NOVEMBER 18, 2009 12:33PM


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I was just sitting here wondering which way to turn when outside my window Crow called out.  CAW! Message from spirit. Crow Medicine is about sacred law and has to do with walking your talk; speaking your truth.

 I sat up straight and clicked on Open Salon. It could have been my journal, or my online gonzo journal, or my blog, or Twitter, or Facebook, but it's been a long time since I've come to the page in this forum and longer still since I've come here empty handed and empty headed. Just a little stream-of-consciousness for the folks back home.

 Monday night I went to the greatest party ever. It was in Denver.  Curtis at Broadway in the Gilmore Art Center in the old Mile High Framing Building. I was at least a half hour early and sat in the car until 6 pm when you could legally park. As I sat there in the dark, I watched one car after another pull the same stunt.

The invitation had come from MPP (Marijuan Policy Project) - I've been on their email list for years - but it was a joint effort put on by Sensible Colorado and SAFER. It was a party to promote the book, Marijuana is Safer: So Why Are We Driving People to Drink?

The authors are leaders of three of the nation's most successful marijuana reform organizations:

Steve Fox, Director of State Campaigns, Marijuana Policy Project (MPP); Paul Armentano, Deputy Director, National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML); and Mason Tvert, Executive Director, Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation (SAFER).

 Here's the thing about the marijuana movement: everybody is really nice! I mean, you walk in, hazzard a smile at a stranger and that stranger smiles back ~ sincerely. Warmly. Happily. Everybody is really happy to see you because they know the same thing you know:

These are my people.

It's funny. Earlier I was watching a video from Invisible Children. I posted a copy of my blog about that a while ago. As I watched the video I broke down emotionally. Something about this movement to save children in Northern Uganda from a renegade army who would kidnap them and turn them into killers reaches a profound corner of my psyche. It's not just the Invisible Children, or their young advocates (who are aging quickly in their videos as they dedicate their lives to this struggle) that tear at me. It's what I was going through personally when I camped out with Invisible Children in Seattle.

I had moved to Tacoma, Washington, to try to save my sister and her daughter from themselves. Drugs and alcohol. It was becoming increasingly obvious that I would fail in this effort. Soon I would leave Tacoma and the wreckage of my family behind and put my dwindling energy and resources into saving myself. Again.

 Many years ago, I had to save myself from alcohol. Like many in my family, I'm an alcoholic. I was able to free myself from alcohol in 1977 with the help of the Haight Ashbury Free Clinic in San Francisco... and marijuana. Every time I went to the clinic to report on my progress, I had them write down that I wanted to give a lot of the credit to marijuana - and to feed into whatever statistics were being gathered on the use of marijuana to heal addiction. It was far more effective than the Valium and Antabuse they gave me.  Actually, I very much appreciated the Valium at the time. Let's not kid ourselves.

It was a long climb, and I have many friends to thank, especially Sally Swift of Daily Sally fame, who was there to offer me unconditional love and zero judgement. She was one of my first stepping stones to a SAFER CHOICE. Thank you, Sister Sally, and thank you, Sister Marijuana.

I've been wrestling with my obligation to "come out of the cabinet" about my use of medical marijuana. There are risks involved. I'm in the job market, for crying out loud. But sometimes, when the Muse calls, you must answer.



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I forgot to make one point that ties the party in Denver to the Displace Me camp-out in Seattle. A theme that ran through the entire, long, very long Displace Me piece is that I was a woman who couldn't find her people. It was the realization at the party in Denver that, "These are my people!" that flashed me back to my day of alienation and displacement in Seattle. And that memory flashed me back to my own struggle with recovery and the role marijuana played in that.

I just decided to stop calling it "medical marijuana" because it's just plain redundant.


So there you are.
Still sending unconditional love and support, zero judgment a given. Make your choices, sing your songs, smile your sweet smile with its mischievous twinkle and fly with the crows, baby. And when it's time, get your blinkin arse back East, dammit! Love, Sam and Janet Evening
Sally! Girlfriend! So happy to see you here. Especially considering the content of your message. There are no co-inky-dinks. I was just about to post another tidbit when I noticed... lo and behold... a comment! When I think of social networking, I think of you.

I think about how I was chatting on AOL from Austin as The
Barrow Gang or Bad Girl. I remember an unseen hand guiding the conversation when it started to veer out of control. That could so easily have been you. In fact, that describes your essence in my life when I haven't managed to drag my blinkin arse back East.

Until then, much love from
Lois Carmen Denominator