CrabbyGolightly.com

Because It's Complicated.
MARCH 1, 2010 2:37PM

Haters, Why You Gotta Begrudge A Girl's Vajazzler?

Rate: 9 Flag

WHAT'S WRONG WITH A GIRL WANTING TO FEEL ALL SPARKLY AND PRETTY? Or have things turned so upside down that fabulosity belongs only to the purview of boy skaters and vampires?
A vajazzling publice
The Vajazzler is the glittery euphemism for applying glue to a Brazilianed pubice and then affixing tiny bedazzling rhinestones. It’s been both hailed as recreation for "Glittertwati" and dismissed as "a real hood rat ghetto sort of thing. Or a J Lo thing, which is maybe the same thing." It's also been called the modern merkin.

The trend went meta after Jennifer Love Hewitt cooed about her hot pink pretty twat while visiting a talk show.

Now wags are squawking eeeewws and boos because they think it’s:

A) A waste of money;

B) Raises doubts about a girl's sanity and level of desperation; and/or

C) Worse, a pathetic attempt at pleasing men.

"I can't blame this on anybody but the women too stupid and brainwashed to know that this is a form of MUTILATION," laments Gawker commenter Topsy, whose political consciousness’ was no doubt been raised by women’s studies.

She continues her pedantic rant: "Ladies, YOUR VAGINA IS PERFECT THE WAY IT IS. Unless you have some kind of infection, a woman's vagina looks, smells, tastes and feels perfect in it's natural state.” Which itself provoked an hilarious exchange about the sexual politics of muff management.

And Autoclavicle outright rejected the practice with a saucy:

"That's $50 in addition to the wax? Pfft. I could do it myself with some super glue and rhinestones. Maybe even throw in a few googly eyes too, so the guy has zero doubts about my sanity.

Of course, the men chimed in too. "If I can speak for all straight men, we are so universally thrilled with a vagina that doing *anything* to adorn it seems like a complete waste of time & money ,’’ wrote TheRant who proves to be both self-absorbed and condescending with his flippant closer: “ Why not read a book instead?”

And someone (or some two) commenting as EastandWest panned, “Just sprinkle some glitter on your hoo-ha and call it a day."

All of which brings us back to this: what’s wrong with a girl wanting to feel pretty as long as she’s doing it to please herself?

How’s it different from getting some highlights or her nails done or a new blouse at Anthropologie? Granted, some dancers and strippers and even wives will partake for profits. But look at the spring in this blogger's step! See the joy in Love Hewitt's smile? Hell, if I wasn't an old with such a hairy mound, I'd try adding a little bling-bling myself.

Now why you wanna hate, players? Let the vajayjay's bling shine!

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Comments

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Whew, and here I thought I was losing my desire....
that butterfly does look pretty awesome. i've missed you posting here. glad to see you back :)
HI IM! Thanks for popping by! I couldn't resist sharing the charms of the vajazzler.
Ain't no one putting Crazy Glue and Swarovski Crystals on my nethers. Nope. Nay, nay. No way.
Ha ha ha ha! NOW I get freaky's post!
this inspired me to try and ride the bus again with my happyfaced-painted penis in full view -- hope the results are a little different this time. jail was not fun. but I did like how people laughed along with me and my smiley-sporting thangy (they were laughing WITH me, right?)
Yarrr! Ewwww! I just heard Kathy Griffin talking to Joy Behar about getting a pap smear as a public event to publicize the need for more women to get them and she was talking about this.

Oh no it's not comedy! It's real!
Hey, whatever floats her boat. There is something for everybody, I guess. Little known fact: after a certain age, Brazilians become unnecessary, so cougars will be able to afford vajazzling, too!
Lezlie
This is another one of those Things That Women Do That Are Utterly Incomprehensible to Men. It's similar to the Underwear Syndrome. A woman will spend an amount equal to the GNP of Borneo to have pretty undies that no one will see but herself. For most men, this makes about as much sense as decorating the glove box in your car.

I'm ok with HooHaa Adornments, don't get me wrong. If it makes a woman happy that's great. It hurts no one, and I could see it inspiring some interesting pillow talk. I just don't get it, that's all.

You see, for men genital decoration would be for the purpose of crude humor ("Look, honey, it's Dumbo!") or to give oneself an identity at bath houses ("Yeah, it's short for Richard"). But just to feel handsome or masculine. Wouldn't work.

I'm going to keep an open mind. I guess I'll have to see a few more of these, uh, embellished pubic areas before I make any judgments. Problem is, I'm married, so it wouldn't be a "live" view if you know what I mean.

Is there a website?
people w/ too much time on they hans?
Well theres' some crazy ratemyvajazzle which is basically pornographic. But check out my website! www.crabbygolightly.com! Lots of fun stuff there too, though not all as fun as the vajazzler.
Why do you women do it? Simple: Because it's pretty!
I don't "hate" them. Hate is too strong a word. It just seems really silly (and definitely unsexy) to me. Also, it seems like something that would make sex painful.
This is really strange.
Where You be? I bet You are so very pretty.
Please. Be honest? You are so very pretty?
Be honest? You know. La La La, Ya funny!
Please don't be too 'fake' 'false' no pretty!
You know YOU are so very very so pretty!
No big lie. Ya are pretty. Admit it. Pretty!
Admit it?
You pretty.
You know it.
A flower bloom.
Flowers no say:`
No gaze or adore!
Ya exquisite, correct?

My farmer hick Friend stops at yard sales.
Michele bought gold teeth, and G- straps.
A same-same that Ya reveal @ cute belly.
I use to think the "ting" was a eye mask.
I called Michele`Butterfly Farm Friend.
Crabby Go Lightly? Please inform more.
Please tell Michele? Tell where they go?
If Ya spell Michele? Please use one "L"-
Please model the belly button butterfly.
huh. 'pubis bling' ...Ya wild, O great fun.
Ya model the cute butterfly`Lady Rajah?
I'll email to a female for lucidity and`Rest.
Sleep in peace. I hope I didn't write`Smut.
Please know I mean no cantankerous`Stuff.
Peace.
Serious.
This was great.
Great for sleep.
Pleasant dream.
Um, is it actually *pathetic* to try and please men? I mean, I spend a non-trivial amount of time trying (with both successes and some spectacular failures) to please *women*, soooo?

Anyway, I'm totally down with the Vajazzler. Thanks for introducing it to my ever-growing repertoire of fantasy fodder...