(Yesterday, CBS shut down “Two and a Half Men” for the remainder of the season after Charlie Sheen, who was supposed to be going through rehab, went on a radio show and called executive producer Chuck Lorre a “turd,” “a (expletive) punk” and “a stupid, stupid little man.” He also dared the network to cancel the show, saying “I’ll go make movies.” It turns out that Sheen has a blog at OS. Here’s his latest post.)
(WELCOME TO MY BLOG. PARTY ON!)
I don’t care if they shut this freakin’ site down either. Who cares? This place is the disease and cocaine is the cure.
First, let me say that Kerry is a stupid, stupid little man. That’s me being polite. Who did he sleep with to get his job? Not a Mensa member, that’s for sure. I'll take him down with my fire-breathing fists.
Since I’m a gentleman, I won’t tell you what I think of Emily, but she wouldn’t know a good writer if Ernest Hemingway bit her in the ass. I'm not casting aspersions, but I heard that she was horny this week and the next thing I know, tr ig's got two EPs. I'm no math major, but I can add 2 plus 2. The only other possible explanation is that something knocked the Earth out of its orbit.
I mean, look at the front page. There’s not one thing there as clever as a script for my show. I read the entire freakin’ front page yesterday, and there wasn’t one mention of breast implants, oral sex or penis size. Where does the management of this place work, in a monastery?
You know the only person in Salon who knew anything? Joan Walsh. That’s why she abandoned ship. She knows the Titanic when she sees it.
No wonder nobody reads anything here anymore. It takes longer to post a comment than it does for my dealer to bring me a pound of cocaine. Who’s running the Tech Support at this place? I heard there are some monkeys missing from the Bronx Zoo. Just sayin’.
Seriously, the management in this place couldn’t spell cat if you spotted them the “c” and the “a.”
And who the fuck had the smart idea of “Foodie Tuesday?” I propose "Cocaine Wednesday" and “Porn Friday.” Nah, that’ll just attract more idiots to this place. There’s already about 10,000 villages missing theirs.
This site is nothing without me. Who else are you going to read?
Matt Paust? You’ll see his picture in the dictionary under “turd.”
L.C. Neal? People only praise her writing because she has a machete. Disarm her and the freakin’ truth will come out.
Susan Creamer Joy? Boo hoo, I was a bad girl when I was young. I used to do drugs. Hell, sister, I do drugs now and I’m fine. A suitcase full of cocaine and a bunch of porn stars. It’s the breakfast of champions.
Hey, Ann Nichols, have you taken a picture since you were eight years old? Update your freakin’ avatar, will you? You look like someone just dipped your pigtail in an ink well.
Cranky Cuss? He’s a man of convictions. Most of them for drunk driving. He looks nothing like that caricature. He's a dead ringer for Abe Vigoda.
Mimetalker? She’s a mime, but she never freakin’ shuts up! And while I’m at it, Abby should stop being so Gabby.
Linda Seccaspina? Hey, Linda, I've got something you can rate with hugs!
Where the hell does Con Chapman get the time to write so much? Isn’t he supposed to be a lawyer or something? I can see him in court. “I’ll cross-examine the witness in a minute, Your Honor, as soon as I finish uploading this piece about Lady Gaga dating Watson the computer.” If he’d been O.J.’s lawyer, we would have fried the bastard by now.
Did you notice that Jonathan Wolfman disappears from here every full moon? Wolfman isn’t his name, it’s his biography.
The only one worth a shit in this place is Tink. He’s got the right idea. Porn and drugs, baby. He knows what’s important.
I’ll be glad when they shut down this freakin’ place down! I won’t have to read any more of these wah-wah boo-hoo stories about how my mommy/daddy/ son/daughter/mistress/ teacher/pet dog didn’t love me and I can’t get a freakin’ job and I’m suffering from depression/schizophrenia/anorexia/bad breath. The only time I posted a sad story was the time my dealer went on vacation for two weeks.
So go ahead and shut this freakin’ site down, I don’t care. I’ll go write books. I’ll get one of my porn star friends to proofread it. If she can read.
Oh, and crack is wack.
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Comments
Rating you with hugs, love, and many happy days for you to come..
Best Wishes,
Blittie
Waaah! Fuck you Charlie, you walking hard-on!!!
Oh and if this is really Charlie Sheen? You're a tool. :)
Who are the editors? Front page? sometimes I think I'm reading home and garden...
rated with hugs
rated with hugs
--------------------------------------------------------and if you -----------------------then f*uck off.
So there!
And for God's sake straighten out those briefs!!
Lezlie
p.s. abby gets the prize for best comment. it's just not a contest.
