Zen & The Art of Foreclosure

A backwards account of losing every thing & yet no thing

Just before the government stepped in and stole the show with the news of a program to help troubled homeowners, a few of the big banks like Bank of America and Citigroup had announced their own plans to work with troubled borrowers.  Nobody wants the appearance of being… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 26, 2010 10:06AM

Foreclosure: Obama Muscles in on PETA to Help Octomom

Just when I thought the hottest news item of the day from the foreclosure crisis consisted of PETA and/or Vivid Entertainment bailing out Octomom from foreclosure, the news outlets (what few are left) are abuzz with news of large banks reducing mortgage balances for troubled borrowers.  Hmmm&hel… Read full post »

YESTERDAY MORNING AT 4:30AM I WROTE THE FOLLOWING:

The past few years have been… um… interesting.  Some might call them disastrous.  Others chaotic.  Less sympathetic folk might even label those years as pathetic.  And yet I prefer to use the term interesting beca… Read full post »

It’s March 19th, 2010 and I’m still in the house.  At some point in the near or far future my lender, Bank of America, is going to foreclose on me and there's little if anything I can do about it.  I've been rummaging through solutions for over a year and finally… Read full post »

I am not certain how many days I have left until foreclosure.  I am not certain where I will move.  I am not certain how the final moments in my house will feel, whether I will cry tears of relief orRead full post »
And by “pulled a Palin” I mean an "alleged" involvement in an abuse of power scandal that draws all kinds of unwanted attention toward the state.  This winter season’s spate of unseasonable bad weather in the Northeast can mean only one thing:  Mother Nature is embarrassed… Read full post »
[insert random number here… again] days remain until my house is foreclosed on by my lender, Bank of America.  Last week I discovered the public auction sale date of the house was scheduled for March 3rd.  This was via a random flyer I received in the mail from some loan mod… Read full post »

13 days remain until my house goes up for sale in a public auction by my lender.  No one is as surprised as me to learn that my foreclosure date was set for March 3rd,… Read full post »

[Talented psychic please insert number here] days remain until my house is foreclosed upon.  I’m standing in line for tickets to what promises to be the foreclosure event of the season.   I’ve been standing in line for months and have no idea when I’ll reach the tickeRead full post »

FEBRUARY 5, 2010 1:34PM

Foreclosure: A Kvetch-22

I no longer have any idea how many days remain until my house is foreclosed upon by Bank of America.  What a weird lender they are losing all of this money with their backwards bureaucracy of dealing with homeowners unable to make their mortgage payments.  I’ve spent the past yearRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 28, 2010 9:03AM

Throwdown:Obama's State of the Union vs. Steve Jobs' Keynote

Yes, I’m still in my house and no, I haven’t spoken to the lender about what’s going on.  That’s my current game plan and I’m sticking to it.  Like many a concerned citizen I tuned into President Obama’s State of the Union Address last night in hopes of sRead full post »

I have no idea how much longer I’ll remain in this house and that’s okay… for today at least.  I haven’t called my lender, Bank of America, to find out the status on my foreclosure mostly because I just don’t feel like it.  Banks have spent so many years misbe… Read full post »
Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 15, 2010 10:34AM

Foreclosure Outside the House: A Guide to Dating

Today I was in a pretty good mood and about an hour or two into the elation it began to feel monotonous.  The best cure for such happiness is usually a phone call to my lender.  I still haven’t bothered to call Bank of America to find out the details ofRead full post »

JANUARY 13, 2010 12:03PM

Foreclosure Notices Are Not Yellow

I have no idea how many days remain until my lender, Bank of America, forecloses on my house and boots me out.  My house no longer exists on their website that handles foreclosure auction sale dates and postponements so there’s no telling what is going on.  A public auction of my… Read full post »

For the first time since I started this blog I am unable to write my usual lead in of “[BLANK] days remain until my house is foreclosed upon.”  Whew.  I was getting so sick of trying to find ways to freshen up that statement for every entry.  Yesterday, January 4th, my… Read full post »

DECEMBER 16, 2009 5:30PM

Outsourcing Foreclosure Overseas

20 days remain until a public short sale of my house changes the title out of my name and into Bank of America’s… which is Bank of America.  I know, what a dumb name for an owner.  I like mine better but at this point there’s nothing I can do to… Read full post »

26 days remain until my house is foreclosed upon.  I’ll skip over the whys and hows for now because the foreclosure crisis has somehow weaseled its way back into the news and come between me and my TMZ.com addiction.  Yes, I’m the guy in foreclosure who should care the most but… Read full post »

28 days remain until my house is foreclosed upon.  The lack of communication on the part of my lender, Bank of America, in regards to a predictable timetable for this calamity causes me to wander around the house with a certain sense of paranoia.  “They’re comin’ for ya wh… Read full post »

32 long days remain until my house is foreclosed in a public auction.  With the recent postponement I’m officially cleared to pull my wallet from the back tarmac of my pants and RSVP a flight home for the holidays.  The timing couldn’t be better considering airline ticket prices… Read full post »

35 days remain until my house is to be foreclosed upon.  Last Tuesday, one day before my house was to be liquidated at a public auction sale, I received yet another postponement of foreclosure from my lender.  It is now set to take place on January 4th, 2010.  I’m onRead full post »

Today my house was to be foreclosed upon in a public auction sale.  Until yesterday afternoon I wasn’t certain whether Thanksgiving morning would find me filling cardboard boxes with my belongings and swathing glassware in bubble wrap or making mashed potatoes and kneading dinner roll doug… Read full post »

5 short days remain until my house faces the public auction chopping block in a foreclosure sale.  Hopefully the buyer's blade will be as sharp as the auctioneer's tongue.  I want this to be a quick and painless death for my house because the process thus far is anything but.  With… Read full post »

One week remains until my house is foreclosed upon a public auction sale in the morning on November 25th.  I’ve become rather nonchalant about the matter until the thought of being tossed out on my ear by the sheriff lit a fire under my ass over the past few days to… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
NOVEMBER 13, 2009 4:47PM

Foreclosure: My Lender & I Are No Longer Lovers

13 days remain until my house changes statistic categories from delinquent mortgage to foreclosure when it goes up for sale at a public auction on November 25th.  My lender, Bank of America, isn’t speaking to me and I’m not speaking to them.  I broke off the engagement weeks ago… Read full post »

17 days remain until my house is allegedly foreclosed upon.  I say “allegedly” because I’ve been duped twice already and while I might be somewhat of a fool, I’m not unpacking the boxes I’ve already packed.  I want to be ready when foreclosure comes calling. &nRead full post »