Since I never pass up an opportunity to look like a blithering idiot (i.e. any day ending in –y), I’ve decided to try something perhaps foolhardy: monthly record reviews.  Any resemblance to Robert Christgau's "Consumer Guide" is strictly intentional.  Mostly using my Rhapsody subscription – certainly can’t go buying all these - I will evaluate 4-8 of the previous month’s releases, and rate them on a scale of 0-4 Crankys. (Or is that “Crankies?”)  I’m going to try and avoid the low-hanging fruit, i.e. records that I fully expect to detest, and stick to those that at least pique my genuine curiosity.  For those who don’t trust my judgment – and why should you? I’ve been known to change my mind a lot – I’ve made a song recommendation for each record in case you want to sample.  At the end, I’ve listed records that I’ve listened to all the way through at least once and couldn’t work up any enthusiasm to discuss. Remember that I have no musical training - the only thing I can play is the radio - but I do have a pair of inquisitive ears.  P.S. Since I do this for my own amusement, I won’t be offended if you’re not interested.

GREGG ALLMAN: Low Country Blues: Allman’s first recording since his liver transplant sticks to blues classics; only his version of Muddy Waters’ “I Can’t Be Satisfied” rises above the crowd.  The band, led by Doyle Bramhall’s guitar, cooks well enough, and though Allman’s voice sounds a little weakened at times (or is it just buried in the mix?), he still sings with feeling. I wish he’d come up with a few originals though. Pleasant listen, not at all essential, but glad he's in good health.  (Sample: “I Can’t Be Satisfied.”)

(That's 2 1/2 Crankys.)

THE DECEMBERISTS: The King Is Dead: Preferring my lyrics no-nonsense, I tend to mistrust songwriters who use phrases like “the summer swells anon” and “stuffed in strata of glow;” Colin Meloy reminds me of the guys in college always quoting Conrad and Faulkner, while I wanted to shove my Salinger where “this bold and brilliant sun” doesn’t shine. But Meloy has a clear and expressive voice, the songs have heart and the band plays with energy, especially on a stomp like “Don’t Carry It All.”  It doesn’t hurt that Peter Buck stops by to make “Calamity Song” sound like vintage R.E.M.  Earlier records were reportedly ambitious and conceptual (I haven’t heard them), but this feels straightforward and relatively unpretentious. Still I get annoyed when the smart-ass follows the phrase “supply-side bonhomie bone-drab” with “know what I mean?” Um, no, I don’t.  (Sample: “All Arise!”)

DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS: Go Go Boots: After their first-ever studio album that didn’t rise above average, the Truckers regain their stride by slowing it down, quieting it down and turning it bluesier. Full of stories of people and families living on the edge – more than one murder-for-hire (though maybe the same from two different angles), a vet who can’t stop the nightmares, a lot of drinking and cheating – it mirrors my pessimistic view of America 2011.  Patterson Hood’s raspy voice still sounds like he’s spent years shouting his drink order above the bar din, but that doesn’t make it any less soulful. Mike Cooley applies his smooth tenor to a tale of a small-town Tennessee girl who returns home after a dispiriting stay in La-La-Land and Shanna Tucker’s Southern drawl bucks up the spirit of a diabetic who may be fencing product. (Perhaps this is your Thanksgiving: "My aunt's praising Palin / My niece loves Obama / My uncle came to dinner wearing his pajamas.")  Despite this, it may be the warmest record they’ve ever made, expressing sympathy for their characters even when Karma bites them in the ass. Hood breaks up the dark mood with two of the warmest songs he’s ever recorded, “Everybody Needs Love” (written by Eddie Hinton) and “Mercy Buckets,” which provide a much-needed catharsis.   (Sample: “Everybody Needs Love,” currently a free download at Amazon.)

WANDA JACKSON: The Party Ain’t Over: “Jack White Rescues Another Country Singer’s Career,” blares the headline, at least in White’s own mind.  His production - 12-piece band, horns included - threatens to drown the Queen of Rockabilly’s distinctive voice, simultaneously raspy and kittenish, and as on his Loretta Lynn record, it's as if he couldn’t trust the star to carry the record.  Except that the sole acoustic number, “Blue Yodel #9,” proves that she can, and when she growls Dylan’s “Thunder On the Mountain,” the band has to really rip to keep up.  Even when White turns Ray Charles’ “Busted” into a clattering mess, her voice rises above the din. It helps that White found her some good songs, including Amy Winehouse’s “You Know That I’m No Good.”  Listening to the more stripped-down “Nervous Breakdown,” however, I wish he had taken his foot off the pedal a little more often.  (Sample: “Thunder On the Mountain.”)

STEEL MAGNOLIA: Steel Magnolia: Meghan Linsey and boyfriend Joshua Scott Jones, winners of season 2 of Can You Duet, swing for a home run on every cut on their debut album, but as any slugger could have predicted, they end up hitting a lot of pop-ups.  The opener, “Ooh La La,” has a big, booming, country radio-ready chorus but so does every other song and eventually it sounds like they’re trying too hard.  They attack every lyric as if they don’t trust their own voices (even the casual intimacy of “Eggs Over Easy” feels overcooked).  The lyrics verge on the generic – in “Just By Being You (Halo and Wings),” she takes him to – you guessed it – heaven.  A little success – and the album is selling well – should relax them for next time.  So it’s probably not a good sign that the New York Times concert review noted that they seemed to be mad at each other on stage. Uh oh. (Sample: “Ooh La La.”) 

BLAST FROM THE PAST:

DUKE ELLINGTON: And His Mother Called Him Bill: Recorded in 1967 shortly after Billy Strayhorn’s death, this was the Duke’s tribute to his longtime collaborator. All of the songs were written or co-written by Strayhorn, though the album includes none of his best known compositions, like “Take the A-Train” or “Lush Life,” concentrating of the lesser known to demonstrate the breadth of Strayhorn’s skill.  I am moved by his final composition “Blood Count,” which Strayhorn gave Ellington while on his deathbed and which features a melancholy solo by saxophonist Johnny Hodges; Ellington never played it again after recording it. I can’t imagine anyone with ears not being moved by “Day Dream” or Ellington’s impromptu recording of “Lotus Blossom.” (Thanks, Con.) (Sample: “Blood Count.”)

Cage the Elephant, Thank You Happy Birthday; Cake, Showroom of Compassion; Smith Westerns, Dye It Blonde; Abigail Washburn, City of Refuge

POP DIVA SMACKDOWN:

Lady Gaga, “Born This Way” v. Britney Spears, “Hold It Against Me”:

Subject: Latest singles of two prominent pop divas, Gaga’s a gay rights anthem, Britney’s a sexual come-on.

Beats: Both electronic/dance; Gaga’s more relentless but smoother and more uplifting than Britney’s.

Lyrics: Neither especially clever; Gaga’s tag line “Don’t be a drag, just be a queen” is actively annoying (though the verses are more intelligent), Britney’s titular “If I said I want your body, would you hold it against me?” is sophomoric.

Vocals: Britney’s seductive coo wears thin, Gaga booms and seems more self-confident.

Summary: Gay anthems by pop stars are rare, and Gaga’s is pretty catchy; Britney’s double-entendre is danceable but run-of-the-mill.

Winner: Lady Gaga 

NEXT MONTH (tentatively): Todd Snider, Gil Scott-Heron, Adele, Lucinda Williams, REM, New York Dolls