NOT RATED despite the fact it is well written post bec I don't like people putting down other people even if they are bad.
Fukin' right!!! You tell 'em!! Porn and drugs baby!!! And whiskey chasers for the ride back down the totem pole!!!
I soooooooo am favoriting Charlie RIGHT now!! Wooooo!!!
:D
CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #329
"I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I've had chest x–rays, cardio stress tests, EKG's and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.
If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed."
R
`
A $2. coin is a Tune-E. $3.00?
`
They say the USA is a 3.-bill.
A $3- bill as in we (tease) turd.
Cranky Cuss. Carve a statue.
Get a Cacti plant with pricks.
Care a bust of Charlie Sheen.
`
Maybe Charlie Sheen can be?
Mr. ED. A talking Navy SEAL.
No read `Soldiers of Fortune.
He hop on Cat and be editor?
Shaped Cacti Bust to whore.
No be anti-Cracky anymore.
Sip soup with Saudi kings.
Cranky Cuss drip scoops.
Ay Soup Cranky Gourmet.
Thrilled to see soup here.
Cranky got soup in beard.
We sing in O.S. Glee Club.
You funny.
(Garsh, he just pissed clean. Are his blood tests are gonna come back clean too?)
signed,
Lindsey
You are just a clever, smartass that ride on other people's fame.
Am surprised this got such ratings and even a cover when plenty of writers that deserve attention languish in the shadows here.
You are not even witty - just clever.
I’ve seen you posting long-winded defenses of Mr. Sheen all over Open Salon the last few days. Frankly, I’m appalled that you would try to defend the reputation of a man who has shot one of his fiancees, held a knife to the throat of one of his wives, insulted his boss in a rant with anti-Semitic overtones, called his ex-wife Denise Richards the n-word in phone messages, cheated on his wives with impunity, had a drug problem so bad that his father had to turn him into the authorities, and delved into thoroughly wacky conspiracy theories. Now his selfish, psychotic behavior has put many people out of work, not just his well-paid co-stars but crew members who undoubtedly struggle to pay their mortgages every month. Nobody is stopping you from enjoying Mr. Sheen’s work as an actor; sometimes I do too (though I note that your bio says you never watch TV at all). But if there was someone in the public eye who was just begging to be ridiculed, it is Charlie Sheen. Yes, let’s by all means not make fun of any public figure who is ruining the lives of people around him. Excuse me while I go chase a unicorn.
As for what Sheen is in his personal I do not care and don't see it within my rights to discuss in my blog. His colleagues can take care of themselves. Hid family is there too.
He is not a personal friend. He is not a personal enemy. He is not my boss and I do not believe everybody else lost their jobs because of that one person - they could replace him if he is bad and get someone better !!! He is only a paid staff!!! Why pull out the whole damned serial?? Which implies HE was the star attraction of that piece - in which case his lifestyle makes sense - he was being in life, what he is portrayed as in the soap!
And if does have drug problem - like OESheepdog said, it is nothing to laugh about or make fun off.
Either way - I don't like people picking on him.
I am not interested. Period. There are more important things in life. Like interacting with blogmates here and catching up on their lives and happenings.
As for Lindsay Lohan - she is just a pair of boobs and basically trash. There are hundreds of thousands of Indian children that grow up in worse conditions to rise above their situation and be better people. What about people like Pele and Maradona? They came from the streets and rose to be stars eh? Lots of American children are latch key babies struggling with a drug addict parent or growing up in sad single parent homes. In your own country there is Madonna and other examples of people that overcame difficult childhoods to go on to realize the destiny of their lives.
What about JK Rowling? She struggles with joblessness, feeding three hungry children, poverty, single parenthood and rose to become who she is - dont defend tash - CS at least never did fail in his work for which got paid for. And thats that. Period.
No matter what you say - it does not condone writing about any human being in this fashion - it is not nice or polite or decent. To laugh at people - even if they might have failed.
Are you perfect? I have read all of your posts - you appear to be a very ordinary, very prosaic person and yet people came and read you - altho you were saying what everybdy alrdy knows - do you think YOU always deserved everything that you got in life - are you that presumptuous?
I wouldnt think so - you are after all intelliugent - you know in your heart what you have done here is wrong. And less than decent. Thats all am trying to say here.
Laugh about what deserves to be laughed at! Not at people. Or their failures or faults.
All am saying is give up the high school kind of behaviour - think before you jum into the fray and submit yourself to what everyone is doing -
Laugh all you want Sir, it is your birthright - only think about whether it is OK to laugh at people or their faults or their failures.
Would you like it if I picked on your faults and your personal life and what you did with your wife and how many times you did it with other women and laughed at you here on OS ? And made fun of you publicly ?
