WHAT'S WRONG WITH A GIRL WANTING TO FEEL ALL SPARKLY AND PRETTY? Or have things turned so upside down that fabulosity belongs only to the purview of boy skaters and vampires?
The Vajazzler is the glittery euphemism for applying glue to a Brazilianed pubice and then affixing tiny bedazzling rhinestones. It’s been both hailed as recreation for "Glittertwati" and dismissed as "a real hood rat ghetto sort of thing. Or a J Lo thing, which is maybe the same thing." It's also been called the modern merkin.
The trend went meta after Jennifer Love Hewitt cooed about her hot pink pretty twat while visiting a talk show.
Now wags are squawking eeeewws and boos because they think it’s:
A) A waste of money;
B) Raises doubts about a girl's sanity and level of desperation; and/or
C) Worse, a pathetic attempt at pleasing men.
"I can't blame this on anybody but the women too stupid and brainwashed to know that this is a form of MUTILATION," laments Gawker commenter Topsy, whose political consciousness’ was no doubt been raised by women’s studies.
She continues her pedantic rant: "Ladies, YOUR VAGINA IS PERFECT THE WAY IT IS. Unless you have some kind of infection, a woman's vagina looks, smells, tastes and feels perfect in it's natural state.” Which itself provoked an hilarious exchange about the sexual politics of muff management.
And Autoclavicle outright rejected the practice with a saucy:
"That's $50 in addition to the wax? Pfft. I could do it myself with some super glue and rhinestones. Maybe even throw in a few googly eyes too, so the guy has zero doubts about my sanity.
Of course, the men chimed in too. "If I can speak for all straight men, we are so universally thrilled with a vagina that doing *anything* to adorn it seems like a complete waste of time & money ,’’ wrote TheRant who proves to be both self-absorbed and condescending with his flippant closer: “ Why not read a book instead?”
And someone (or some two) commenting as EastandWest panned, “Just sprinkle some glitter on your hoo-ha and call it a day."
All of which brings us back to this: what’s wrong with a girl wanting to feel pretty as long as she’s doing it to please herself?
How’s it different from getting some highlights or her nails done or a new blouse at Anthropologie? Granted, some dancers and strippers and even wives will partake for profits. But look at the spring in this blogger's step! See the joy in Love Hewitt's smile? Hell, if I wasn't an old with such a hairy mound, I'd try adding a little bling-bling myself.
Now why you wanna hate, players? Let the vajayjay's bling shine!