The Silent Treatment.

JANUARY 13, 2009 1:20AM

A Fistful of Hot Dogs.

You could exchange fake money for real hot dogs? Mormons had the best religion in the world!


 

As recently noted, while growing up my besty was Mormon. She was also the only girl my age in the neighborhood so maybe the two are one and the same… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 12, 2009 10:04PM

Mormon Friend.

 

My best friend, growing up, was a Mormon. This had no specific connotation for me other than "Mormon" was not "Catholic", and therefore my friend, whose name was Laura Irving, was looked down on by my mother. Not unkindly, but with the same smiley indulgence my mom reserved for… Read full post »

JANUARY 10, 2009 10:24PM

God is My Birth Control.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed. -Psalm
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JANUARY 7, 2009 8:42PM

Star Light, Star Bright.

"Tyfannie Rose Hugglebert"? Try SN-612, biotch!


 I was out shopping for groceries and I saw a big bin of stuffed toys. Naturally I went over because no trip to the store is complete without checking out the toys, even if you just pretend you're going down that aisle as… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 7, 2009 12:57AM

Some Ends Don't Meet.

 

 

"A 'welfare queen' may breed brats, it's true, but she also raises future citizens like all others - flawed and aspiring toward something better." - Mary Childers.


Here I am, years beyond the days when my mother periodically relied on welfare to raise her three ch…

Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 6, 2009 1:18AM

Anyone Want to Buy a Pony?

How eBay took a pleasurable pastime and drop-kicked it into molten lava. But maybe it was time to grow up anyhow...


Crap collectors used to do things the hard way. They actually went out looking for the thing they fancied, combing flea markets and garage sales to turn up… Read full post »