I am not entirely unhip.

Yesterday I ran into my friend. He took out a smart phone and twitted that he was hanging out with me. I read his twit on my cellphone and knew that this was indeed true.

But I admit that when it comes to new technologies, a thin cloud of uncertainty always hovers over my head. When a friend throws a sheep at me on Facebook, I don’t know what to do with it. At such times, I feel like an old man looking  for a fax machine on his first day at a new office.

The clouds of uncertainty pour when I go to online advertising trade shows and man a booth for my ad agency.

-So do your employees know Web 2.0 technologies, asked a prospective client at the last industry event.

-Sure, I said, we Twitter at work.

She looked at me pityingly like I had a skin disease (it’s only a rash).

-What he means is that we use Obayoo, said my colleague who is more hip to these matters. After all, microblogging is good, but file sharing is also very important.

-Very she said. She punched a few buttons on her phone, presumably to microblog or to share a file.

-Do you know if this show is being transmitted as Qik?

-Yes, I said. It sounded better than No.

-Good, good. Say, she said. Isn’t that Adam Lambert, she giggled excitedly.

-Ah, a great man, a great man, I said.

I mean wasn’t John Adam Lambert one of our old Presidents or something?

She looked at me as if I were a strange person. I scratched my skin (only a rash) and smiled at her. I gave her my card.

-I’ll see you on Glue, she said.

-Sure, I said, but only to be polite. I had stopped sniffing glue years ago. But in this economy, we must do what we can to win a client.

- That was pretty forward, I told my colleague. Wanting to get high when we barely know each other.

-Dude, my colleague said. Glue is a Firefox extension that allows you to share your preferences with other people. You know, you are already on Glue.

-I am? I asked.

-Sure, he said. How else would I know you listen to Eye of the Tiger three times a day, especially before your weekly performance appraisals.

I looked away guiltily. I felt pretty lame. I was sure my Scribnia rating had fallen by many notches. I wanted to log on to Meebo and express my feelings. Though I didn’t know How. Or Why.

To make matters worse, I also felt hungry. I would have eaten the sheep my friend threw at me on Facebook. But I am vegetarian.