the only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share
MY RECENT POSTS
- keeping him here as long as i
July 29, 2014 08:05PM
- but i still have good dreams
July 28, 2014 10:06AM
- i'm not in love
July 27, 2014 09:33AM
- my lizard brain is really
July 25, 2014 09:59AM
July 22, 2014 10:57AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “i recently, for the
first time, or if i ever saw
it before i
blocked it out,
- “all of this, so right
find toonie, and you will all
- “come on now. a properly
weighted knife will certainly
on your pointer.
- “hey hey hey now. lots of
got awesome work done in your
- “Ah I was so hoping for a
I am sorry,
problem is, the kid doesnt WANT to be here. its boring, as i said. and yes, they are aholes to each other. tho they did just have like an eight second-long pleasant interaction. so thats something.
but tonight, i got home from work, and he had dinner waiting for me! not… Read full post »
i dreamt last night that boy at work fell asleep on me
no, not after coitus, not after anything. he gave me a hug while i was laying down in bed, and kept hugging me, and i heard some breaths that sounded like sleep breaths and i stayed real still, but… Read full post »
i think i like to be in love. i think it hardly matters if the other person is in love back. well, it matters, and certainly at times, christ, it matters very very very very much.
oh my god the heartbreak i suffered in the past couple years. horrific. so i… Read full post »
so re: my son's homelessness. i dont like it. i know i wrote about it lightly the other day, and i am not the level of freaked out i was at first, which is that if a raindrop fell, if they even said it was going to rain, you could not… Read full post »
so, i was away for a month or so, while big transitions were happening.
first - got the procedure, and it was most definitely an actual operation. it was in an operating room, which i was totally unprepared for. and i had things on my legs so i didnt get… Read full post »
are you in or are you out? what in christ's name do you mean, half in? what's that - up to your waist? whats the point of that? might as well be in at least up to your heart, over your head is even better. who wants to wade through life? … Read full post »
we were leaving work together, after laughing together all day
i'll give you a ride to your car, you said.
i'll have to sit on my hands, i said, and hilarity ensued.
you're sitting in back, you said, and more hilarity ensued.
i didnt sit in back, of course. nor on… Read full post »
i'll ride home with you, i say.
it's not home. it's 3000 miles away from where i live, to a place that i hope will become home.
come home, i say.
it's not home. it's 3000 miles away from where he lives, a place that used to be home.
picture if you will, a girl and her sisters and her mom watching some tv show. the girl is tiny, tho she feels fat, and she has the straightest lankest hair you have ever seen, which she doesnt care for. the room is kind of dark, and they are watching a… Read full post »
ok, i just got huge news, which is i dont have to move till the 15th of june. thank god, bc i was sitting in my nowhere-near-ready house, with today and tomorrow to accomplish it.
still need to sort out our clothes, and every time i walk into my bedroom,… Read full post »
i have a new idea. its called "prostitution."
its a more honest way for men and women to interact, and is a plan that should leave everyone happier.
i have a friend who was disappointed by a guy this weekend (ha, a friend! oh i was let down too, but in… Read full post »
so, the preparations for the move have begun. got a couple loads of boxes out the other day.
i can barely tolerate it, have been dreading even just the clothes folding. realized why, when i started folding...
because i have to sort my son's out separate from mine.
cause he… Read full post »
zanelle reminded me of good news sundays. they were a very good thing, werent they?
lately, i feel i have no good news, but thats a total crock of shit.
pardon my foul mouth. sometimes, i really love my foul mouth cause its funny and makes me actually laugh out loud. … Read full post »
now some other NBA team owner said he would cross the street if he saw a black kid in a hoodie.
he also said if he saw a white man with tattoos on his face, he'd cross the side of the road, back to the side with the black kid.
the… Read full post »
ok, so guess what?
i go to doctor for hysterectomy consult. and its NOT a hysterectomy consult, bc she strongly feels we should do the ablation!
which is what i was DREAMING of before this whole thing got started and convoluted and alarming.
and so i should be SO HAPPY, right?… Read full post »
less alone with you guys here.
my brain, i wish it would just shut up.
bill is my brain. chuck is all my systems that wish it would just shut UP.
so, thats a relief.
appt on monday to figure out next step. funny - first thought i had upon hearing it was fine was the EXACT same thought i had last year, when i chickened out of hysterectomy - my brain supplied me with, "well thats an awfully major… Read full post »
i read a post on slate called 50 things about my mother. i would like to do that too, but i dont know if i can remember 50 things. so i will say some, instead.
she is the one who taught me that you share what you have, that no matter… Read full post »
this is my third post today. and i am tipsy. drank three glasses of moscato in 20 minutes. thats like sparkling grape juice, except it gives you enough of a buzz to laugh, and to need to retype practically every single word.
the boy is going to live somewhere else. thats… Read full post »
when i want
how i want
because i want to
because i like fucking.
i have made love some, too. i like that even better.
but you cant maintain that sweetness, the utter swoon that is behind lovemaking. there is a gratitude to the earth and the sky and the sun… Read full post »
huh, who knew? this song is about a young male prostitute. been singing the chorus for how long now, and never knew? she likes to sing at parties, sometimes she fakes the words.
ok, not really, but im gonna, soon as i get some pics.
got my checkup today, and an ultrasound of my uterus. as i was getting the ultrasound, i remembered the one where i first heard the boys heartbeat. and i cried, of course. i assume everyone does. its an… Read full post »
its nothing extreme. there's nothing new. so it can only be the hormones. friend from the city slept over last night, on my charming day bed. thats the bed i slept in at the old apartment. i had two beds. the one i had slept in with a boy, and the… Read full post »
well this is always a tip off for me - you wake up and are crying or livid within minutes. today it's crying, and it wouldnt stop, so i came over here to write - a focus helps it stop, see?
you know, since i decided to get serious… Read full post »
or ENFT, EMFP, depending on what comes out of my mouth that rhymes with and therefore sounds like, ENFP. which is very ENFP of me. my son said its impossible that i am an ENFP. he said there is no way my type doesnt end in J.
J for judgy,… Read full post »