoomi
The Dark Side of Hall & Oates
(Velvet Fallopian Tube/Luria Music)

Lately I’ve had Hall & Oates on the brain. It started with the news of poor T-Bone Wolk, truly the duo’s heartbeat at bass and oh, so much more. The day he died all I could think… Read full post »

NOTE: A version of this piece ran on Yahoo! Music this week, heavily edited by myself — the original was waaaaay too long. So I’m running the full text here, in five parts stretched over the next few days. This is Part 2; read Part 1 HERE.

EMI… Read full post »

According to my Texas Instruments peck-a-sum, the bygones required but nine minutes to melt my bones, so I figger I gots about just that long to convince you, dear reader, to download the doozular Spiritual Bankruptcy EP — pronounced “EEEEEEEEEEP!” — and cerebellum it… Read full post »

NOTE: A version of this piece ran on Yahoo! Music this week, heavily edited by myself — the original was waaaaay too long. So I’m running the full text here, in five parts stretched over the next few days.

Music freaks breathed a skeptical sigh of relief Sunday when EMI… Read full post »