Today is Mother's Day.  I've already called my mom and chatted and said thanks for the card.  I tried to call Grandma, but she's out, so will have to call her later to thank her for the flowers.   I will call my stepmother and her mother later on - I imagine my brother is treating them to a nice brunch. 

I'm not terribly sentimental about Mother's Day - I recall reading in college that the Nazis popularized the holiday, and I have worked in the flower business.  Mother's Day is the biggest flower holiday of the year, seconded by Valentine's Day.  And working in a shop during either of those two holidays will turn you off the whole idea for a good long while.  Valentine's Day because of all the claptrap; Mother's Day due to the sheer volume of work and the frenetic pace.    

Now I'm thinking about my mother-in-law, who passed away five years ago.  My husband is probably thinking about her, too, but does not want to bring it up. 

Millie was a wonderfully giving and loving mom - a "mom's mom" - ready with advice and long on life experience.  Example:  even when her oldest son was in his 40s, she still felt it necessary to remind him to turn the sprinklers away from the foundation of the house so they wouldn't ruin the stucco.  "It's important, you know.   You've got to take care of things."   She always told my husband and I to put our money someplace safe, with a return that's gar-anteed. 

She grew up in poverty during the Great Depression and left home at 13 to marry a man thirty years her senior who was a widower with a toddler at home.  People don't do things like that anymore, but then, those were times such as we've never seen since, current headlines notwithstanding.  I think of what a clueless nitwit I was at 13, and how this woman got married and became a mother overnight. 

 I called on Mom's memory to give me strength when I got panicky earlier this year about the Economic Collapse.  I reminded myself that she lived in places with dirt floors.  That she raised seven kids she gave birth to, and another that she didn't, on a meagre education and lots and lots of very hard work.  That she compulsively saved and shopped at dollar and thrift stores until the day she died, and was able to bequeath a not inconsiderable sum to each of her surviving seven kids.  That she always reminded us to take care of each other. 

Having a relationship with someone else's mother can be a particular gift.  There is no baggage of childhood disappointments or regrets for past disagreements to color the friendship.  We could be mother and daughter without the mother/daughter dynamic. 

What I miss the most is sharing novels and stories with her.  She loved to read and she was a sucker for a good story, especially if it focused on family relationships.  She and I talked for hours about books by the likes of Willa Cather, John Steinbeck, and Toni Morrison.  We both read Mildred Pierce more than once and loved it every time.  When I recently read  The Remains of the Day, I immediately thought, "mom would love this."  And was immediately disappointed that we wouldn't be discussing it. 

Although I am not religious, Mom was.  In her honor, following is a quote from the Book of Ruth, verse 16:   

And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee:  for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge:  thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God...