keith was my beard at open mic, bc between writing the last post and tonight (as noted in a comment), i saw pics of handholder at a waterfall on facebook this weekend (when *I* did not see him), with his two special lady friends who he lies and says are like sisters.
and i am weak and unable to resist his advances, tho every time i respond favorably, he pulls back again. its been a couple few months now, and he does it every time, and enough is enough.
so i asked keith to come and be my beard, bc once he thinks keith is back in the picture, handholder will no longer make the advances. and i wont have to resist anything or feel a fool for being unable to resist.
now, since i am mostly free of keith in my heart, if i can just get rid of handholder, then i MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET SOME GODDAMNED PEACE.
so we go, and he is NOT being a good beard, at all. he is sitting next to me with his big knee jutting into my side. hardly the picture of love or desire or even sweet affection.
so i have a hot flash, and need to go home to change and he comes with me (i have to tell him to). and i ask him what the hell kind of beard is he, and he says, "you havent even tried to hold my hand!" and i say "when is the last time a girl used pawing on a boy to make another boy think he oughta leave her alone OR be jealous, either one?" and he said he had no idea.
so we got back. and he was a PERFECT beard. perfect. handholder messed up every single song multiple times. NOTICABLY messed up, and i am not even attuned enough to recognize mistakes. so, i was glad of that. and keith was proud of his bearding skills.
and the lady who runs open mic? she was NOT falling for it. i got up to get a drink of water? she sat right down by him and put her hand on his knee (and she likes girls). then he put his arm around her, and i knew she knew and she said, "you jealous?" and then i burst out laughing and had to leave cause someone was singing.
and then a man from one of the community residences sat down in her seat, and then keith put his arm around HIM, and we were all dying laughing, and when is the last time you heard of KEITH making anyone laugh??
then it was over and he went for a walk with me then hightailed it out of here. which i resent, cause i am me after all.
and now the yute who is visiting is playing guitar and he is so good i am shocked, and the daughter of the woman who used to be a goodfriend who lives around the corner and we havent spoken in a year, but i have missed her children a lot, her daughter is here with their dog, and i am very glad.
i have on two coats of mascara. was gonna wear a ribbed pink sweater (girly!), with a keyhole at the neck where you COULD see cleavage if i sat just right? and, since this is my first lifetime as a girl? i tried to put perfume on my cleavage, and instead i sprayed the shirt and stained it and had to change. went with a plain old polo.
so, thats that.