1. Lingerie & pajamas. Bullshit. What do you really sleep in?
Sheets. No wait, I get the question now! Nothing.
2. What’s the one thing in your refrigerator you’re goddamned angry about if someone touches it?
Me man. Get grouchy when BEER touched!
3. What’s the one thing you do so well that when you’ve done it, you stand back and say, “YES!”
Get good reviews for a piece of fanfiction that I’m proud of. I recently did my first ever World War Z story and was absurdly proud that I managed to creep people out.
4. What’s your one piece of clothing that you want to wear everyday and you would if you could and not get stared at?
My Welsh flag belt buckle that my lovely wife bought for me at a Friendship Festival in Canada. Sadly it doesn’t really go with the suit and tie that I wear to work. Although if I had a gun and FBI badge I could look like Booth from Bones!
5. What scares the shit out of you?
I was going to say anything to do with needles near eyes. However, I’m going to change it to the thought of letting my wife down. That genuinely scares me.
6. What is your favorite physical feature? The one you look at and think, “damn, that’s good!”
I’m a man, so in the interests of keeping smut out of this I’ll decline to answer that question.
7. Have you ever actually read the Bible?
Yes. I actually studied it for confirmation classes and an O-Level in Scripture. The result? I’m a militant atheist.
8. Who is the most overrated celebrity / personality / politician / human being to ever walk earth?
Umpteen footballers in the UK, Diego Maradona, the Beckhams, Sarah Palin, Paris Hilton… I could go on, but I’d just start to foam at the mouth.
9. What is your favorite physical activity?
I refer you to my answer to question 6. Oh ok, I’ll say walking. I must walk at least 3-4 miles a day.
10. What is the worst concert you’ve ever seen? And folks, if you can name more than one - rethink your definition of worst. Worst. Go.
I’ve been lucky – I’ve never been to a bad concert!
11. You control the world’s radio station for the length of one song. (One song for God’s sake. One. Draw your line.) What tune do you play?
Oh. Nasty one. Ummm… “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. Sheer magic.
12. First kiss. Yeah, we know your Mother kissed your head. We get all that. First real - OMG that shook my knees - kiss. You tasted - you wanted more.
Jane Croucher, in her parents living room, on a very warm night when I was 17. First kiss with Kathleen as well I hasten to add!
13. You can have anything to drink on earth. What one beverage is your favorite?
A bottle of Beringer sparking rose. With my lovely wife of course!
14. What film do you love so much that when you view it you follow the dialogue in your head?
Films I think you mean. Star Wars. The Princess Bride. In The Beginning (A Babylon 5 telemovie).
15. Okay. You’re damn tired. It’s been a long day. You want to go to bed but you don’t have any sheets on it. Do you make it? Or throw yourself on it?
That bed gets made. Then I throw myself on it.
16. Who is the funniest person ever?
Eddie Izzard. Or Stephen Fry.
17. If you could have one more look at a person, who would you choose?
My Grandma. God, I miss her!
18. There are no health issues: no diabetes, no cholesterol, no high blood pressure. We don’t have to gnaw fiber. You can eat what you want without consequence. What’s for breakfast?
A warm croissant. With butter and strawberry jam of course. And a large café latte.
19. Yeah. You can have him/her and there are no consequences. Who? Who is your ideal partner?
My wife. She is my ideal partner in every single way. My life without her would be infinitely poorer.
20. What is your deal breaker in a friendship (not a romantic relationship)?
No sense of humour. I can’t stand serious people.
21. If you could effortlessly change one aspect of yourself, what would you choose?
My ability to worry about stupid things that are not in my power to control.
22. If you can banish one thing from the earth - what would you chose? And come on - let’s let beauty pageant contestants handle hatred, poverty, and racism. What one thing do you want removed without consequence?
Stupidity. That or ignorance, for which there is no excuse.
23. What’s the best product? What item do you recommend to people?
Champagne. It has many uses, the best of which is drinking.
24. If you could, would you live on a desert island? In a monastery? Do you like solitude or do you like people surrounding you?
I like people, but I also like my ‘me’ time, or as I should call it now ‘us’ time. Crowds make me twitchy, mostly because I hate people barging into me. I’m not invisible and if people do barge into me I will barge back. If I could I’d live by the sea and if things turn out right we might just end up doing that!
25. What is your best childhood memory?
I think I must have been 6 or so. I was at my grandparents house at the bottom of the road where we lived and I think it was late evening in the winter, because I remember it was dark outside. I had a book and I was sitting in my favourite chair, this huge-backed thing with armrests that I could lean on. My grandma had made me a mug of warm milk I remember sitting there feeling warm and safe and happy as the rain and wind battered at the french windows at the end of the room.
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Alysa Salzberg
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Comments
Love your answers and bottom line: You are a hell of a great husband!
Meanwhile.....I would bet you are an excellent husband.
Persephone - I ain't saying anything. And I try my best to be a good husband. It's my first go at this and I want our happily ever after!
Tink! You too? (Sob!)
Kathleen - I'll keep trying!
Eastinidaho - Cake please!
Lschmoopie - well, it honestly does.
Scanner - It's something that's stuck in my mind for years.
Alison - Comforting? Me? Am I doing something wrong?