With a nod to Open Salon’s slogan “You make the headlines,” on my page,
You Make the Captions!
Last month, we had a lot of fun with CoyoteOldStyle’s “Wild-o” January Thaw Photo Caption Contest. Today I’m offering, for your captioning pleasure, some new “interesting” images. Now that the Olympic Winter Games of Vancouver are over, we are left pondering the ancient Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.”
Thus, to stave off what my friend Cheryl has dubbed the armpit of the year while we wait to see if March comes in like a lion or lamb, I present you mighty photo-weenies with this newly expanded and improved incarnation of CoyoteOldStyle’s Armpit of the Year Photo Caption Contest.
Write some creative, pithy, thought-provoking, silly, happy, sad or descriptive captions and indicate which photo they are for. The infallible panel of august judges will be picking winners and will update this page with the winning captions. Have at it and have fun!
A.
Winner: Satan was pleased to realize he wouldn't be needing that snowblower after all . . . not this year. (Owl_Says_Who)
Runner-up: "And the Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup! Looks like Hell has frozen over!" (Bill S.)
Honorable Mention: The view from Phobos down onto the surface of Mars on a cloudy post-terraforming day. (Kent Pitman)
B.
Winner: In yet another humiliating black eye for automotive giant Toyota, it was revealed today that many 2009 Corolla models had been improperly equipped with Bridgestone wheelbarrow tires. (designanator)
Runner-up: "We'll" have a good time soon. (Trudge164)
Honorable Mention: Gary Justis Could Do Something With This. (Chuck A. Stetson)
C.
Winner: “Captain, the barn seems to be stuck in the pattern buffer and I can't make it materialize.” (Kent Pitman)
Runner-up: the door between the living and the dead. (fingerlakeswanderer)
Honorable Mention: "What do you mean, your little brother is playing hockey in the yard? It's forty-five degrees outside!" (Bill S.)
D.
Winner: After the accident and 6 months in bed, Bill was finally able to get to the mirror on his crutches and was shocked to see his legs had gotten as thin as pipes! (Gabby Abby)
Runner-up: Then, there's copper, which is the only pipe I use. It costs money. It costs money because it saves money. (Rich Banks)
Honorable Mention: Composition in blue and "take this winter and shove(l) it" (dirndl skirt)
E.
Winner: Biodegradable TV antenna (OEsheepdog)
Runner-up: Primitive man, before the invention of metal, laboriously carved barbed wire out of wood. (Kent Pitman)
Honorable Mention: "I don't know WHAT the hell it is, dear, but the dog thinks it's Begggin' Strips!" (Bill S.)
F.
Winner: All the other veggies marveled at the size, strength and beautiful bright green color of the mighty broccoli. (Kind of Blue)
Runner-up: A tasty breakfast medley for Vegetarian Foodie Tuesday that won the Salon Kitchen Challenge. (designanator)
Honorable Mention: The latest James Bond movie from Albert R. Broccoli - In Her Majesty's Secret Soup. (Bill S.)
G.
Winner: Bramble Served With Ice (Chuck A. Stetson)
Runner-up: The ideal view while hunting with Dick Cheney! (Kind of Blue)
Honorable Mention: Livin' in the sticks (Leepin' Larry)

H.
Winner: He certainly gets excited when I come into the room. (Lea Lane)
Runner-up: "Houston, we have achieved zero gee. John, what the hell possessed you to bring a shake from Micky Dee's???" (Bill S.)
Honorable Mention: Photographic evidence that you didn't take out the trash like I asked you to. (OEsheepdog)
I.
Winner: Mirroir (Robin Sneed)
Runner-up: The trees always steal my view. (Sparking)
Honorable Mention: Breathe deep! (Rich Banks)
If you enjoyed playing this game, please don’t forget to “rate” it.
Photos Copyright © 2009 CoyoteOldStyle. All Rights Reserved.


Salon.com
Comments
D. Composition in blue and "take this winter and shove(l) it"
H. Burp.
ouch..well, that's my attempt. Fun to try, anyway!
B - The Post-Bush Era "Wheel of Fortune"
C - "Reflections of a Cold and Lonely Boat House"
D- "The Number One Selling Home Depot Item of Winter 2010 Is!"
E- Doctors finally found what was up Rush Limbaugh's ass!
F- All the other veggies marveled at the size, strength and beautiful bright green color of the mighty broccoli.