You would not - thats what I thought. And by the way do you CS personally? Have you met him? Did he exchange confidences with you? Do you know what goes on in his mind?
If not - then knowing him is as good as me knowing YOU - does it give me the right to talk about you, then? No, right?
:) Just leave the poor man alone.
You dont care about the man - you hardly know him anyways.
Do you care abt his family? Do you think his mom wd be elated to see all this hate posts abt her son? Well - no, right?
Spare them then. All in all stop discussing people you do not know personally publicly and maligning them. It is not healthy for civilised societies.
It is called gossipmongering - which is women's pastime
Doesnt become a man
Let me see: I insult Charlie Sheen, and I’m just a smartass bully and everyone should look down their nose at me. Charlie Sheen insults everyone who works with him, and he’s just a poor guy who should be given some space. Ho-kay……
If I behaved in any way like he did, I'd be in jail and all of my friends and family would have abandoned me, and rightfully so. But because Mr. Sheen is a celebrity with millions of dollars, he can buy his way out of trouble and buy new, unquestioning friends to hang out with.
Doesnt become a man"
EXCUSE ME??????
Lezlie
Cranky, I felt cheated when I realised this was NOT CS's blog!!
I did not use his name to pull the crowd, did not take seemingly funny digs at all my fellow writers in his name on MY blog, then, after having used his name, I did not criticise the star.
I merely responded to what I read here. This is a comment thread. Not my blog.
Leslie, thanks for that shout-out and am sorry - gossipmongering does not become anyone, men or women.
O and curious about all this here I dug around a bit and found this :
"Of Lorre, he said: "I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that this un-evolved mind cannot process. ... I've spent, I think, close to the last decade, I don't know, effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write."
So Lorre had decided not to write for the show is why they had to stop the show really. CS was responding to the situation making an angry outburst. He has acted in that show for ten years!!! And has been awarded too!!!
And Chuck Lorre decided to no longer write for a man who called him a maggot, a turd, a punk and made fun of his Jewish heritage. I wouldn't either.
They have worked with him for TEN years I discovered from WIKI - if he really is the guy to call people names, how come they did not fire him earlier? and he got all those award nominations and the awards? and the millions too? and a philanthropy award from a NGo that doesnot normally award its donors. he hosted for them for free for years.
If you and I misbehave at work, wd they pay us millions? Something must have caused the outburst.
You are a good writer, with a great fan following as is obvious - why don't you devote your writing ability to finding out the truth behind what REALLY happened, why an extremely popular show is brought down suddenly allegedly bec of his behaviour? I am in India, I dont know, but since I like his work, since I find it curious that Americans are so stirred by this gentleman - I feel curious - why is he so imp to you?
Finding out what really happens behind the scenes is beyond my powers. Show business is notorious to turning the other cheek when their stars are misbehaving, as long as they can keep making money from him, and CBS has done that with Charlie for years because it hasn't affected his work. But in this case, after his hospitalization a few weeks ago, they told him, "Enough. Get yourself straightened out and then come back to work." But he refused to go to a rehab clinic and he refused to take his situation seriously. I think the network and the producers have had enough of him. The fact that his publicist resigned on Monday indicates even the people around him believe his self-destruction is beyond their control.
His violent tendencies when high bother me, but as someone who has been the victim of male violence -- physical, verbal and sexual -- for most of my life along with countless other women, I know that he is not unique in that regard. I suggest your concerns might be better focused on working against the virulent misogyny in the entertainment industry, of which Sheen's show is a prime example. You seem to be just fine with that though since you said you like the sit com.
It is always so much easier to attack the symptoms, or one man, than to address the real problems that create a climate where it is OK to use women as whores, the butt of sexist jokes and punching bags.
Your points about the entertainment industry are valid. As I said, I used to watch his show regularly. I like bawdy humor, though I thought it was getting too crass. It ceased to be funny to me after he was arrested for holding a knife to his wife's throat.
However, I object to the thinking that we shouldn't be criticizing his behavior. When a single guy who's 25 parties too much, I don't care. As I said in my comments, I would never make fun of Lindsay Lohan. I have a daughter the exact same age as Lohan, so I know that she is still very young and has plenty of quality life ahead if she gets her feet on the ground. When I was that age, I could be an idiot too, but I didn't have the money to indulge my idiocy.
When a guy of Sheen's age, however, with responsibilities and with so many people dependent on him, seems oblivious to the harm he's doing, I think keeping quiet is the worst thing that we can do. The reason a guy like Sheen gets his sense that he can do no wrong is that he is surrounded by sycophants and yes-men who tell him he can do no wrong. And they will keep telling him he can do no wrong until the day he ends up in a pine box.