Dear Stressed Out Human,

why must you keep fearing the worst?

in all this time, when has the worst happened?

know when?

never!

not once, through decades and years and months and weeks and hours, thousands of hours spent worrying, has the worst happened!

when's the last time you died?  never!

you haven't even been homeless!

not gone bald, developed a giant goiter, nor burned down the house.

the car drives straight, and the tires dont blow.

sure, the heart breaks, but when's the last time you didn't like what you found better than what you lost?

never!  that's right!

so please,

chill the fuck out!

life is short, you got that much right!  if you have to pretend you are at a party all the time, being your damn best most charming and life-loving self, then pretend away

cause being alive IS a party, when you are as lucky as you!

for fucking fuck's sake, you exhaust yourself, and why?

christ, you haven't even lost power in the past umpteen weatherocalypses!

haven't missed a single glass of water, or had to have dirty hands.

quit letting your flawed friends drive you crazy.  they are flawed humans, just like you, so take it easy on them, show a little mercy.

and show some on yourself, too.

and the kid.

and any new boys or girls loitering around out there in the world.  they are mere humans too.

go read a book, a book you already know you love.

go AFK, watch downton abbey, eat some crap food or some good food, whichever.

just calm down already.

fuck.

jesus christ, already.

everything bad that ever happened to anybody ever is NOT  just waiting for the right moment to happen to you, or those you love.

okay?

okay then.

god.