G- The ideal view while hunting with Dick Cheney!
H- Found in Glenn Beck's desk, an empty drink cup with jet fuel and a nearly empty bag of Tostitas.
I - You may be a tree, but dry you would be, if it were not for me...
I'll be back!
H. He certainly gets excited when I come into the room.
B. Wheel tired
C. To Narnia
D. Then, there's copper, which is the only pipe I use. It costs money. It costs money because it saves money.
E. Silly, Trees can't fly!
F. Impulsive Extrovert Salad
G. But we stand just fine.
H. I am a forlorn piece of trash. In a box of trash.
I. Breathe deep!
a. Satan was pleased to realize he wouldn't be needing that snowblower after all . . . not this year.
b. Spring training wheel.
c. She could see exactly where she wanted the new garden shed.
d. The shovel knew that vacation was coming soon.
e. Temporary contrast.
f. The vegetable wars always ended the same way: soup and/or salad.
g. Undaunted.
h. Guilty foodies' evidence box.
i. It was the season for reflection.
B. It wasn't until he punctured the tire on his barbecue that John was finally convinced that paper cups might be the best alternative at a cookout.
C. “Captain, the barn seems to be stuck in the pattern buffer and I can't make it materialize.”
D. The first A-frame he made, though it even had a picture window, was far too small and ended up being used just to store brooms and shovels.
E. Primitive man, before the invention of metal, laboriously carved barbed wire out of wood.
F. The Hubble Telescope shows us an extreme close-up of Saturn's moon Enceladus.
G. Long before they discovered space travel, primitive Tholians built webs of twigs around their friends while they slept, just to tweak them.
H. Modern laser weapon with fast food facade for camouflage.
I. The buffalo cleverly flattened himself against the water to escape detection.
A. A frame from the new music video "Turn On Your Snow Glow" by Neil Diamond.
B. In yet another humiliating black eye for automotive giant Toyota, it was revealed today that many 2009 Corolla models had been improperly equipped with Bridgestone wheelbarrow tires.
C. Photographic results of when you leave one group of naughty school kids unsupervised with 15 rolls of toilet paper and one small pond.
D. The runaway Staples box was found hiding inside the tool shed, but soon returned to the local store from where it had recently escaped.
E. He was given the name "Woody" as a teen and it was clear why.
F. A tasty breakfast medley for Vegetarian Foodie Tuesday that won the Salon Kitchen Challenge.
G. Recently discovered nature photos taken by Jackson Pollock.
H. Some of the offerings of the new meals on wheels program catering to junk food addicts.
I. A portrait of a pond as a young puddle.
b. my flyer isn't so flexible anymore
c. the door between the living and the dead.
d. verticality
e. my coffee table, after hannah, the puppy, was left alone too long
f. vegetable orgie
g. i'm a bramblin' girl
h. the great american diet
i. the other side of the mirror
B. "We'll" have a good time soon.
F. Well. that explains the foul odor!
H. Another diet laid to waste.
B Hey Honey. Someone threw a wheel through our window
C How many times do I have to tell you to advance the film
D Shovel this
E If you break it, you own it.
F Funny how the food looks the same before and after I threw it up.
G Livin' in the sticks
H I have to clean out this car one of these days.
I Ah Shit, the septic tank is backing up again.
{[R]}
a. "Rhett! Rhett! Where are you Rhett?! I'm comin' home!"
b. Mine's an outie
c. "Captain! We're losing it! I jest canhn't do it Captain, we've got to get more power!" (spoken with a Scottish burr of course)
or I almost feel like I'm shedding...
d. After the accident and 6 months in bed, Bill was finally able to get to the mirror on his crutches and was shocked to see his legs had gotten as thin as pipes!
e. (I got nuthin)
f. Hmm, pool's really crowded today... I just wanted to jump in and veg out
g. Lice #1 to Lice #2: she really could use a good conditioner and some detangler
h. Bag to Cup: I told you your nose would grow if you kept saying you were *diet* Pepsi - liar.
i. Those trees are so narcisistic ... staring at themselves in the water all day
All done! Now I'm off to read the comments, I'm missing Bill S. right about now.
A. Who used Windex on the HD TV?
B. Gary Justis Could Do Something With This.
C. Flashback
D. Shoveling Spring
E. My recent bone scan
F. Vegging Out
G. Bramble Served With Ice
H. Hard On
I. The Secret Location Of Poland Springs
Nancy
Thanks for the fun!
