Did you ever wish that you had your finger on the pulse of hip, young America? Remember when suddenly everything was chipotle-flavoured a few years ago and you had no idea what that meant? Do you have trouble distinguishing between the passé and ironic revivals of the passé? Well Painfully Suburban's new feature, Resident Tastemaker, is here to help you appropriate the trends before they're even trends at all. Resident Tastemaker will lay it on the line, predicting what's up and coming in the world of culture.

Today's installment: Worldwide Rooster. Worldwide Rooster is still so underground that no one can say for sure exactly what it is yet. With no internet presence whatsoever, Worldwide Rooster relies on an armada of glamorous customised Cadillacs to build up buzz before eventually achieving market dominance in the very near future. Despite all the mystery surrounding Worldwide Rooster, it won't stop society's cutting-edge trendsetters from acting like they're in-the-know, leading to some vague conversations chock full o' scorn and superiority:

"I'm gonna go check out Worldwide Rooster next week. You have heard of it, right?"

"Yeah, they totally have a hot new sound."

"Well I heard that there's a new Worldwide Rooster store opening in Chelsea. I'm so into their designs."

"For sure. And I'm totally going to watch Worldwide Rooster on TV tonight, while eating a big plate of Worldwide Rooster."

Resident Tastemaker recently spotted the Worldwide Rooster 7 Cadillac on a local motorway, so there are presumably at least six others out there spreading the good word. It is safe to assume that their oversized antennae are being used to broadcast important information...if only mankind could create technology advanced enough to receive those signals today! For now, we'll just have to wait, but when the Worldwide Rooster craze breaks, remember to act nonchalant...you knew it was coming all along.