the only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share

with someone else when you're uncool
SEPTEMBER 30, 2014 10:53PM

sometimes a great notion

talked to my friend tonight, my dear caustic poet friend.  he talks in poetry more than anyone else i have ever known, AND makes me laugh a lot, AND can be caustic as hell.  those are not common poet traits.

we got to talking about Ken Kesey's Sometimes a Great Notion.… Read full post »

kit did an open call.

to write about five things we've learned in the past month.

hmm.  i have had quite a month.

i have learned that you can meet bright young men in the probation office waiting room.  met a young man planning a spoken word event, with the theme… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 26, 2014 11:15PM

ah, fuck. i just gave notice. two weeks.

at my job number one, that i love so much, with the co-worker i frivolously love.

little sick to my stomach.

the boss gave me one day next week.  he gave the guy who left the key cabinet unlocked the last day he worked?  the cabinet with all the keys to… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 25, 2014 10:52PM

i'd give up the internet to live there

a wanderlust has overtaken me, a nearly primal or primeval or primordial desire to travel.  how so primordial?  well, didnt those fish wanna walk so bad, they grew feet?  saw the hundred foot journey tonight.  takes place in the south of france.

thats where i would give up the int… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 23, 2014 10:24AM

i didnt even have to blow anybody!!

once, when i was going to see radiohead, and it was a small place, and i fantasized i might get to meet thom yorke, i asked the ex what i should say if i meet him.  he said "two words.  blow.  job."  which made me laugh really hard.  he has been… Read full post »

i had up a terrible rant that barely even touched how frustrated i really feel.

instead i am going to focus on the good.  and right now, thank you world and god and the universe and the fact he stole a car and was honest about how he felt, so that… Read full post »

so, working a six day week this week.

exHAUSTED.  you know, i havent worked full time, let alone more than full time, since my son was born.

this week i will have something like 50 hours.  i dont know exactly.

its freaking killing me, even tho i love BOTH of my… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 17, 2014 9:08PM

oy. gevult. edited.

my son has a great job, at a store where he gets a free chocolate shake every time he works.

with the finest person i have ever known.  no lie.  she is like me at my very best.  except she is like that all the time.  she is amazing in her… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 16, 2014 5:27AM

daisies and pot roasts

daisies and pot roasts

trophies and large fish

pretty tables and outfits

here is my mother 

the brother who is lost

we do not mention him

when we give thanks

when we crow about the children

the father with a belt

is glossed over in death

a shining paragon

dinner was… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 14, 2014 3:46PM

free time leads to freakouts

ok, so, things may well wind up okay with my son, and if the therapist is good and keith keeps doing as well as he has and my son wants to, and of course me, i mean, things could turn out FINE.  like maybe even as fine as i always hoped.… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 13, 2014 1:15PM

a day to relax

look at me, sitting here, hardly stressed out at all.  sitting in the recliner (my favorite piece of furniture ever invented.  tho i did just discover the full length ottoman, and i am pretty in love with that, too.  all those years i said i wanted a couch bed, but not… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 11, 2014 8:41PM

pond's oc. where i was on 9/11

i was home in my little apartment in a little small upstate new york town.  we had a stewarts, a library, pizza place, a movie theater, some good walking, a great bookstore in my building, and buses to get us to and fro, because i had been without a car for… Read full post »

it was called, "i just spoke with barney frank"


Yes, that Barney Frank.  Barney Frank, Chair of the House Financial Services Committee.  Barney Frank whose wardrobe tarnishes the phrase gay man.   The conversation went like this:

JS:  Hi Mr. Frank.  My naRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 8, 2014 10:11PM

too tired for details, but all is well

therapist might be good.  too soon to say, but there are certainly very good glimmers of hope.  okay, i am hopeful, and there it is.

our lawyer got the felony charge reduced to a misdemeanor charge.  that means that when its time to negotiate, instead of starting from the high point… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 7, 2014 10:02PM

can i be frivolous for a moment?

first, i got to dream last night about the boy at work.  no, nothing torrid.  i dont have torrid dreams if they cant come true.  but i DID get to slide my mouth along his neck, while we were hugging and i was asking someone to wait, i would be right… Read full post »

gonna do a presentation about nature poetry, and as part of it, i will read three of my own poems.  could read as many as i want.  could do just my own.  but my aim is to show people accessible poetry in general, not just mine.

i looked into it lastRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 3, 2014 6:08PM

quick update

so had intake at therapist's.  i went with him.  i cried a lot.  the two things that stand out most to me are that he agreed with me that keith is doing much better interacting with him, which is clear and makes me very very happy, but i didnt know if… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 2, 2014 10:16AM

all all all good thoughts today

especially for calmness, for both of us.

thank you.

really, good thoughts coming at us from the universe help.

i am sure of it. 

  Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 1, 2014 10:31AM

i need my mommy.

trying so hard here to keep a good outlook.  so is the boy.   so is keith.

and yesterday, we decided to have a nice day.   lunch and a walk.

first there was a ridiculous fiasco at the local farmer's market bakery.  dont ask.  if i told the story, it would sound… Read full post »

i am not homeless.  some of you might be thinking that is a weak blessing - but think of not having a home.  really think about it.  and think of how many people ARE homeless.  think of sleeping outside.  on a bench.  think of people spiteful enough they want to hire… Read full post »

AUGUST 26, 2014 9:59PM

the post i cant write

is anyone else being asked for their last name and zip code before creating a new post?  i just was.

post i cant write, i just cant write.  i thought i would write it now.  but i cant.

shortcut is that my son stole a car, drove it around, put gas in it using money… Read full post »

AUGUST 20, 2014 6:18PM

my new job

is to raise 40-50 thousand dollars in 6 to 8 weeks.

now, with the way my gofundme flopped, one might be skeptical that i can do this.  but This Cause oughta do okay.

i have my own office.

with a double desk

two computers

and a conference table.

and all sorts… Read full post »

AUGUST 20, 2014 11:41AM

2nd job interview, please wish me luck

remember i bragged that some exec director had sent me a note to apply for a job?  i called yesterday and went in for my first interview and my second is today at 1 and i will likely get it.

should be able to keep the job i love, since this… Read full post »

AUGUST 18, 2014 10:59PM

fast update with happy news

super fast, cause i have to go to bed bc work at 7 am tomorrow.

**added:  AND i just learned the labrea tar pits are in LA!!  i am SO THERE! 

saw my old friend this morning.  crying the whole time.  snot running out.  he and keith pretended they couldnt see me,… Read full post »

drove up to the berkshires with keith yesterday.  after a morning so bad it made the morning of the car being heisted look easy.  cried all day.  not all day.  i took five minute breaks and started up again, all day.

till about 3:30. when i realized we can drive up to… Read full post »