Reposting this poem on Veterans Day 2011 is fitting. My friend Timmy never came back from Vietnam. His body didn’t die there but his spirit was changed forever. Timmy existed in a world of pain medicated with VA prescriptions and street drugs and alcohol. He put himself into situations during which others would focus their anger on him. It seemed to somehow ameliorate the rage and despair he felt inside and for himself.

Timmy ended his life by becoming involved in a fight
during which he was beaten to death.

On Veterans Day, dedicate yourself to honoring those who have honored our country with their military service and work toward a future that will no longer require the gift of so much from so few.

Later I would name what I saw

In your eyes that morning,

Knowing that no power in heaven or earth

Could return you to that frozen moment in time,

And change the day when the dreamer in you died.

You spent the rest of your life

Trying to release the man it was too hard to be

From the body you brought back to the world.

Even making love to you

Couldn’t bring you all the way back

From the village where you left your youth.

Your sadness was lessened in my arms

But the distance, the cold and aching silence

Of your thousand-yard

stare

Made me want to shelter you.

There is a place near Lincoln’s gaze

That holds the healing

And the peace you never found here.

A name is missing from the black granite roll call

Because no one counts the casualties

That happen twenty-five years later.

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Text and Photo
Copyright © 2011  CoyoteOldStyle.  All Rights Reserved.

Post Script: I learned just today that the guy who introduced me to Timmy died a couple of months ago. John was a cab driver and dispatcher who we affectionately called "Doc." He served two tours as a medic in Vietnam. Doc and I spent many of his birthdays together during which he would talk about the men he served with; the men he saved, and more often the ones he could not. He and I lost touch a couple of years ago and knowing that we no longer have the opportunity to get together again in this life leaves a giant empty place in my heart.

Good night, Doc. Hope it's peaceful where you are.