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APRIL 29, 2008 12:47PM

"The Hills" House: A Revised Prediction

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hills house 

 Oh no! In less than half an episode, last week's prediction of a massive house on "The Hills" where Lauren, Lo, Audrina, and Justin Bobby live together forever wasn't exactly shattered, but there were ominous foreshadowings that Audrina and JB won't be living there and hanging out there, respectively, for long. First, Audrina and JB were worrying that outside "drama" (codespeak for "Lauren") will spoil their relationship just as it did the last time. Then, Lauren went on a date with Stephen (of Laguna Beach/"Laguna Beach") where she talked about how fun and spontaneous Lo is but noted that Audrina isn't "that type" of roommate. Finally, the trailer for next week's episode showed a new puppy joining the house and Audrina considering moving out.

Taking all these clues into consideration, the illustration of "The Hills" house has been revised to reflect the probable departures of Audrina and JB, and the addition of a puppy. Also looming on the horizon (represented by her picture hovering over the house) is Stephanie, who is the logical choice to replace Audrina in the house, as she has built some incredible relationship momentum with Lauren over the past two or three episodes. It should all play out like this:

LAUREN (in billiards room, shouting into basement): Lo, do you want to go to Villa tonight?

LO (in basement, shouting): Sure! Sounds great! 

PUPPY: (barking) 

LAUREN (shouting into kitchen): Hey, Stephanie! Lo and I are going to Villa. You in? You can borrow my People's Revolution bayonet!

STEPHANIE (shouting into billiards room): Sorry, I can't. I'm going out with Heidi tonight.

LAUREN (shouting): Even in a new house, my friends always betray me! Why? Why?

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the hills, television, trash

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HAHAHA, yeah... "Lauren" spoiled Audrina and JustinBobby's "relationship." It had nothing at all to do with him being an a$$hole and Audrina being desperate enough to believe and put up with ANYTHING just to be "with" him.

I'm sorry for all the air-quotes... but these two morons have such a tenuous grip on reality that anything to do with them is air-quotes material.