Did you ever wish that you had your finger on the pulse of hip, young America? Remember when suddenly everything was chipotle-flavoured a few years ago and you had no idea what that meant? Do you have trouble distinguishing between the passé and ironic revivals of the passé? Well Painfully Suburban's new feature, Resident Tastemaker, is here to help you appropriate the trends before they're even trends at all. Resident Tastemaker will lay it on the line, predicting what's up and coming in the world of culture.

Today's installment: What Happens in Atlantic City. Las Vegas, we get it! You're a big cauldron of secrecy, and what happens within your city limits stays there! Your advertising campaign and your Ashton Kutcher-Cameron Diaz movie have made that point perfectly clear. If we want to flirt with cocktail waitresses til 11:30 PM, slightly overeat at a huge buffet, or waste half a paycheck on slot machines, we know where to go. But what about those of us who want to make our proudest holiday accomplishments known to the world? Atlantic City, NJ, it's your time to shine, because what happens in Atlantic City does not stay in Atlantic City!
 
"This business trip has been a true success! And I found a Sacagawea dollar on the boardwalk!"

"I concur, it has been smashing, especially when that friendly stranger took our photo with the Ventnor Avenue street sign. What a shame that he took my box of salt water taffy. I would have given him a piece had he asked nicely."

"Don't let's forget to stop by the public relations concierge desk when we return to the hotel. They can write up a press release of all these vacay achievements and mail it out to our closest friends. They will be most delighted."
 
In addition to press releases, Atlantic City hotels' public relations concierge desks will offer a full range of personalised vacation DVD's to take home to the family (kids of all ages will be fascinated by your hotel room's mirrored ceiling), descriptive skywriting above your neighbourhood (for an additional fee), and an announcement on the local public access station of every detail of your stay. There is no need to feel ashamed about your vacation as Las Vegas would have you believe. A stay in secrets-free Atlantic City will have a lasting effect on your entire personal life! Bon voyage!