I am terrible at headlines and captions. That's what copy editors are for!
B. Forgotten
C. Survivor
D. Intentions
E. Key
F. Legal Tender
G. Lock
H. Regret
I. Mirroir
Hi Coyote...please tell those little August judges that they will not foil me this time. They will not abscond with my stripper girlfriend nor will they get me drunk on virtual Hurricanes. I am prepared for all events and incidents. xox
I. Mud season awaits.
B. It's only flat on one side.
C. I wish we should shed more light on this.
D. Happy hour at the snow shovel bar and grill.
E. Biodegradable TV antenna
F. WASP chicken soup.
G. Branchsicles
H. Photographic evidence that you didn't take out the trash like I asked you to.
I. What do I have to do, stand on my head to get you to take a picture of ME?
B. Noticing the flat tire on the training wheel, Ed figured that fifty-two years old was old enough to take them off.
C. "What do you mean, your little brother is playing hockey in the yard? It's forty-five degrees outside!"
D. The shovels continued to strike, hoping for better work conditions.
E. "In the news today, someone stole a sculpture made entirely of beef jerky from the lawn of the state house...."
F. No one noticed the bits of flesh that had flayed off the Green Giant....
G. "Now students, who can find the Amazonian Walking Stick in this photo?"
H. "I know that Sonic holds a special place in your heart sweetie, but couldn't you have thrown this crap OUT before we moved?"
I. "Ma! I think the leech field is flowing over again!"
B. "For Sale: Training Wheels. Never used."
C. Spring - shedding ice.
D. The shovels were getting behind the proposed amendment known as #033.
E. "It was so hot today, my TV antenna just burst into flames."
F. "No, the little flesh-colored balls are not frog testicles, no matter WHAT your brother says!"
G. Wanting to break Johnny's bones, Alfred couldn't find a single stone.....
H. "Houston, we have achieved zero gee. John, what the hell possessed you to bring a shake from Micky Dee's???"
I. On returning for yet the third time, Shrek was distraught to find all that was left of his swamp was this puddle.
(bump)
B. Heart like a wheel - flat, tired, and lonely.
C. Shed: "Is that ME? REALLY? Holy smokes, I have the measles or something!"
D. The two shovels, deeply in love, prepared to elope out the window.
E. "If you take two things that have never been nailed together before and nail them together, some schmuck will buy it." George Carlin
F. The olive's attempt to hide behind the broccoli were futile.
G. "That isn't what I meant when I told you to BRANCH OUT, Dennis!"
H. "Here are the personal effects you surrender when arrested - a half-empty cup of soda and a bag of stale chips."
I. Apparently, Dumbo could not hold it until the hike was over.
B. I'm just flat-out tired.
C. "HEY! Where the hell did that LEAF come from? It's February, for cryin' out loud!"
D. Pole dancing.
E. "I don't know WHAT the hell it is, dear, but the dog thinks it's Begggin' Strips!"
F. The latest James Bond movie from Albert R. Broccoli - In Her Majesty's Secret Soup.
G. "HEY! Quit TOUCHING ME!"
H. "Hey, Pepsi and chip - no cheeseburger!"
I. "DA-AD! I said I wanted a POODLE for my birthday!"
B. "Yes dear, I said you had a spare tire, but that's NOT what I meant...."
C. "Yep. He went to that great shed in the sky."
D. Ever since the snow blower had arrived, the shovels felt neglected.
E. "Um. Yup. I'd say you have a serious termite problem."
F. The black bean felt very out of place.
G. A three-dimensional image of interior skull of George W. Bush
H. "Very funny. What did you guys do with my Coke and Santitas chips?"
I. "Hey diddle, diddle, the cat had to piddle and seems like it happened quite soon."
Hi Bill!!!!!
Watch this space.
Frankly, I'd have added more but I keep coming up blank now.
Applause, thumbs up and a "Jolly well done!" to all the winners!
Of those not chosen, I liked Lea's suggestion of the polluted lake in F, Owl's shovel suggestion for D (an especially hard one), Trudge's diet sugggestion for H, Gabby's attempt to get the accent better on an answer otherwise similar to mine for C (and her suggestions for H and I were good, too). Chuck's suggestion for I about Poland Springs was a duly scary, but cute too. :)
Hugs