When Spirit Airlines announced that it will begin charging passengers for carry-on luggage at the rate of $30 per bag if paid in advance and $45 per bag if paid at check in, the company took the first step in a never-ending search for additional fees to enhance the bottom line of the entire airline industry. I can just imagine some of the fees and innovative money-making adjustments that may begin to appear in company income ledgers worldwide.

1. Coin-operated toilets
2. Required contributions to flight crew retirement funds.
3. Cabin crew Karma jars.
4. Surcharge for membership in the Mile High Club. Extra charges apply if passengers wish proof in the form of a tape or an official Captain’s Mile High Certificate.
5. Per foot aircraft taxi rates from gate to lift off and from touchdown to gate.
6. Incentive charges to insure pilot attentiveness (TIPA) to flight duties while in flight.
7. Bring your own booze (BYOB) surcharge.
8. Condom dispensing machines fore and aft and amidships.
9. Penalty add-ons per decibel for parents with yowling babies.
10. Gag Factor Fees for unwashed passengers.

These are merely a few potential charges. You may have some in mind yourself. Feel free to contribute.