FEBRUARY 19, 2011 11:49PM
Gigantic Monster Market
I believed I could handle it. I thought it shouldn't be too bad at 10:30 a.m. I vowed to be strong and face this fear, after all it was just a grocery store. How bad could a trip to the Gigantic Monster Market possibly be? This is not its real name. I'm convinced that the owners will somehow see this and take me to court. I had been to this market before, once on my way to Jean's house.I had only stopped for some half and half and some pastries but I came away with an additional rage headache. Could their goal be that every moment spent there be as painful as possible for the customer? Today again I was on the way to Jean's house but I hadn't had a confirmation call that she and the baby would be home. I bravely thought to kill some time at the Gigantic Monster Market, not knowing I would be killing some brain cells too. People line up in their cars, on San Fernando Road and wait to enter the parking lot. Once in, the parking space battles begin and end and start up again- an endless loop of rudeness. One thing about the GMM customer, they aren't thoughtful, they aren't polite and they are monstrous in trying to get what they want, the next Hunger Games could be set there. The store- entrance is on the far right side and the exit is on the far left side. You can't go in through the exit side or leave through the entrance. You have to make your way through the whole building to get out. I'm sure there have been many casualties of people who beg their families to get out while they expire in meat aisle. There are many things to recommend this store, great prices, a mixed nuts bar, a bakery, a cheese aisle and a variety of unique Hispanic and Armenian items. They even have hookah pipes! But it is the produce area that causes the most distress. Everyone has a cart and the staff is stocking and moving large trash cans around. I was waiting for someone to move their perpendicularly parked cart out of the way, and one of the produce guys yelled at me for not yelling at the cart offender. Sure I got a dinosaur plum and a Ya pear but I didn't like getting chastised by someone wielding a price gun. It may be a law there, that you should never get out of the way for someone- take all the time you want blocking the aisle looking at discount juice. When I finally got in a check out line, I didn't have anything I had gone into the store for. Naturally the people behind me, kept accidentally ramming their cart in my back, with only a lackadaisical shrug for an apology. As I was waiting and waiting to be rung up, I wished I would faint- it might have sped things up a little. If I had actually passed out though, I bet people would have just rolled their carts filled with twenty cucumbers and packets of fish heads right over me and then yelled at me for causing their cart to roll funny.