Dana Dangerous

Dana Dangerous
Location
California, USA
Birthday
April 04
Bio
Dana is a six-foot, blonde, busty, liberal, lesbian lawyer, just like everyone else in L.A. *** One morning in 1973, she awoke on a park bench in a strange city, with no shoes. Finding herself in Southern California, she wandered the beaches of Santa Monica surviving on fish entrails and eeking out a meager living selling caricatures of Republican political figures, which she carved from tar balls that washed ashore from the many nearby offshore oil rigs. *** Ms. Dana got her start in politics when she landed a job as personal dominatrix to G. Gordon Liddy. That served as a springboard to her career in show business, and for the following six years, Ms. Dana could be seen performing eight shows a week in the back room of the Hwy 69 Truck Stop in Petaluma, California. It was there, during one of her midnight binge-and-purge sessions, that she developed her famous theories in socio-political philosophy. *** Currently, Ms. Dana spends her days jetting around the globe in wild shopping sprees and trying to avoid the many paparazzi who constantly pursue her. A major motion picture about her life is currently in production and scheduled for a Christmas release, starring Angelina Jolie as Dana and Danny DeVito as her longtime illicit lover, Squeaky. *** Commanding annual blog earnings well into eight figures, Ms. Dana has the commercial clout to write her own biographies which appear, unedited, in prestigious publications around the world.

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Salon.com
JANUARY 28, 2010 1:00AM

Return of the Blog Whore

Rate: 8 Flag

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 This is what comes from dabbling.

I couldn't keep up with the real writers, so I eventually lost interest. Lacking the time, talent and intelligence that most of you enjoy -- in fact, I'm pretty sure that if you held my head up to your ear, you could hear the ocean -- I left this place for more tabloidian pastures.

But no longer.  From this point forward, my inability to wrap duct tape around an artful sentence won't stop me from gleefully blog whoring.  So, instead, I will be the shallow, narcissitic bitch that I am.  Short posts, devoid of any hint of insight or entertainment shall be my fare.  Absence of talent shall be my guide. My sole focus shall be a singleminded and obsessive dedication to jamming the word "I" into each incoherent sentence.

So what would be the least offensive things for me to write about?  Moi?  Natch!  But let's see...  Gay life?  The Lovely Ladies in La-La Land, and their plastic surgeons?  Sex, sex and more sex?  Nekkid boobie pics?  Vapid TV shows?  Whatever, it just has to be salacious, deserving of your fascination and scorn, and leave you feeling oh-so-wonderful about your own writing.  Yes!  My goal is to make even your own crappy material shine with a glory never imagined.  I'm sure I can do it!

I'll figure something out.  In the meantime, I've pretty much reached my word limit, so I think I'll go paint my nails.

Ciao, Great Unwashed!

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Comments

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The guy in the photo, above? One of my fans, natch.
Umm . . . welcome back!
Ms. Dangerous, I've missed you, I think. I've been needing someone who can take the patina off this old bronze whore.
R
Are you the same person as Joan Wilder?
The two of you are both reasons I abandoned this place in despair. Your writing is so damn good!

Thankfully, good writing is sooooooooo 2009! What's "in" for 2010? Hmmm...curly blonde hair, strappy sandals, solar vibrators and blog whoring. And exclamation points!!! So I'm here to bring you all into the new decade (which really doesn't start until next year, but I am soooo above all that accuracy crap...!!!).
Hmmm . . . flattery will get you everywhere, but you probably know that. Fact is, I've missed your brassy voice here at OS. Ain't another one like it!
Hurray for nekkid boobie pictures!!!

Welcome back, the place has changed, there's now a calling for more trash!! OOOOOO YEA!!! ;)
Tink! Now I know I'm home!!!! :-)
Hey...loved the post...and the attitude is still here...good!
You have been missed Dana. I hope you bring you big lusty voice back here on a regular basis and write some more good posts for all of us to read.
I love the pics here btw. Glad to see this post!
Nakid Boobie Pictures are good...