Did you ever wish that you had your finger on the pulse of hip, young America? Remember when suddenly everything was chipotle-flavoured a few years ago and you had no idea what that meant? Do you have trouble distinguishing between the passé and ironic revivals of the passé? Well Painfully Suburban's new feature, Resident Tastemaker, is here to help you appropriate the trends before they're even trends at all. Resident Tastemaker will lay it on the line, predicting what's up and coming in the world of culture.

Today's installment: Empty Rear Windowsills. In the same way that the sans-culottes represented a reaction against the omnipresent culottes of the day, this new trend is a response to the out-of-control growth of rear windowsill stuffed animal collections infesting the vehicles on our nation's interstate highway system. Trust Resident Tastemaker: rear windowsill menageries were NOT what Dwight D. Eisenhower had in mind! At the local level, the skepticism of motorists is growing dire:

"This parking situation on Bedford Ave. is ever so detestable! Oh look, here's a spot!"

"Isn't this a bit small? That car in the spot ahead is taking up part of this spot as well."

"Don't worry...it's just a stuffed animal car. Tally-ho!" (crashing sound) "Take that, Beanie Baby octopus!"

A clean rear windowsill is the new anti-culotte, a symbol of youthful rebellion that stands out amidst the sea of windowsill plushness. While moms in minivans will think that you are simply unable to compete with their extensive rear window petting zoos, in-the-know hipsters will see your clutter-free rear window and instantly recognise you as one of their own, cementing your status as an avant-garde trendsetter and rebel.