This is what comes from dabbling.
I couldn't keep up with the real writers, so I eventually lost interest. Lacking the time, talent and intelligence that most of you enjoy -- in fact, I'm pretty sure that if you held my head up to your ear, you could hear the ocean -- I left this place for more tabloidian pastures.
But no longer. From this point forward, my inability to wrap duct tape around an artful sentence won't stop me from gleefully blog whoring. So, instead, I will be the shallow, narcissitic bitch that I am. Short posts, devoid of any hint of insight or entertainment shall be my fare. Absence of talent shall be my guide. My sole focus shall be a singleminded and obsessive dedication to jamming the word "I" into each incoherent sentence.
So what would be the least offensive things for me to write about? Moi? Natch! But let's see... Gay life? The Lovely Ladies in La-La Land, and their plastic surgeons? Sex, sex and more sex? Nekkid boobie pics? Vapid TV shows? Whatever, it just has to be salacious, deserving of your fascination and scorn, and leave you feeling oh-so-wonderful about your own writing. Yes! My goal is to make even your own crappy material shine with a glory never imagined. I'm sure I can do it!
I'll figure something out. In the meantime, I've pretty much reached my word limit, so I think I'll go paint my nails.
Ciao, Great Unwashed!




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Comments
R
Thankfully, good writing is sooooooooo 2009! What's "in" for 2010? Hmmm...curly blonde hair, strappy sandals, solar vibrators and blog whoring. And exclamation points!!! So I'm here to bring you all into the new decade (which really doesn't start until next year, but I am soooo above all that accuracy crap...!!!).
Welcome back, the place has changed, there's now a calling for more trash!! OOOOOO YEA!!! ;)
I love the pics here btw. Glad to see this post!